Whispers in the Dark
by RJane's Vindication
Summary: Multi-chapter, prequel. Terrorized by what he just can't remember, Joe's nightmares threaten to destroy not only him but his whole family as well. Can his family solve the mystery and unlock the buried secrets before it is too late? Or will the nightmares become reality and consume them all? Please review, I'd love to hear from you!
1. Prologue

**A/N: Yay! Another story! I really enjoyed writing the first one, and was absolutely blown away by all of the feedback and support I got in response! I think that this is going to be a really fun story to write, and I really hope that you all enjoy! I would, as always, love to hear what you think!**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize them, they're not mine. But some crashers are coming to the party, and I guess I'll take responsibility for them.**

**Let's get started!**

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'Happy birthday, Adam!'

Twenty-two year old Adam Cartwright lifted his eyes up from his finished breakfast plate and stared into the grinning faces of his father and two younger brothers. There it was, just as expected, the recognition that he had known was coming ever since he had woken up that morning. Unlike his little brother Joe, who would have been hinting at his family that something important was going on long before breakfast had even been served, Adam had just waited patiently, knowing that he wouldn't be forgotten. It was the first birthday he'd celebrated at home since he had gone away to college, and he couldn't help the way the corners of his mouth turned upward in anticipation as he returned his family's smiles with one of his own.

While he was much too old now to launch himself into an excited frenzy over the fact that it was his birthday, Adam had to admit that there was a large part of him that was secretly eager for the attention. Birthdays and holidays had been lonely times when he had been away; a letter, perhaps a small token sent through the mail, but nothing like the celebrations he had remembered as a boy. Birthdays, especially his sons' birthdays, had always been important milestones for Ben Cartwright, and he had never been one to shirk on his responsibility as patriarch. Adam felt his face flush slightly, the nostalgic memories causing his anticipation to further increase, and he turned expectant eyes to his father.

Ben couldn't help the surge of pride he felt as he looked at his eldest boy. No longer a boy, he corrected himself, but a man who had proved himself time and time again. Whatever the young man had set in his sights he had accomplished, sometimes with little more than his stubborn pride and an unquenchable spirit that had refused to give up. It had been four long years since he had been able to celebrate his son's birthday properly, and the depth of the contentment he felt at seeing all of his boys together again didn't cease to amaze him.

His happiness tempered slightly as he felt a slight pang of guilt at the sudden memory of all the heartache his oldest had gone through, the childhood Adam had never been able to have due to circumstance. They had been hard, those early years; constantly they had moved about, and all the time spent building up the ranch, not to mention the loss of too many loved ones. But Adam had never once complained at his situation, the boy's sense of duty towards his family never once wavering. Ben had to blink quickly to push back the slight moisture that was forming in his eyes as he thought about how proud Adam's mother would be of her son if she was still alive. Swallowing quickly, he reached over and took his oldest son's hand, squeezing it tightly between his two work-worn ones.

'Happy birthday, son,' his voice repeated warmly, his hands squeezing Adam's hand tighter. He smiled as he looked into his son's brown eyes. 'The day is yours. What do you want to do with it?'

Adam lowered his eyes back to his plate, his face growing warm again with the slight blush at the pride he saw on his father's face. He hadn't really thought much about what he had wanted to do with the day, his general assumption being that he would be busy with some ranching task, as was usual. It took him a minute to find his words, and when he finally spoke they seemed to get stuck in his throat.

'Well, I hadn't thought on it much, but…'

'Me first!'

Adam didn't have to worry about his momentary inability to get his thoughts out, his words abruptly cut off by the almost-shrill squeal of his youngest brother. Joe, the complete opposite of his reserved, thoughtful older brother, had never been one to put thoughts before actions. He ran on his emotions, a boundless energy that often left his older family members wary of what the outcome might be. They had all learned, the hard way sometimes, that the only thing that any of them could expect from Joe was the expectation of the unexpected.

Adam couldn't help the amused smile as he watched the obvious excitement on the ten-year-old's face, Joe's bright green eyes sparkling mischievously as he poked a skinny elbow into the ribs of his older middle brother. Hoss's response to the jab matched perfectly the gentle teenager's personality, a mixture of teasing and adoration for his little brother on his face. His was almost a simple kind of loyalty, wise beyond his sixteen years; he was the perfect balance for the sometimes volatile interactions between his older and younger brothers.

Hoss couldn't help the low chuckle that escaped from his throat as he responded good-naturedly to his little brother's provocation, his hand quickly running through the unruly curls that crowned the little boy's head. Joe's face scrunched up into a scowl at the treatment his hair was getting, his reaction only causing more laughter to erupt from the gentle teenager. His pale blue eyes signifying his agreement, Hoss just nodded his head at his little brother. Joe looked from one brother to the other as his face broke into a huge grin, and moving quickly, he suddenly ducked his head under the table.

Reappearing from under the table, Joe lunged excitedly at Adam, shoving a small box at him. Adam smiled at his young brother's enthusiasm as he looked at the crudely wrapped package. The mischievous look returned to the emerald eyes as a suddenly bold smirk skittered across Joe's impish features.

'Happy birthday, Adam! I hope you like it.'

The tone in the young boy's words practically dared his older brother not to. Adam couldn't help the surprise he felt as he shot his little brother a puzzled glance. Joe dropped back down in his seat next to Hoss, his self-assuredness that indeed his older brother would like the gift evident in the cocky, almost defiant smirk he again shot at his oldest brother.

Adam just rolled his eyes at his brother's expression and then turned his attention to the small box, his fingers hurrying to pull off the brown paper. His brow furrowed and his lips pinching together, he couldn't stop the obvious confusion he felt from spreading across his features as he realized what was in the box. It was certainly a strange choice of a gift on his little brother's part: of all the things he possibly could have thought Joe might give him, a box of ammunition certainly was not anything he ever would have thought of. Somewhat bewildered as to how the young boy actually managed to get his hands on such a present, Adam couldn't help the rather surprised glance that he shot up at his father. But his father remained unfazed, his unreadable expression not betraying any emotions he might be feeling at Joe's choice of gift.

Getting no help from his father, Adam turned his attention back to closer inspect his little brother's birthday present. He felt his heart sink a little as he made the disappointing discovery that they weren't even the right bullets for his gun. His little brother had gotten him a gift that he couldn't even use. He sighed inwardly at the realization that he would have to make a trip into town to return them. Suddenly remembering that a response was expected, and, not wanting to hurt his younger brother's feelings, Adam quickly shifted his eyes upward to meet his little brother's excited gaze.

'Gee, thanks Joe,' his smile felt a bit stiff, and he earnestly hoped that he was doing an adequate job of hiding the slight disappointment he could feel beginning to build in his chest. 'It's great…thanks.' He felt a small measure of relief as he watched Joe's face break again into the triumphant grin, his bright green eyes suddenly sparkling as if they held a secret.

'Okay, me next,' Hoss then broke in, his large hand pushing his little brother, who had jumped back up again from his chair, gently back into his seat. He leaned forward on his elbow and handed Adam a slightly bigger, somewhat better wrapped package. 'Happy birthday, big brother. Hope ya like it.'

Opening the box his younger brother had just given him, Adam couldn't help the surprised look that again crossed his face. The new holster and gun belt were quite fine, the workmanship remarkable, and it certainly was a thoughtful gesture. But he just couldn't help the rather forlorn stare as he looked at the grossly practical, totally unnecessary object staring back at him. He thought of the perfectly fine gun belt and holster lying on the credenza by the front door and sighed slightly. Another pang of disappointment welling over him, Adam struggled to find the right words to say when his attention was suddenly diverted by the sound of a muffled snicker.

Adam's eyes darted up quickly enough to see Joe trying to stifle another giggle in his hand, his elbow jutting again into Hoss's ribs as he nodded his head in Adam's direction. Suddenly suspicious, Adam stared intently at his little brother as Joe's face paled slightly as he realized Adam had noticed him, the smile quickly falling from the little boy's face as he tried to regain his composure. Joe's now-solemn face couldn't mask the emotions completely, his mischievous eyes still twinkling green fire, and Adam turned quickly to look at his other brother. Hoss's face, too, had sobered quickly and he sat there solemnly, keeping his gaze even with his older brother. The tentative smile Hoss gave his older brother only piqued Adam's curiosity further, and the resulting confused frown furrowed his brow again.

'Whaddya think?'

Hoss's rather nonchalant question only succeeded in leaving his older brother even more bewildered. Adam sat perplexed as he stared at his younger brothers; his mouth unable to form the words he wanted to say as his confused brain suddenly began to put pieces together. He took a deep breath and, glancing up at his father's still unreadable expression, he forced a small smile as he answered his brother.

'I shall wear it with pride,' his voice resounded brightly, a genuine smile starting to form on his face. He was rewarded with a toothy smile from Hoss as Joe tried to unsuccessfully choke back another snicker. Adam turned his eyes again to his father as Ben abruptly cleared his throat.

'I guess that leaves me.' The stoic mask that had been on his father's face suddenly melted away as he grinned broadly at Adam. He pulled a neatly wrapped box from under the table and pushed it towards his oldest son. 'Happy birthday, son.'

Adam's hands shook in excitement as he fumbled to pull the cover off of the box. He had already put all the pieces together, but even the knowledge of what he knew to already be in the box wasn't enough to prepare him for what he found. His breath caught in a gasp as his fingers moved to trace the beautiful Colt revolver that was tucked securely in the velvet-lined case.

'Oh, Pa…'

His words faded away as he sat in silent awe, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. Adam looked up quickly at his pa, and his father's eyes met his as his father just nodded his head. Adam let his fingers trace softly over the carved handgrip, feeling the smoothness of the rich wood inlaid with ivory as it glided smoothly under his fingertips. His smile broadened as he looked at the barrel of the gun, intricately engraved, complete with his initials centered perfectly amidst the delicate designs. It was certainly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Adam was unaware as to how long he had been sitting leaned back in his chair, just staring at the magnificent weapon in his hand, not believing it was actually his, when the sound of his brothers' laughter suddenly interrupted his thoughts. He felt slightly self-conscious as his eyes met the rather amused expressions displayed on their faces. His father was the first one to speak.

'I thought that maybe it was time for my son to have a gun he could be proud of. What do you think?'

Ben's eyes were misty as he looked proudly at his son. Adam felt himself blushing again as he nodded his approval, his eyes diverting back down to the gun in his hands. Ben cleared his throat again, and Adam lifted his eyes back up and saw the start of a smile tugging at the corners of his father's mouth.

'I told you before, son, the day is yours. What do you want to do with it?'

Ben's smile broadened further, and Joe couldn't stop another smirk from crossing his face as he poked Hoss in the ribs again and nodded his head at their older brother. Adam dropped his eyes back down again and mumbled his reply.

'Well, I think that maybe I'm going to try a little target practice with my new present. It seems like I've been given everything I need.'

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**Trust me. This chapter plays an important role later on in the story, I can assure you :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, this one is kind of short. But it was a good breaking place for the chapter, and, besides, you did get a 2-for-1 with me posting 2 chapters at the same time :)**

**This chapter takes place about two weeks after the prologue.**

**Enjoy!**

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Green. Flashes of light, interspersed in the darkness. The light had been bright only minutes before…where was the darkness coming from? More flashes of green, darker greens now as the light continued to fade rapidly. The flashes were all blurring together, shapeless forms shifting in front of his eyes…

Movement, the flashes were moving, faster and faster they kept flying past…or was it him that was moving? Not that he could feel himself moving. No, it must be him. He was most certainly running.

_I can't feel my feet moving… _

It was getting colder. His exertion should have kept him warm, panting, dripping with sweat even. Nothing seemed to be making any sense. His brain felt foggy, he couldn't clear his thoughts.

What happened to all the noise? How could it possibly be so quiet? At least there should have been some kind of roar as the flashes flew past, a gasp as the air swept through the shadows, something, anything. But no, it was only the silence getting louder, the air heavier and heavier as his lungs struggled to move, to pull in the breath he needed so desperately.

Darker…it keeps getting darker…the light all but gone now, shadows swirling in closer and closer.

_Pa…where…where are you?_

Alone now. Why, Pa? Where did you go? His brain struggled to think. He'd been right here just a moment ago…so close, his face…he'd been smiling…it must be some sort of joke. That's it, that's what it is…

_Pa…help me, help me please…I can't breathe…_

He was still running…but was he running towards something, or away from it? A wave of coldness suddenly engulfed him, the shock forcing even more breath from his body. He opened his mouth wider to swallow more air, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as his chest burned from the lack of oxygen.

_It's so cold now…I'm…I'm all alone…_

He suddenly tripped and lunged forward, he found himself lying on his back, staring up at the darkness that was swallowing the shapeless forms and remaining green flashes. The cold hit him again, wave upon wave that left him shaking, his breathing labored as he tried desperately to hold back the tears that now threatened.

His vision cleared for just an instant, enough to see the dim outline of what looked like a shack in the background. Panic seized him as a sense of foreboding came upon him, and he frantically tried to pull himself towards the building.

The darkness was on top of him now, threatening to crush him, the weight of the utter blackness unbearable.

_Alone, so alone…_

He pulled himself to the threshold of the tiny building, he was almost there. A tiny burst of hope surged through his chest…almost there…almost there…

He felt his heart suddenly stop at the sound…starting as a low rumble, the manic laugh growing louder and louder, almost drowning out the noise of the silence pounding in his ears. He jerked away frantically, trying to pull away from the sound, but it was as if his body refused to function.

_Help…help, please…_

He pushed the door of the shack open…there was light in there, it was warm. Safe. He would be safe once he got inside…he just knew it. Just a little further…

The hand coiled around his leg, jerking him backwards away from the light. He vainly struggled, the icy fingers refusing to yield, dragging him away, away from the light, away from where it was safe. He tried to fight, but it was as if his body was no longer his own to control. The laughter, always growing louder, dragging him away from everything. He was alone.

_No…please…_

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His body involuntarily shuddered, and the movement snapped young Joe Cartwright instantly awake as the remnants of the nightmare faded into consciousness. His heart hammering in his throat, he pushed himself to a sitting position as he peered anxiously at his surroundings.

It was still too dark in his room for him to make out any discernable shapes, and the young boy whimpered softly as another tremor recoiled through his protesting body. He pushed a hand to his mouth to stifle the noise, the quivering in his limbs subsiding a little as he clutched the blanket to his chest tightly. The rush of adrenaline quickly fading, he slowly lowered his hand from his mouth and sucked in a deep breath of air as he waited.

A full minute slowly passed and Joe finally released the breath he'd been holding as he made the realization that no one had heard him cry out. An audible sigh of relief escaped from his lips as his heart rate slowly returned to normal. It wouldn't have been good to wake the house up again.

Joe continued to clutch the blanket tightly to his chest as he allowed his body to drop back down against his pillows. His eyes darted back and forth in the dark room, straining to make out any shapes in the darkness but failing to see anything as the first rays of morning light were still hours away. He let out another small sigh of frustration, knowing that, no matter how tired he still was, he wasn't going to be getting any more sleep on this night.

His exhausted mind went about the motions of trying to remember the 'dream', regardless of the futility of the gesture. It was completely pointless for him to try to force memories of the nightmares that had been plaguing him; he'd been having them practically every night for over a month now, the results of trying to remember them always being the same. It was as if all recollection of what had happened in his unconscious had been sucked into some giant void, lost in some realm that his conscious mind was unable to reach. He couldn't even find a measure of relief in the fact that the dreams were at the very least consistent: always waking him up in the dead of night, always leaving his mind a complete blank when he tried to remember them, and always rendering sleep elusive for the rest of the night.

Not that the energetic ten year old was a stranger to bad dreams; shivers of fear would still run down his spine when he thought about all the nightmares he'd had in the months after his mama had died. Then the ones that had come after his oldest brother Adam had gone away to college. Haunting dreams, always similar in content, still so vividly burned into his memory. All preying on his worst fear—his being utterly alone, desperately searching for his family, success in finding them always eluding him. Yes, at both times in his life the dreams had been the same, but, each time, they had gradually diminished in frequency and had finally stopped altogether.

These nightmares were different though. Haunting, yes, in their ability to keep him awake at all hours of the night; frightening too in the loneliness he felt as he struggled to cope with them on his own. But that had been where the similarities stopped. He wasn't exactly sure why he felt so, but something told him that these 'dreams' were worse. While he hadn't the slightest memory of the subject matter of the nightmares once he awoke, he almost felt as if they were growing worse in frequency and intensity as each sleep-interrupted night passed. The chilling thought only served to increase the fear that was beginning to consume him, making him feel very vulnerable even as he lay in his bed. But for as much as he wanted to run to his father and cry out all his fears, he had kept it pretty much to himself—after all, he was too old now to be afraid of bad dreams.

It had been different after his mama had died. He'd only been five years old then, and everybody had expected for him to have nightmares. At that time, it had been oldest brother Adam who had provided the comfort: his then-teenage brother would hold the sobbing child tightly each night, surrounding Joe with such a feeling of complete safety, a feeling that he rather longed for right now. And, a year later after Adam had gone away, it had fallen to older brother Hoss to provide the hugs and words of comfort that the young child had needed. They had always talked out the nightmares, Hoss sympathetically explaining to the small child with never-ending patience that all would eventually be alright, holding him tightly until the shaking had stopped. But now he was ten years old, too old for all that hugging and stuff, and, besides, he couldn't remember what the dreams were about anyway.

That first night when this current series of nightmares had begun, after he'd been jolted from his sleep, his memory blank, he'd gone to his older brother. Adam had smiled at him and asked him what was wrong; Joe blushed slightly at the memory as he remembered how his brother had let him share his bed, just as he had done all those years ago when he'd been a little boy. It had made him feel better, and he had actually been able to go back to sleep that night. But the nightmares kept coming back relentlessly, and Joe was much too proud to beg his brother's attention every night.

So, here he was yet again, resolute in his decision to handle this on his own. Joe quickly threw the covers over his head as he tried to stop from thinking about it anymore. But he couldn't stop the shudder of fear that suddenly shook his small body, and a single tear escaped down his cheek as one thought suddenly materialized and kept echoing over and over again in his head.

_Alone…you're all alone now_.

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**Awww, poor Little Joe. So, what do you think so far?**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Life happened. I could make a ton of excuses as to why I haven't updated sooner, but I'm just going to leave it at that. The good news in all of this is that there is a light beginning to appear at the end of the tunnel, and hopefully things should be back to some semblance of normal within the next couple of weeks. It might be a little while before I update again, but rest assured, I fully intend to finish what I've started. I hope you'll all stay with me!**

**To all who have left me a comment or review, thank you. They are extremely encouraging. Please continue to let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy!**

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Adam stifled a yawn as he made his way from his room to the top of the stairs, a small smile breaking out on his face at the silence that greeted him. The first rays of sunlight had barely begun to creep across the floorboards of the sleeping house, and he relished the quiet moments of solitude that seemed to stealthily disappear as soon as the house's occupants began stirring.

It had always been his favorite time of the day; a time where practical and necessary thoughts and plans could be pushed aside for the more impractical. It was the only time during the day that the responsible, sensible young man let his mind wander afar. His thoughts would travel all over the place-hopes and dreams for the future, remembrances of good times past; he always found this quiet time to be his opportunity to get his thoughts together for the day ahead.

His father would often join him, Adam taking after Ben Cartwright in being an early riser. In fact, all of the Cartwright men, with the exception of one young man in particular, were known to take turns being the first to rise in the morning. Adam couldn't stop his smile at the thought of his youngest brother, Joe never being too eager for the day to begin. He could just picture Joe now, his little brother protesting quite loudly at his somewhat forced removal from his bed. The thought caused Adam to cringe with a slight wave of sympathy for his younger brother Hoss. More often than not, the pleasant task of rousing their younger brother from his bed at a respectable hour invariably fell to the good-natured teenager, Hoss's patience and gentle touch with his little brother far outlasting that of his older brother or father.

Adam rubbed the rest of the sleep from his eyes as he made his way slowly down the stairs, and crossing the front room he opened the door, stepping out onto the porch. He stood silently as he couldn't help admiring the sun slowly rising, the faint light reflecting off of the misty fog that was still clinging to the peaks of the hills in the distance. His mind began to wander aimlessly on the tasks of the day, a contented sigh escaping his throat as he breathed deeply in the beauty of the morning.

It didn't take long for his thoughts to be interrupted, a curious noise suddenly catching his attention. Adam listened intently for a moment, the barely audible, slightly repetitive sound echoing through the still barn yard, and noticing for the first time the open barn door, he made the realization that he hadn't been the first to rise after all. His growing curiosity getting the better of him, he made quick strides across the yard, slowing his stride just a little as he entered the dimly lit barn.

'Joe!'

He couldn't help the slight shock in his voice as he discovered just who was busily working at mucking out stalls so early in the morning. While there were many mornings that Adam had grumbled about how he wished his youngest brother would get an earlier start to his morning chores, the actual sight of him doing just that was a rather surprising one. Adam frowned slightly as he watched his younger brother, Joe continuing his work almost as if he hadn't even heard his brother's voice.

The out of character behavior his little brother was exhibiting was disconcerting enough, and the slight unease that had crept into Adam's stomach only grew as his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the barn and he could clearly see his surroundings. It was plain to see that something was going on. The amount of work done, in addition to the fact that the person who had been doing it was of a rather small stature, led Adam to the slightly alarming conclusion that his little brother had been at the task for quite some time, perhaps hours before he or anyone else had even awakened. He forced himself to swallow his mounting concern and found his voice again, working hard to keep his tone soft.

'Joe? What are you doing, buddy? Everything okay?'

Joe had inwardly cringed when he'd first heard his brother's voice; it had been a somewhat vain hope, he now realized, that his actions wouldn't be discovered. He sighed inwardly at the realization, knowing an explanation for his early appearance in the barn was now going to be necessary and, in all honesty, he just wasn't feeling like dealing with the situation.

He was tired. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep, as was becoming quite usual after a nightmare, and he had grown restless. Joe had felt as if he would go crazy just lying in his bed, trying to remember something that stubbornly resolved to remain hidden. So he'd made his move the moment he'd been able to see that the darkness was beginning to fade into daylight. Hoping that doing something, anything would get his mind off of the nameless thoughts that relentlessly plagued him, he'd snuck out of the house as quietly as he could to go to the barn. While the activity was tiring, he had found the repetitive motion required by the barn work slightly comforting. Steeling himself for the inevitable questions to come, he did his best to appear nonchalant, and turning his eyes to his older brother he finally acknowledged him in a quiet voice.

'Morning, Adam. Everythin's fine. Just thought I'd start my chores, that's all…'

Adam narrowed his eyes slightly, his gaze falling over the young boy critically. Joe felt the heat on his face as he blushed slightly, his eyes lowering back down to the barn floor at the intensity of his older brother's scrutinizing stare. The little boy bit his lip as he waited miserably for his older brother's response.

'It's awfully early.'

He tried to keep his tone light, but Adam was far from convinced that everything was as fine as his little brother was trying to make it appear. Adam couldn't help noticing how his brother had visibly tensed when he'd first called out to him, and when Joe had turned around to face his older brother, Adam hadn't missed seeing the paleness of his brother's skin and the dark smudges under his eyes that indicated a lack of sleep. He took a deep breath as he decided to try another approach, getting right to the heart of the matter at hand.

'Sleep alright?'

'Fine.'

The one word response was decidedly unconvincing, and Adam frowned again as Joe turned his back to him and continued with his chores. As much as he suddenly felt like shaking a more truthful response out of his little brother, Adam knew that pushing the boy too hard was not the answer. So he just stood patiently, waiting for his brother to continue. Joe didn't keep him waiting for very long, the words almost tripping over themselves as they came from the younger boy's mouth.

'Like I told ya, I just thought I'd get started on my chores. Mebbe I'll start getting up early from now on.' Joe stopped his work again and turned to face his brother, a ghost of a smile thrown in his older brother's direction. 'It's kinda nice.'

His heart quickened at the ridiculousness of his brother's response, and Adam bit his lip to keep from verbalizing out loud the retort that was on the tip of his tongue. All he could do was shake his head as Joe turned away again, back to his chores, a signal his older brother took to mean that the younger boy had nothing more to say. More concerned that there was something seriously wrong with his little brother than ever before, Adam rather reluctantly decided to let the matter drop for the moment. After another moment of awkward silence as he intently watched his little brother work, Adam turned around and slowly made his way back to the house.

Joe had just kept to his work, holding his breath as he felt the crushing weight of his brother's stare on his back. The pressure from his brother's scrutiny seemed to melt away when Adam's eyes finally turned away, and he released a relieved breath as his older brother's footsteps faded into the morning. He sighed wearily and rubbed the back of his hand across his suddenly damp eyes.

A part of him wished he had just told his brother what was wrong, but how could he tell Adam what was wrong when he didn't even know himself? Joe felt himself growing angry at his own weakness and he channeled the anger, pushing himself to work even faster. His breath caught in his throat as the tiny voice began repeating the words in his head again, and he couldn't help the slight shudder of terror it stirred in his heart.

_You can't tell him…you're all alone now…_

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'Pa, I think there is something really wrong with Joe.' Adam couldn't keep the concern out of his voice as he looked at his father solemnly. 'He was working in the barn at least an hour before sunup.' He spoke with urgency in his voice. 'He even told me he thought it was kind of nice to be up so early and that he was thinking of doing it more often.'

Ben had been relaxing with a cup of coffee when his oldest son had found him, and suddenly he found himself sputtering on the hot liquid, trying to choke back the laugh that had caught in his throat at the absurdness of Adam's words. Trying to control the grin that was spreading across his face, he lifted twinkling eyes to meet his son's face, expecting the punch line of the joke to come at any moment. The smile fell from his face, however, when he took in the quiet seriousness covering Adam's features. He felt his own worry beginning as he took in the deep concern in Adam's brown eyes, and his own eyes darkened, his head nodding slowly as he considered the words thoughtfully.

'I don't think he's sleeping, either,' Adam continued hastily, seeing by the marked change in Ben's facial expression that he now had his father's full attention. 'He's real pale and he had dark circles under his eyes.'

Ben set down his coffee cup and sighed heavily, the words only validating more the knot of concern he could feel beginning to form in his stomach. Joe had always been the most impressionable of his three sons, overly emotional and with a very vivid imagination. Throughout his short life Ben's youngest had been almost continuously tormented by horrible nightmares that had affected his sleep.

He couldn't help being slightly puzzled about the current situation, however. It had been several years since the last bout of sleepless nights had plagued his son. The thought that the nightmares could be starting again, after so much time had passed, was a disturbing one to the now-worried father. The adoring patriarch also couldn't stop the sudden twinge of guilt he felt at not noticing sooner that his youngest seemed to be again having the problems with the nightmares. Adam, perceptive as always, was quick to read the look in his father's eyes and rushed to reassure him.

'Pa…you couldn't…how would you have…' his words trailed off as his father looked at him gratefully, nodding his head in understanding as he recognized his son's efforts to console him. The relieved smile Adam felt quickly faded as a new thought suddenly struck him, and he sucked in his breath sharply.

'What is it, Adam?' Ben frowned slightly at the suddenly troubled look that appeared on his son's face.

'I just remembered something,' Adam said slowly, his own feelings of guilt starting to churn in his stomach. He swallowed hard before he spoke again. 'About a month ago, Joe came to my room. He'd had a nightmare…and…'

'And, what?'

'He couldn't remember it.' Adam shuddered again at the memory of the haunted look in his little brother's eyes. 'He stayed with me…and he went to sleep…I thought it was just a one time thing, that he was okay. Maybe I should have talked to him about it again.' He shook his head, suddenly disgusted with himself for his inattention to his brother's apparent suffering. He looked at his father imploringly. 'Oh, Pa, do you think I missed something?'

Ben looked at the despair welling up in his son's eyes and shook his head. Adam had always taken his responsibility as oldest, as protector, very seriously. It had always been an extreme reaction; his oldest son often left reeling from the waves of unjustified guilt he burdened himself with. Even still, regardless of how critical the young man was now being of himself, Ben couldn't stop the small swelling of pride he felt as he watched the struggle of emotions on Adam's face. It was obvious how much his sons loved each other, and the thought warmed his heart.

'I think you did at the time all you could possibly do for your brother,' he consoled gently, hoping his words brought his son the reassurance he needed. He was going to say more when he was suddenly interrupted by the slamming of the front door, the loud bang resonating through the quiet house.

Ben turned quickly enough to see his youngest son crossing the front room practically in a run, almost blindly hurrying to the stairs. He watched silently as Joe rushed up the stairs, pushing past Hoss as the teenager was making his way down the stairwell. Hoss's pale eyes widened in surprise at the sight of his younger brother plowing straight in his direction, and he nimbly moved his large frame aside to avoid the collision.

'Hey Shortshanks, watch it!' he called somewhat good-naturedly to the smaller boy's retreating back as Joe finished charging up the stairs to his room, the door to his room also slamming shut behind him. Hoss turned and looked at his older brother and father with a puzzled frown.

'What was that all about?'

Ben didn't answer as he continued to stare at the empty stairwell, his heart sinking as a slight feeling of dread came over him. He'd caught a glance of his son's pale skin and dark eyes, and he didn't like what he saw. Turning back to his oldest, Ben nodded his head at Adam, letting the young man know that he now understood completely what had caused the older brother such concern. There definitely was something wrong with his youngest child, and it pained him that he had no idea what it was.

'What's goin' on?' Hoss demanded again, his brow creasing into a scowl as he took in the concerned looks on his father's and brother's faces. Something about the way they were staring at the stairs set the gentle teenager on edge. 'Is Shortshanks okay?'

'I think Joe's having nightmares again,' Adam whispered to his brother, and Hoss's eyes widened in response. Hoss shook his head slowly, and his tone was mournful when he finally spoke.

'Pa, what we gonna do?'

Adam could hear the troubled tone in Hoss's voice, but not having an answer to give, he just lifted his eyes to look at his brother, shaking his head sadly. Their past experience with the problem brought troubled thoughts, and they all had the nagging feeling that whatever was going on, the resolution to the problem wasn't going to be easy.

It was their father who finally spoke, Ben's voice suddenly sounding old and tired as he tried to reassure his sons. It almost sounded to Adam like his father was trying to reassure himself too.

'Well, to start, today we're going to take a day off. We need some supplies in town, so we'll all go.' He forced a smile at his boys, both now sitting at the dining room table. 'It's been a long time since we've taken it easy, and maybe having a little fun today will do the trick.'

The two brothers shot worried glances at each other, and then brought their eyes back to the pinched smile on their father's face. It was apparent. Not one of them found the words convincing.

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It had been a rather uneventful ride into town. Joe had sulked most of the way there, cranky at the indignity he felt he was suffering as a result of his father making him ride in the wagon as opposed to riding his horse. Ben kept shooting glances down at the small boy who sat rigidly next to him, finding himself getting slightly annoyed at the prominent pout on the child's face. Adam and Hoss, mounted but riding closely beside the wagon, had early on in the trip attempted, with idle chatter, to draw their younger brother out of his stony silence. But it hadn't taken long for the icy glares being shot at them from the cold emerald eyes to render them tongue-tied; dooming the rest of the trip to uncomfortable silence.

It was with a slight sense of relief that Ben finally drove the wagon towards the first buildings lining the busy street of the town. 'Whoa,' his calm voice called to the horses as he pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the general store.

He stepped down into the dusty street and sighed again as his eyes turned to his youngest son, Joe still sitting motionless in the wagon, his eyes dark and a scowl on his face. Shaking his head, Ben turned and looked up at his other sons, Adam and Hoss still sitting in their saddles.

'Adam, Hoss, I want you to go on down to the feed store and order what we need,' Ben said quickly. 'Joseph and I will finish up here and meet you shortly.' The two older boys merely nodded and turned their horses down the busy street.

'Come along, Joseph,' Ben turned his attention back to his youngest son, who was still stubbornly sitting in the wagon. He sighed impatiently at the scowl that still lingered on his son's face. Joe's expression visibly changed when his father suddenly glared sharply at him.

Joe jumped down from the wagon, staring at his feet glumly as he moved towards the steps of the general store. He was tired, frustrated, and even his father's earlier promise of some candy hadn't made his mood any better. Not lifting his eyes from where they stared down at his feet, he'd only made it up one step when a large object suddenly barreled into him, the jostle pushing him backwards. Stumbling, tripping over his feet, Joe just managed to catch himself before he fell, leaning heavily into the side of the wagon. The anger he'd been feeling just under the surface for the whole day suddenly welling up explosively, his bright green eyes flashed fire as they darted up to see just what had run into him.

He wasn't sure what happened. It was rather warm all of a sudden, and he felt his breath catch in his throat as he suddenly gasped out loud. Nothing seemed to make any sense; it was almost as if he was suddenly in another world. His eyes widening in shock, he could feel the blood drain from his face as his head suddenly felt dizzy, cloudy, the voice that had suddenly started speaking to him growing fainter by the second.

'Sorry, sonny. Guess I didn't see you…say kid, you alright?'

Ben could only watch in shocked amazement as his son gave a weak cry and fell to his knees in the dusty street.

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**I know, I know, no questions have been answered yet, sorry. There's a lot more to come! I'm trying to decide between writing shorter or longer chapters and I would love to hear any suggestions! Thanks, as always, for reading :)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: It certainly has been a while. I'm happy to say that life has settled back down, allowing me more time to work on this. I will admit, however, that I have been very distracted lately—I've discovered NCIS fanfiction and totally love it, and I've spent more than my share of time reading all of the great stuff over there. That being said, I've made a resolution to work on my writing some each day, which should mean more frequent updates. :)**

**Longer chapters win, thanks to those who left me an opinion. I'm glad, because that is what I am most comfortable with anyway.**

**To all who have left me a review or are following this story, you are the best. Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means a lot.**

**Anyway, on with the story. More questions to be answered as we make some new acquaintances. Please, as always, I would love to hear what you think! Thanks!**

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'Adam? Adam Cartwright? Is that you?'

Adam stopped abruptly and just managed to stay on his feet when Hoss, following right behind, crashed into him. The voice was strangely familiar, and it pulled Adam from the troubled thoughts that had been plaguing him since his pre-sunrise trip to the barn. He raised his eyes to meet those of his brother, Hoss still standing beside him and, shrugging his shoulders at the noncommittal response he got from the teenager, he turned back around to the direction of the voice. The worries of the day momentarily forgotten, a smile crossed his face as recognition hit him.

'Well, it certainly has been a long time,' the voice laughed good-naturedly, one hand clamping firmly on Adam's shoulder as another reached to grasp his hand in a firm handshake. 'Adam Cartwright, it sure is good to see you. What have you been up to for the last five years?'

'The same could be asked of you,' Adam smiled ruefully, pumping the hand in his grip. 'Josh, Josh Andrews, how are you?'

The lanky young man grinned wickedly at Adam, his brown eyes twinkling as he just shook his head in response. Adam couldn't help the feeling of surprise, and the slight shock, at seeing his childhood friend standing in front of him. Josh Andrews was two years older than Adam and the two, with similar interests and mannerisms in everything from the books they read to the horses they rode, had been practically inseparable since they'd met all those years ago when the Cartwrights had first arrived to the area.

It had been a hard thing for the sixteen year old to accept when his best friend had abruptly left his home, heading west for some so-called adventure in the California gold mines. Without so much as a goodbye, the only thing left for Adam in the wake of his friend's leaving had been feelings of hurt and anger. Ironically, life gave him a reason not to dwell too long on the loss. Adam shivered involuntarily at the memory of what had happened: it had only been a few days later when tragedy had befallen his family, Marie Cartwright having had her fatal accident. Dealing with the aftermath of his stepmother's death, all thoughts of his friend's sudden departure had been thrown from his mind, and he could honestly say he hadn't even thought on his lost friendship again in the years since.

'Well, I'm just visiting,' Josh chuckled, his eyes narrowing slightly as he noticed the sudden darkness in his friend's eyes. 'I came to see how my parents are doing. What about you?' He quirked a raised eyebrow in Adam's direction, his voice still light with his good-natured teasing. 'Last I remember, you were going to go off to college someday. Well, did you ever get there?'

'Yeah, I did,' Adam smiled again, as Hoss, who had been standing by silently watching the entire exchange, suddenly cleared his throat. Adam turned his attention back to his brother, the worry in the pale eyes bringing his own temporarily forgotten anxiety back to the forefront.

'I'm gonna head back to the general store,' Hoss whispered, nodding his head in the direction of the store. He turned quickly, without waiting for a reply, and Adam felt slightly guilty as he watched his younger brother hurry off.

'Something wrong?' Josh asked lazily, his eyes widening slightly with curiosity as Adam turned back around to face his old friend.

Adam just shook his head, trying to force a smile to his face. He tried to push aside the worry that was building back, but he found it impossible to do as he understood Hoss's anxious need to get back to the general store. The two brothers had waited impatiently, having been finished with their business at the feed store for over an hour, and their father and brother had never arrived to meet them. An anxious sigh escaping his lips, Adam turned and glanced back over his shoulder in the direction Hoss had gone, not answering the question his friend had queried.

'Something I said then?' Josh didn't drop the issue, instead giving Adam a funny look as he continued teasing at him.

He couldn't help but relax slightly at his friend's gentle teasing, and Adam smiled again in Josh's direction. Something in the way his friend was watching him made him feel as if some kind of explanation was in order. 'No, it's just…my younger brother has been having trouble sleeping lately. We're just worried about him, that's all.'

Josh just nodded his head, the immediate understanding of the problem showing on his features. It had never been a secret to him how his friend had always been overly protective of his little brother. 'Oh,' he said, 'I'm guessing you mean Joe. What's he, like ten now? He was just a tiny runt when I saw him last. He's okay, right?'

'Yeah, yeah,' Adam hurried to respond, again feeling the familiar guilt as he thought about what had happened with his brother earlier in the day. 'He's grown up quite a bit since the last time you saw him…' His words drifted off at the thoughts of his little brother, and a soft smile crossed his face.

'That's good,' Josh murmured, mumbling his agreement. Adam was surprised at the sudden change of subject as Josh continued. 'So you were telling me about college. You actually got there, huh? If you don't mind me asking, how come you are back here? I mean, didn't you want to study architecture or something?' Josh's sly smile was almost arrogant, daring Adam to disagree. 'There aren't exactly a lot of jobs out here.'

'You'd be surprised,' Adam felt himself stiffen, the words suddenly making him angry. While he was generally level-headed and calm, it had always bothered him when his decisions were questioned. He looked at his friend sternly as he forced his next words out. 'Sometimes there are things that are more important than jobs, than money, you know?'

'Hey Adam…sorry, I didn't mean anything by that,' Josh replied hastily, flashing an innocent smile at his friend in hopes of relaxing the suddenly tense situation. 'I'm sure you have your reasons.'

'I did.' Adam tried to shake off his anger and turned his eyes back to his friend, giving him a hard smile. He was just about to say something else when running steps suddenly echoed behind him, the anxious voice calling him urgently.

'Adam, Adam!' Hoss called breathlessly, pulling up next to his brother and stopping for a moment to catch his breath. Adam stared at his gasping brother, his eyes wide with concern when he heard Hoss's next anxious words.

'It's Joe,' Hoss gasped, pulling at Adam's arm to get him to move. His pale eyes were wide with a fear that made Adam shudder. 'Pa said to come quick!'

'What…what…' the stuttered words died in Adam's throat, and he felt frozen as Hoss was pulling at his arm. It was Josh who suddenly broke the spell that held him, giving Adam a sharp push forward.

'You better go, Cartwright,' he admonished, his concerned eyes taking in the pale faces of his friend and his friend's younger brother. 'It sounds like your brother needs you. Go, I'm going to be in town for a while. I'll see you soon, alright?'

Adam dazedly nodded at his friend, his stomach churning with the fear that was starting to flood through his body. He shook Hoss's hand off of his arm and turned to run down the street, Hoss following quickly behind him. Images of his little brother began to flood his mind.

What possibly could have happened?

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Ben had only been able to stand in shocked amazement as he watched his youngest son stumble back against the wagon, the boy's face contorted as if he was in pain. Unable to move he could only stare mutely as his little boy fell to his knees in the dirt. It was the stranger moving forward to grab the young boy up from the ground that brought him back to his senses, and as his body suddenly was able to move again, Ben pushed the stranger away and swept the small boy into his arms.

'Joseph!' He could hear the tremble in his own voice, his son's name coming from his throat as a plea, begging the small child to be alright. 'Joseph, open your eyes! Joseph, look at me!'

He felt himself breathe again as the emerald eyes struggled open, the ashen face tinged with a slight return of color. Joe moaned softly as full consciousness returned, and suddenly as he remembered what had happened, his eyes jerked open, his body trembling violently against his father's broad chest.

'Joseph,' Ben begged, worry and relief both struggling in his voice as he crushed the small boy in his embrace. 'Son, look at me.' His eyes scanned the scared face of his little boy, alarmed at the violent trembling of the child. His hand cupped his son's chin and held it as he tried to get his son to focus his eyes in his direction. 'What is it? Can you tell me, son? What happened?'

The little boy didn't speak, only continued to gasp as he tried to regulate his breathing. His eyes darted around frantically, and his body froze when the green orbs suddenly locked and focused on the stranger still standing nearby. Ben noticed the tenseness in his son's body, and he turned his head to look back at the stranger as Joe buried his face in his father's chest.

Ben eyed the stranger warily, taking note of the stranger's graying hair and concerned eyes. He felt uneasy as the man continued to stare at his young son, and his embrace around the boy tightened instinctively.

'Is he alright?'

The gruff voice compelling Ben into movement, he balanced Joe's weight in his arms as he pushed to his feet, cradling his young son to his chest. Not paying attention to the stranger's question or the small crowd that was now forming around them, he started to walk rapidly towards the doctor's office across the street.

'P…pa?' The small boy in Ben's arms finally spoke, his stutter echoing in Ben's ears as he pushed himself to walk faster. Looking down at his little boy, Ben felt a small sense of relief as he noticed the bright green eyes focusing a little. Ben smiled at the confused look in the boy's eyes as he pushed the door to the doctor's office open with his shoulder.

'Paul!' Ben's gruff voice called to his old friend urgently, and the good doctor came quickly from his back office, his eyes assessing the situation in front of him. The small boy had gone limp in his father's arms, the green eyes closed again. Seeing the need for urgency, the doctor moved to the center of the room, gesturing for Ben to lay the young boy on the examining table.

'Ben, what happened here?'

Paul Martin was one of Ben's oldest friends, and he could see the deep concern on the anxious father's face as he laid his young son gently down on the examining table. Hoping to calm both the distraught father and the obviously distressed child who was now his patient, Paul put a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder as he pushed him to a seat in the chair sitting next to the door.

'I…I don't know,' Ben muttered, rubbing his hand across his eyes as he continued to stare at his young son. 'He…he just collapsed in the middle of the street. It was like he was terrified of something, but I'm not sure...'

Paul nodded his head and turned his attention to the small boy. Paul was no stranger to the young man in question, Joseph Cartwright being a rather frequent recipient of his doctoring skills through the course of his short life. He noted how the small boy was still trembling, the tears trickling from his still-closed eyes making paths down his cheeks. He frowned at the paleness of the boy's skin, and the sheen of sweat that seemed to cling to Joe's clammy forehead. He lightly brushed his hand across the boy's face, the movement causing Joe to whimper slightly at the touch.

'Shh, Joseph, it is alright,' the doctor hurried to reassure the young boy, and Joe relaxed slightly as he responded to the familiar voice. The bright green eyes opened again, and the doctor felt a small wave of relief as he noted the clarity he could see in the expressive eyes. He gave the small boy a tentative smile. 'Can you tell me how you are feeling?'

Joe tensed again as he fully realized where he was, and his eyes darted around until they focused on his father. Ben had stood up again and crossed the room to stand next to the table, and he reached out his hand to softly brush through his son's hair. Ben's eyes locked on his son's face, and he nodded encouragingly to his son to answer the doctor. Joe took a deep breath.

'My…my head hurts a little,' the young boy whimpered, and Paul moved quickly to his cabinet and retrieved an amber bottle. Spooning a tiny bit of the white powder into a glass, he poured in some water and, mixing thoroughly, he handed it to his patient. Joe took the glass reluctantly, and Ben couldn't help the small smile at the grimace on his son's face as his little boy swallowed the bitter concoction.

'Any other symptoms that you need to tell me about?' The doctor asked somewhat sternly, bending to peer into his young patient's eyes. He hadn't forgotten that Joe was not always his most forthcoming patient. Paul's frown grew deeper as he took in the dark circles and tense lines on the boy's face.

'He looks exhausted,' Paul frowned in Ben's direction when his patient didn't answer, and the small sigh that came from the young boy only deepened the doctor's concerned expression. Turning back to face Joe, Paul gave him a fatherly stare and the boy's eyes dropped down to the floor.

'I think he's having nightmares again,' Ben supplied, and Paul sighed as he noticed the faint blush creeping up the young boy's neck.

'Is that true, Joe?' The doctor's stern voice left no room for discussion, and Joe only nodded slightly in defeat. 'You haven't been sleeping, have you?'

'N…no, sir,' the small boy stuttered glumly, not looking up from staring at the hands that he had clasped in his lap. Paul took pity on the small boy and his next words did not show the slight frustration he was feeling at the boy's reluctance to share.

'How long has it been, Joe?'

The words were kind, and Joe lifted hesitant eyes up to meet the doctor. He tensed again as he saw the concern visibly evident on his father's face, and his eyes dropped back down to the floor. Seeing his son's reluctance to speak, Ben put a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder.

'Joseph, it's alright,' Ben murmured, his concern for what was troubling his son greater than the frustration he felt at the boy keeping the secret from him. 'Please, tell us. When did the nightmares start?'

Joe gulped and looked into his father's warm, caring eyes. The fear that had been building in the past month suddenly overtaking him, his eyes filled with tears as he gasped the words out.

'About…about a month.'

The admission cut into Ben's heart like a knife. His own eyes filled with tears as he moved to comfort his now sobbing son. Guilt began to eat away at him as he realized his son had been suffering alone for the whole time, and his arms tightened around the crying child.

'Oh, Joseph,' his voice was strained as his thoughts ran wild. 'Why didn't you say something?'

Joe looked up at him with haunted eyes, and the sight caused Ben to shiver. The little boy looked lost, and he moved to bury his face in his father's shirt, unable to answer except to slightly shake his head. Ben lifted pained eyes to meet the doctor's, Paul frowning as he moved back to the medicine cabinet.

'I want you to drink this, Joe,' the doctor said firmly, handing the boy another glass. At Ben's questioning glance, Paul hurried to continue. 'It is something to help him sleep. This young man is visibly exhausted, he needs to get some rest.' Paul looked sternly at the hesitant patient in front of him. 'Drink it, Joe.' The young boy reluctantly swallowed another glass of bitter liquid.

The doctor continued his explanation, his attention completely focused now on Ben. 'I want you to take Joe home immediately and get him to bed. It is obvious to me that he hasn't slept, at least decently, in days. His body is fighting just to function, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is what caused him to collapse in the street.'

Paul's words softened slightly as he took in the guilty look on his friend's face, and he hurried to reassure him. 'He'll be alright, as long as he gets proper rest. I'll give you some powders to give him to take for the next few nights, they should help him sleep.' He smiled slightly as he watched his young patient yawn, already Joe's eyes heavy as the medication rapidly began to work.

Ben stood protectively behind Joe, tightening his arms around his young son. His voice was thick with emotion as he spoke the words his friend had clearly seen mulling through his mind. 'I should have seen this sooner…'

'Ben,' Paul admonished, slightly frustrated at the guilt he could still see lingering in his friend's eyes. 'He will be alright, with proper rest.' His face quirked into a small smile as he continued, shaking his head lightly at Ben. 'Knowing Joe, I'm sure he worked hard to hide what was going on, and it seems to have worked pretty well.' The smile faded back to seriousness. 'Do you have any possible idea as to what the nightmares are about? '

The doctor was no stranger to the nightmares that had periodically plagued the young Cartwright, having treated the aftermath of the dreams not only when the child's mother had died, but also when his older brother had gone away to college. He frowned as the small boy shuddered again, his fear still evident even as sleep pulled him away. Ben only shook his head as he cradled his son's head against his shoulder.

'No,' Ben sighed brokenly, wishing he could somehow take away the pain his son was feeling. 'Adam told me that about a month ago, Joe came to him with a nightmare, but that's all I know. Paul, what do you think could be causing this?' His eyes searched his friend's face for an answer. 'All the other times, there was something that triggered them. Nothing has happened. Everything seemed fine.'

'The unconscious mind is very impressionable,' Paul explained. 'He's had several traumatic events in the past that have caused him to have these nightmares. It is possible that the current nightmares are a result of one of his previous episodes, something he isn't even aware is happening.'

'Is there anything we can do?' Ben's face showed his obvious anguish at the thought of his son's continued pain.

'Try to get him to talk about it, see if you can get him to remember something,' Paul suggested softly, watching his friend's eyes as they darted across his sleeping son's face. 'Keep an eye on him, make sure that he takes the powders and gets plenty of rest. Chances are, the nightmares will diminish once he is properly rested.' He continued as he saw the uncertainty on his friend's face. 'I will come out to check on him later in the week. If anything happens before then, just send for me. And Ben…'

'Yes, Paul?'

The doctor smiled at his friend. 'He'll be okay. But for now, you really should get him home.'

Ben nodded and reached down to lift his sleeping son into his arms. He paused at the sound of hurried footsteps on the porch, and he turned around quickly as the door opened.

'Pa!' Hoss's pale eyes were wide in alarm as he took in the sight of his unconscious brother lying on the examining table. 'What happened? Is Shortshanks okay?!'

'Your brother is exhausted,' Ben sighed, hoping he could reassure himself as he said the words aloud. 'He fell when we were outside the store. I just had Dr. Martin checking to make sure he is alright.' Ben paused for a minute, but jumped in again quickly as he saw the alarm spreading on his son's face. 'He's okay, he's just sleeping from the medicine he was given,' he quickly reassured, and Hoss released a deep breath in relief. 'But we need to get him home. Is Adam with you?'

'N…no Pa,' Hoss stammered, reaching out his hand to touch his little brother's shoulder, not entirely convinced that he was really alright. 'I'll go get him.'

Ben simply nodded, his eyes pleading with his son to hurry. It was a message that the gentle teenager understood, and he nodded back as he turned to go out the door. In his hurry, he bumped into the stranger that Ben hadn't noticed until just that moment.

'Thanks again, Mr. Ashcroft,' the teenager murmured, pulling the door shut behind him as he hurried back down the street. The stranger nodded his head after the retreating figure, and then turned his eyes back to look at Ben.

'Mr. Cartwright, I presume?' The man extended his hand out in Ben's direction, waiting for the other man to respond.

Ben stared at the man, something akin to suspicion growing in his stomach as he tried to read the expressions on the man's face. Unable to shake the uneasiness that he felt, he nodded slowly as he grasped the other man's hand in a firm handshake.

'I'm Daniel Ashcroft,' the man continued when Ben didn't ask. 'I'm really sorry about what happened at the general store. Is your son alright?'

'Mr. Ashcroft,' Ben turned from the man as he looked at his sleeping son. Turning back to face the man, he continued, his voice tight. 'Yes, thank you. He'll be alright.'

'That's good to hear,' the man sounded obviously relieved. 'He gave me quite a scare there, for a moment. It was almost like he saw a ghost or something.' He watched Ben carefully as he continued. 'I ran into your other son at the store after you left, he was looking for you. Since I knew where you had gone, after I told him where you were, I decided to tag along. I hope you don't mind, I was just worried about the boy.'

'Yes, well, I appreciate your concern.' Ben's voice still held a slight edge as he continued to study the man in front of him.

Ashcroft took a step towards the sleeping child, brushing his hand lightly across the boy's head. Ben moved forward quickly to push the man away, but the look in the man's eyes made him freeze.

'A fine looking boy,' the man murmured, his eyes studying the sleeping face intently. 'What's he, about ten years old?' Ashcroft turned to face Ben suddenly, his eyes narrowing.

Ben's stomach twisted as he moved forward protectively, pushing the man away as he bent to scoop his son into his arms. Paul, who had been speechless since the stranger had moved towards Joe, jumped forward suddenly and pushed a small packet into Ben's vest pocket as Ben moved towards the door. Ben's only response to the man's question was the icy glare he sent in his direction, a look that sent its message very plainly.

'Thanks, Paul,' Ben nodded to his friend as he stepped through the door cradling his son in his arms. 'I'll see you in a couple days.'

Ashcroft didn't say anything, but his eyes stared after the retreating figure, a slight smile playing across his face.

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Hoss sat in the chair next to his little brother's bed, staring at Joe as he twitched restlessly in his sleep. Even with the sleeping powder he'd taken, the little boy's mind was still going in overdrive, preventing him from the deep sleep he obviously needed. Hoss's eyes widened as he continued to watch the little boy, his big hand clamped down tightly on his brother's restless one.

'Ah, Shortshanks,' he whispered softly, his gentle eyes filling with tears as he brushed his large fingers along his brother's hand. 'What's wrong, little brother? What's goin' on in that head a' yours?'

It wasn't as if he expected an answer, but he sighed anyway at the silence that followed his question. It had been a hard day for the pale-eyed teenager. Ever since he'd heard that his little brother was having nightmares again, he'd been tense with an uneasy feeling he just couldn't describe. He hated seeing his brother so sad and upset. The ride into town had been long and silent, the normally lively little boy sullen and withdrawn. He and Adam both had, somewhat reluctantly, followed their father's instructions to go in a separate direction once in town, each admitting to the unease they felt at the whole situation.

It had been the waiting that had spurred Hoss into action, waiting for a brother and father that never arrived. Hoss's heart had sunk in his stomach when he'd arrived back to the general store, his family nowhere to be seen, a stranger delivering the rather frightening news that his little brother had collapsed in the street. Near panicking, he had raced to the doctor's office, only minimally relieved when he had been told that his brother would be alright, at least eventually.

The ride home had been even worse than the ride to town, silent and tense as they had hurried to get the little boy home. That had led the protective older brother to where he now found himself, keeping watch over the exhausted child. His father had come in and urged him to go to bed, assuring him that Joe was going to sleep through the night, but somehow Hoss wasn't convinced. He yawned as he fidgeted in the hard chair, suddenly feeling drained as the long day began to drag into an even longer night. His body wanted to go to sleep, but there was just something that kept him sitting in the chair. He needed to be there, he had to protect his little brother.

A slight rustle behind him drew his attention, and he turned to see his older brother standing at the bedroom door. Adam's eyes darkened slightly in concern as he stared at the twitching figure lying on the bed, and he beckoned at Hoss with a toss of his head. Standing from the chair, Hoss moved over to the doorway.

'How's he been?' Adam whispered, already knowing the answer to his question as he saw the unmistakable lines of exhaustion still plainly visible on his little brother's face.

'Oh, Adam,' Hoss sighed, rubbing his hands warily over his sleepy eyes. 'He just seems all jumpy-like. Even the doc's medicine ain't helpin' him. I just wish there was somethin' else we could do.'

'I know,' Adam agreed, putting a sympathetic hand on Hoss's shoulder. He hoped his words would reassure his sensitive younger brother as he spoke, and his eyes shone with determination. 'We'll take care of him. He'll be alright.'

'No…no, stop…p-please,' the desperate begging from the bed sent the two older brothers' eyes to turn back around in shocked surprise. They watched in horrified fascination, unable to move, as Joe sat up in the bed, his eyes open but unseeing, tears running down his face. His next words tore at their hearts, and the sudden thought that things might never be alright again scared them senseless.

'Why?' the distraught child begged. 'Why did you leave me all alone? Why?!'


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter took somewhat of an interesting turn. I usually start with an outline, just filling in the pieces, but that didn't seem to work this time. It seems I had more to write than I thought, and this is the end result. Still, I think it works.**

**Not a lot of action in this chapter, but the angst is starting to build and older Cartwrights are going into protective overdrive! I had to end the chapter here or else it would have gone on forever! **

**Special thanks to Caroll's Pen, Rachel L. Driscoll, jerseybelle, Guest, MJ, melly96, and amandajune for taking the time to leave me a comment and/or review. You guys rock and I appreciate your kind words!**

**I would love to hear what you think—happy thoughts motivate me to update faster! :) As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!**

**Plot Note: Adam's memory at the end of the story comes from the actual Bonanza episode 'Between Heaven and Earth.' You'll know it when you see it. It had to happen sometime—I finally used an actual canon memory in one of my stories. :)**

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'Why? Why did you leave me all alone? _Why?!_'

It felt as if a knife had been plunged into Adam's heart, the agony he felt at the sound of his brother's bitter cry, the words piercing the quiet of the late night. He couldn't move, his own eyes filling with tears, as he stared at the hysterical form on the bed. It wasn't until he saw the sudden movement at his side that his body suddenly released from its frozen shock, and he lunged forward almost instinctively to stop what he knew was about to happen.

'Hoss, _no_,' he whispered desperately, using his full strength to keep his bigger younger brother from descending on the little boy to crush him in a powerful embrace. Adam didn't see the shocked and pained expression crossing Hoss's face as he kept his eyes locked on the little boy on the bed. Hoss stopped resisting his older brother's grasp and pulled back, letting Adam take the lead, watching as his older brother pushed forward slowly to kneel next to Joe's bed.

'Why, why?!' the desperate child pleaded hysterically to no one in particular, his vacant eyes blank and unseeing. Adam winced at the words, noting the pitch in the little boy's voice getting higher, his breathing growing labored with the exertion.

It took all of his own self-control to not grab his little brother into a crushing protective hug, but Adam refrained from the act and instead silently reached his hand out to touch the little boy on his shoulder. The child flinched like a wounded animal, pulling away from the touch as he began rocking, the anguished cries melting into desperate mumblings. Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and reached out his hand again, but this time when he touched his little brother the boy didn't pull away. Joe actually responded to the soft touch as his whimperings started to grow louder.

'Shh, shh, little buddy…' Adam worked desperately in an attempt to keep his voice calm and soft as he began to gently rub his little brother's back, hoping that the fear he felt in his stomach wouldn't be conveyed to the little boy he was trying to soothe. It was only a slight feeling of relief that he felt when Joe began to respond to the quietness in his older brother's voice, the little boy's mumblings gradually falling to silence. 'Shh, it's okay.'

Joe's trembling had also calmed, and the little boy had started to go limp, his exhausted body beginning to slump backwards. Adam scrambled to his feet and quickly onto the bed to sit behind his brother, letting the slackening form of the little boy fall gently into his arms. Pulling him forward to rest against his chest, Adam wrapped his arms securely around Joe as the little boy relaxed completely against him.

'Adam?!'

Ben appeared in the doorway behind Hoss, and Adam's heart dropped as he took in the panicked look on his father's face. Ben pushed forward and dropped to his knees next to the bed, his hand brushing softly through his youngest's sweat-dampened hair.

'Adam, what happened?' Ben had dropped his voice to a whisper, but Adam could hear the slight hitch in his father's voice as Ben's eyes looked to his oldest, pleading for some type of explanation.

'Yeah, what's goin' on?' Hoss asked softly, giving Adam a puzzled look. 'Why'd ya stop me from helpin' Joe?' His voice sounded hurt and Adam felt a pang of sympathy for his younger brother.

'I think he was in the middle of a nightmare,' Adam whispered, keeping his voice down as the figure in his arms stirred slightly. Joe adjusted in his brother's arms and sighed softly as Adam continued his explanation. 'He wasn't awake, Hoss. He was screaming in his sleep…' His voice caught and he took a breath before he could continue. He shot an uncertain glance at his father. 'I wasn't sure if it was a good idea…'

'You did the right thing, son,' Ben said quickly, giving Adam a slight reassuring smile. He looked at the still-puzzled Hoss and nodded. 'It might have made it worse if he was awakened suddenly.'

Hoss was horrified at his sudden realization of what could have happened. The implications of his almost-action suddenly overwhelming him, he turned around and leaned against the doorframe, tears escaping down his face as he tried to muffle his sobs. Ben saw the reaction and moved to comfort him while Adam just stared at them miserably, his arms tightening unconsciously around the sleeping little boy still cuddled against his chest.

'I c-coulda hurt h-him…' Hoss choked out as his father began rubbing his back softly in an attempt to calm him. 'I-I'm sorry…'

'It's not your fault,' Ben's gentle voice soothed the distraught teenager. 'None of us knows what we are dealing with here. I know you'd never hurt your brother.'

'It's not just that, Pa,' Hoss turned sad eyes to look back at the exhausted younger brother still sleeping in Adam's arms. His voice was soft and forlorn. 'I just can't stand seein' him like this, Pa.' His eyes filled with tears again as he choked back another sob.

'I know, son, I know…' Ben's voice caught in his throat as he felt his own tears welling in his eyes. He was about to continue when he was interrupted by Adam's concerned voice.

'I think he's waking up,' Adam whispered urgently, causing both Ben and Hoss to turn back around to look at the two brothers still on the bed.

They all watched silently, holding a collective breath, as Joe began to twist in his older brother's arms, his eyes flickering rapidly beneath his still-closed lids. He began to mumble incoherently as he pushed away from the arms still holding him, his breathing starting to hitch as he began to fight against the embrace. Adam relaxed his grip and Joe seemed to lose some of his fight as his emerald eyes struggled to open. He blinked as he gazed around in confusion, his bright eyes not focusing on anyone in particular. An involuntary shudder passed through his body as he sat there mutely.

'Hey buddy,' Adam whispered in the little boy's ear, Joe jerking around quickly to stare into his brother's face. The little boy's eyes widened suddenly with recognition, and he gave a little cry as he threw his arms around his older brother's neck, the relief evident on his face as he hugged his older brother.

'Joseph?' Ben moved cautiously towards the bed with his arms open, and Joe responded to his father's invitation by vaulting himself into his father's embrace. Ben pulled the little boy closely and buried his face in Joe's tousled hair, breathing deeply as he tried to gain some control. 'Can you tell me about it, son? What did you see?'

Joe trembled in his father's arms, and he struggled to control his breathing. It took him several minutes to gather himself together. When he spoke, his voice was no more than a whisper and his family had to strain just to hear the sad words.

'You…you all l-left me,' his whispered voice choked out between the tears that had begun falling. 'Why?' His haunted eyes implored the shocked faces around him. 'Why…why did you leave m-me all alone? D-did I do s-something wrong?'

'No, no,' Ben rushed quickly, trying to recover from the shock of his son's words. He hugged his son even closer as he tried to reassure him. 'Joseph, you haven't done anything wrong. I'm here, we're all here. We won't leave you.' His voice became quiet with a desperate pleading as he stared intently into his son's wide green eyes. 'We'll never leave you, do you understand?'

Adam's heart was racing as he watched his little brother nod slightly, his brilliant green eyes beginning to close as he leaned into his father's embrace. Stealing a look at Hoss standing next to him, he could feel the tenseness radiating from the teenager's body as their eyes met in shared understanding. Glancing back at their father, Adam noticed the same look in his father's worried face. Joe had fallen back asleep, but it was the expression on the little boy's face that gave them all cause to shudder.

It was obvious from the pained and tortured look on his sleeping face that the little boy hadn't believed a word his father had said. And it broke all of their hearts.

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While Joe had lain in his father's arms, his rest interrupted as he tossed fitfully, it had been a sleepless night for the rest of the family. Unable to fully understand what had happened, and unwilling to break the promise that they had made, they had only been able to sit and watch, silent sentries protecting their beloved child. Joe's broken words had devastated them all, and regardless if whether the little boy believed their contradictions were true or not, they had all vowed to make it right.

The realization that there was something more to the whole situation had come to Adam sometime in the middle of that sleepless night. While Joe had continued his fitful sleep, Adam had spent some of the time studying the father who had kept himself huddled next to his youngest son's bedside. Ben's eyes had never left his sleeping child's face, so intent was he in protecting the young child from the demons plaguing him. Watching him intently, Adam could feel his heart twisting with concern at the sight of the quiet fear he could see reflected in his father's eyes. There was more to this nightmare they all were a part of, more than his father had already shared, and it sent a wave of fear and dread through Adam.

He had refrained from asking then and there, knowing somehow that his father needed some time to get himself together. It was just another way that he knew his father. He knew his father would tell him in due time, and he knew he needed to know the whole story, but he waited until after the remnants of their uneaten breakfast had been cleared away to approach the subject.

'Pa?' Adam's worried eyes took in his father's face. He watched as his father's eyes focused and the frown on his face softened slightly. Adam clenched his fists tightly as he prepared himself for the question he was about to ask. 'Pa, what's the matter?' His voice trembled and he took a moment to steady it before he continued. 'It's not just the nightmares, is it? Is there something else wrong with Joe?'

Ben snapped his head up to look into his son's worried eyes, finally his attention focusing completely on the young man in front of him. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face as made the realization, the recognition of how his oldest son could read him so thoroughly. He'd never been able to keep anything from Adam, the boy having always had some kind of secret intuition into his father's thoughts. He shook his head slightly as he acknowledged the truth that he knew he was no longer going to be able to hide.

'There was someone in town yesterday,' he muttered, turning his eyes from his son's face so he could stare out the window. The strange interaction he'd had with the rather secretive and prying Daniel Ashcroft had left him feeling suspicious and angry. It hadn't just been the man's questions that had disturbed him; the way the stranger had stared at his youngest son still had his skin crawling. Something about the man had been off, almost threatening, and it sent a sickening wave of fear through the protective father. On top of all that was already going on, he just wasn't sure how much more any of them could handle. His heart was full of regret at the knowledge that he had to share this new development with his oldest. Ben took a deep breath to steady himself as he turned back around and continued. 'His name is Daniel Ashcroft. There's just something about him…'

'What, Pa?' Adam could see the fear in his father's deep brown eyes, and it sent a small wave of panic through him. 'What did he do?' His voice hardened and his dark eyes flashed with sudden anger as a new thought came to him. 'Did he hurt Joe?'

'No,' Ben said quickly, seeing the anger and fear on his son's face and wanting to reassure the young man before him. 'No…_no_. He didn't do anything, but it was just the way…he was there when your brother collapsed. Joe almost acted…' Ben swallowed hard before he could continue the thought, his voice still shaky with his next words. 'Your brother acted like he had almost seen him before, like he was afraid of him. And then the way he kept looking at your brother after that…and the questions he asked…' Ben stopped suddenly as he took in the wide-eyed horror evident now on his son's face. He forced a small smile to his face as he continued apologetically. 'I'm sorry son…I didn't mean to startle you so much. Just the ramblings of a worried father…it's, it's probably nothing.'

Adam stood staring incredulously at his father, not convinced at the sudden turn-about in his father's words. He had seen the fear on his father's face, a very raw and real emotion, and then his rather poor attempt to downplay the whole situation. He knew from experience that his father's instincts were generally pretty accurate, especially when it concerned his sons. If something about the man had seemed odd to his father, Adam was convinced that there was more to it than just his father's over-active protective parental instinct, regardless of the man trying to say otherwise. The whole thing was disturbing. Adam's eyes narrowed in rage at the thought of a stranger being fixated on his brother. The whole idea made him feel helpless, a feeling that both scared and infuriated him.

Ben could see the conflicted emotions on his son's face, and he sighed at the worry he had added to the clearly visible burden of guilt his oldest son already carried. Guilt had already been an emotion that the whole family had been feeling, especially after what had happened the previous night, and he certainly didn't want to add anything else to his oldest's already strained emotions. Ben was proud of the way his oldest son had always been so protective of his little brother; it gave him some measure of relief and assurance that his boys would be alright, even when he had to be away from them. He found himself struggling with the conflict he now found himself in. He needed that assurance now, the assurance that his oldest would be his youngest's protector, even as he didn't want to add further to the young man's burden. Ben felt his own guilt gnawing at him with his next words, the words that fed on both his own fear and the need he knew his oldest had of being Joe's protector.

'It's probably nothing,' he stated again firmly, looking directly into his son's eyes. The confidence he had tried to instill melted just a little as he continued slowly. 'But maybe…just maybe there is something to it…I'm just not sure right now.' Ben watched Adam's eyes narrow again and he took a deep breath to steady his emotions. This was the part that he felt bad about, but he forced himself to continue. 'But until we know for sure, we need to keep an eye on Joe at all times. I don't want him alone for even a minute. With all the nightmares he's been having, I don't want this, or anything else, to upset him.'

Adam couldn't help the small, rueful smile that came to his face as he thought about his father's words. He knew his little brother all too well. 'You know Joe's not going to like that.' He lost the smile as he thought back, and his voice grew sad. 'Regardless of what he said last night, asking us why we left him, you know he's still going to hate this. He hates it when we baby him, and that's what he is going to think if we are watching him every minute.'

'I know, I know, he's going to be upset about this,' Ben nodded, cringing slightly at the truth he knew to be found in his oldest son's words. 'I haven't decided yet, but I don't even think I'm going to send him back to school when it starts next week.'

Adam smiled again, a brief flash of mischief suddenly glowing in his eyes. 'Well…he might not be too upset about that part. Maybe you should tell him that first…you know, get on his good side?'

It was meant as a joke, and Ben knew and appreciated the gesture. It was just like his son to say something like this to try to help, to lighten the mood, but he just couldn't stop the worry he felt. He couldn't smile and just sighed as he turned away, nodding his head in response.

'Don't worry, Pa,' Adam's voice firmly stated, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Ben turned back around to face his oldest son, a smile growing on his face as he recognized the determination he could hear in his son's words. He couldn't hold back the pride he felt as his son continued.

'We'll take care of Joe. Nobody is going to bother him. We'll get him through this.' Adam's voice trembled slightly, but his words never lost the conviction he felt. 'We have to.'

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Adam sat on the shady bank of the old fishing hole, dark eyes studying the sleeping form that was twitching restlessly next to him. He frowned at the pinched look of apprehension that refused to relax from the little boy's face even as he lay asleep in the warm grass. His frustration showed as the sigh escaped his lips; all the worry and fear of the past couple of days had taken its toll on the whole family, nothing seeming to help. Even the constant supervision that the youngest Cartwright had been subjected to had done nothing to provide his family with so much as a clue as to what was really going on.

Today had, emotionally, been the same as the days preceding it. What had started out as a promising day of enjoyment had turned into another day of empty silence and dark brooding. Both Adam and Joe had long since given up the cursory pretense of actually going fishing, only spending moments on the poles that now sat unnoticed on the edge of the bank. It saddened Adam to think that this was what everything pleasant had digressed into lately, any joy that had been previously found in any of their recreational activities sadly lost in the direness of the current situation.

Joe had been miserable since his father had announced the verdict of constant companionship that was now his shadow; the little boy had always resented the fact that the rest of his family felt the need to constantly baby him, the reluctance to let him grow up. He had started to protest, the familiar light of rebellion glowing faintly in his brilliant green eyes, but once he had seen the firm look in his father's eyes, the look that left no room for argument, he had reconciled himself immediately.

His reaction at the time had worried them even more, the way Joe had refused to really argue about it, the way he just nodded his head in a sad resignation. The old Joe would never have given in so quickly, but this somber new Joe had done just that. And so the little boy had spent the last two days with a constant shadow, never alone for more than a few minutes, despite the constant companionship withdrawing further and further away with each passing moment. Even at night he had no escape from the tormenting thoughts; the powders, while knocking him unconscious, not providing the promised restful night's sleep, and the resulting dark shadows under the little boy's eyes only served to be a sad reminder that something was terribly wrong. The combination of his own wayward imagination and the drug-induced haze had turned the once-energetic little boy into a lethargic shadow of his former self.

His thoughts returning to the nearer present, Adam smiled sadly as he thought back on the events of the day. He had really tried to engage his little brother, trying to get Joe's mind off of the disturbing thoughts, even for just the afternoon. Joe had always loved it when his older brother had taken him for a ride through the woods, just the two of them spending time together. That combined with an afternoon of fishing at their favorite fishing hole, and usually Adam would have been unable to escape the enormity of his little brother's ecstatic response. Today though, Joe had merely shrugged absently at the suggestion, and Adam had been left wondering if his little brother had actually wanted to go or if he was just trying to appease his older brother.

The ride had been silent, any conversation Adam trying to start quickly drying up as Joe made no effort to respond, the young boy simply staring straight ahead with unblinking eyes. Unable to break through the silence, Adam had resigned himself to studying his brother, watching Joe's every movement in his continued attempt of figuring out what had been going on. He couldn't blame his little brother for his actions really; whatever grasp Joe's nightmares held on him, they had certainly frightened him and somehow convinced him that he had to deal with this all alone. It broke Adam's heart all over again, the memories of how he and his little brother had always shared everything, especially during the time after Marie's death. The closeness that they had always had was gone now, his little brother pulling further and further away from them all with each passing day.

Now Adam found himself sitting on the bank, reflecting on the day's events as he tried to decide if he should wake his finally sleeping brother. Granted, he thought to himself, it didn't look like it was the most restful sleep, but it was sleep, sleep that his brother desperately needed. He sighed as he looked at the angle of the sun's rays on the grassy bank, noting that it was close to sunset and knowing his father would worry if they weren't home before dark. His decision made for him, he put his hand softly on his little brother's shoulder in an attempt to gently wake him, his own brown eyes intently watching the young boy as the brilliant green eyes began to open.

'Hey, Joe,' he whispered softly, noting with concern the fear he could see welling up in the expressive eyes, Joe's confusion to his surroundings evident. Seeing that his brother was still in a sleepy daze, Adam cupped the little boy's chin with his hand and moved so that he could look his little brother directly in the eyes. 'Hey, buddy.' He smiled as recognition crossed Joe's face, the fear receding slightly, but not disappearing completely, from the bright green eyes. 'Sorry to wake you up, but we have to get home. It's almost dark, and Pa will be worried.'

He watched his brother for a reaction, and smiled slightly at the fleeting look of disdain that he could see crossing his little brother's face. Even with all that had happened, Joe still resented the over-protectiveness he felt was being forced upon him. Joe huffed slightly in annoyance as he pulled himself to his feet, his forehead creasing in a frown as he stared down at his older brother still sitting in the grass.

'Aren't ya comin'?' Joe's voice was strained. Adam frowned in brotherly concern at the huge yawn that suddenly escaped from his younger brother's throat, effectively cutting off any other words the little boy had planned to say. Joe turned sullenly and headed back to the stand of trees where they had left their horses.

Adam stood and followed his brother to the horses, watching as Joe swung easily up into the saddle and pulled his horse around in the direction of home. Resigning himself to the fact that the ride home was going to be as silent as the ride out, Adam sighed and followed suit, falling in behind his brother as they began their ride back home.

Halfway to home, the sun had practically disappeared behind the mountains, and Adam cursed himself for his lack of attention. They wouldn't be getting home before dark, and his father would be quite worried. Joe was riding at a rather relaxed pace, not in any obvious hurry to get home. Adam hated to push his brother, the situation between the two of them already tense, but he knew the necessity of such action. Even if he didn't take into account his father's worry, Adam knew that it wasn't the best for the two of them to be riding through the woods once it was dark.

'Shake a leg, Joe…we need to get home,' Adam scolded mildly, his rebuke rewarded with a dark scowl from his younger brother. Joe didn't answer, just kicked his legs into the horse's ribs as he quickened his pace. Adam sighed again, ruing the day that he had somehow lost the touch to communicate effectively with his little brother.

Adam turned his eyes to study the shadows of the darkening woods. Shades of green, getting deeper and darker by the moment, started to blend into the gloom and darkness that were threatening to swallow up the little light that was remaining. Adam had ridden out in the twilight before, the colorful mosaic of shadows and light always calming and enjoyable. He found it odd, therefore, when he felt a slight wave of coldness suddenly washing over him as he watched the darkness looming, seeming almost threatening in some way. The sensation unnerved him, making him uneasy, and he didn't know why.

His eyes turned forward to face Joe, still riding up ahead, seemingly oblivious to the thoughts of his older brother. The little boy was sitting ramrod straight in his saddle, his eyes not deviating from their focus on the darkening path in front of him. But something about his brother's posture didn't sit right with Adam. Spurring his horse forward to catch up to his little brother, he was shocked to see the tears that had welled up in the green eyes and had trickled down his little brother's cheeks. Joe's eyes looked hauntingly sad, the same look that Adam had seen that first night over a month ago when this had all started, the look that was still burned in Adam's memory. Joe didn't even appear to be aware of his surroundings, completely lost in his thoughts.

'Joe, what is it?' Adam tried to keep his voice calm, not wanting to startle the boy out of the trance-like state he was in. At his words, Joe's head snapped forward as he came back from his haunted thoughts. Joe curled his lip up in a frown as he continued to keep his eyes averted from his brother, his left hand scrubbing absently at the tear stains on his face.

'Nothin'.' The little boy's voice was sullen, hollow. 'Just wanna get home, that's all.'

Adam didn't answer and turned back to look at his surroundings, relieved slightly as the dense line of trees they were in broke and a familiar sight came into view. It had been a long time since they had ridden past Eagle's Nest, it not being on the usual route towards home. He wasn't even sure how they had come upon it now, until he suddenly realized that somehow they had deviated in their directions and the horses had instinctively made the correction to get them home. The familiar landmark certainly was impressive; it's height unmatched by any of the other peaks in the countryside, the sheer slope of the rock making it impossible to scale by horseback. It certainly was a majestic sight, and Adam felt grateful that they had somehow happened along this route towards home, the lack of trees in the space surrounding the mountain allowing the little light still remaining before nightfall to reach their eyes.

'It's safe up there…'

The words were barely whispered, practically incoherent, but Adam caught the sound, his own breath catching in his throat. Turning to face the source, Adam's shocked eyes widened in horror at the almost serene look sitting on the little boy's deathly pale face. Joe's eyes were wide and he was swallowing rapidly, trying to calm his suddenly ragged breathing.

'Joe, what did you say?'

The words strangled in Adam's throat as his brother suddenly flinched, the trance now broken, the uncomfortable look on Joe's face giving Adam the distinct impression that the little boy hadn't realized and now regretted the utterance. Joe turned his eyes away, intent on ignoring the question, but Adam, refusing to be ignored, pushed his brother again.

'Joe, what did you mean by what you just said? Tell me, _now_!'

Joe had pulled his horse to a stop and was sitting in his saddle silently, vacant eyes staring blankly at the mountain in front of him. Adam looked up and in the last fading bit of daylight he could just trace the peak of Eagle's Nest rising far above them. Joe continued to stare unblinkingly, pausing for several moments until his words came out softly, achingly haunted.

'It's safe up there.'

Echoing his previous words, the little boy jerked his head slightly in the direction of the peak of Eagle's Nest before he silently turned back around in his saddle. Adam stared after his little brother as Joe kicked his feet into the horse's flank, spurring the animal into motion as he continued on his way home.

Adam continued to stare after the retreating figure, unsure of what had just happened. Joe's words had appeared to be unexpected, almost as if the little boy himself hadn't even realized what he'd said. But what had bothered Adam more than the unexpected utterance was the vacant look in his brother's eyes. He had seen the fear, the utter desolation reflected in Joe's eyes, and it caused a shiver to run down his spine.

Suddenly, the shiver turned into a full blown wave of cold fear as a distant memory pushed forward from the back of his mind. He gasped involuntarily as the thought made him ill, the memory twisting in his gut like a knife.

He remembered it so vividly now, that time over five years ago now. He surmised the truth of the matter: the memory he'd tried to forget, pushing away the fear they'd all felt, that night. The night his little brother had disappeared.

They'd never found out what had happened, really. Joe had disappeared one afternoon, and they had spent the whole night searching for him. It had been their father who had found the little boy very early the next morning, the five year old having climbed to the very top of Eagle's Nest. Ben had carried the little boy down the mountain in his arms. Visibly shaken by his ordeal, they hadn't questioned the little boy very much in the first few days following, hoping that a little time would make him more willing to talk. That conversation had never happened due to tragic circumstance; only days after Joe having been found, Marie had been tragically killed in that riding accident. With all that subsequently followed, Joe's disappearance had all but been forgotten.

Adam's mind was whirling as he suddenly realized how far ahead his little brother had gotten, and he kicked his horse into a trot to catch up. Regret and guilt began to flood through him as he wondered if somehow they had missed something all those years ago. Somehow that they had all let the youngest member of the family down, yet again; that they had failed him, left him alone in his torment. He remembered the promise they had made, and grimly reaffirmed the vow. Having caught up to Joe, the little boy didn't seem to hear the faint whisper of determination that his older brother quietly whispered.

'I'm here, little buddy. We all are. And we are never going to leave.'


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: This was where the last chapter was supposed to end, but as you can see I got carried away and this was the end result! That said, I had an awful time with this chapter. I rewrote it about three times, then edited forever, and finally decided that if I am ever to move forward in this story, then this was it and I just needed to post!**

**Hopefully it isn't too awful and doesn't totally contradict my previous chapters! Some more angst (I felt I needed Joe's perspective on the previous events) and another mystery to solve!**

**I am incredibly grateful to all who are reading, following, favoriting (is that a word?), and especially reviewing :) I love hearing your thoughts, so please continue! **

**Anyway, on with the story-I hope you enjoy!**

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Joe sat dejectedly on the edge of his bed, waiting with a slightly anxious resentment for the nightly bedtime ritual to begin. His breath escaped in an exasperated sigh as he repeatedly and halfheartedly kicked at the foot of the bed, just wanting to get the whole thing over with. It wasn't as if he had a choice in the matter, anyway.

It would only be a matter of minutes, Joe knew, before one of his well-meaning family members would bring the dreaded glass of cloudy liquid for him to drink, the 'medicine' that was supposed to make all his problems go away and give him the rest he needed. The reluctant volunteer of the night would smile at him just a little too brightly; a vain attempt at trying to reassure not only the little boy in question but also their own consciences that everything was going to be alright. Joe knew better than to be fooled at their actions as all the effort put into the charade was never successful. It was true that the bitter drink would make his eyes heavy and his breathing slow, and even as he resisted its effects, it would drag him down into a dark place that was supposed to be restful. Supposed to be, but in actuality it was nothing further from the truth.

The truth made the little boy sigh again, even as he stifled the yawn forming in his throat and tried to fight the urge to rub his eyes with his hand. Joe was more tired now with the medicine than he had been before, and he felt it keenly. At least before being medicated, when he'd been in the throes of a nightmare, he had been able to pull himself awake to escape the torment. But now, when he was in the drug-induced unconsciousness, even that small control had been lost. Unable to wake up, he now found himself stuck in the dreams, and the dread he felt at just that thought terrified him even more, resulting in an exhaustion he couldn't shake.

The fear made him keenly aware of his own weakness, and Joe was disgusted with himself for it. He had been working through the problem completely on his own, had thought he'd had it under control, until the colossal moment of weakness that had brought the whole situation to the forefront of his father's attention. That day in town, the day he had reacted to a simple encounter in such a way he still couldn't understand. The thought of that strange man, the one he had run into at the general store, still sent a shudder of fear down his spine. Ever since that moment, the nightmares had changed. No longer completely unmemorable, they had started to stick in his mind in frustratingly awkward bits and pieces. At first he had thought that this might be better, that bits of memories would actually help, but as the days wore on, he found quite the opposite to be true. He found that he just wanted to escape.

Having puzzled it out in his mind thoroughly, Joe was convinced that he had never met that man before. Still, something about seeing the stranger had caused the young boy's stomach to twist and his head to spin, making him dizzy and leading to him passing out unconscious in the dirt. The meeting had opened a floodgate of memories, feelings that had left him feeling empty and drained. One sensation in particular seemed to be stronger than all the rest, the overwhelming knowledge that he had been alone. While troubling in itself, the part that hurt the most was that he was alone now, too. There was nothing anyone could do about it, and the frustration and loneliness Joe felt at that just pushed him further and further into himself. He couldn't bear to talk about it. No one would understand, really.

This whole situation had caused them all to worry, even more than they usually did. The fear Joe could see in their eyes whenever they looked at him was most assuredly real. All of them were constantly watching him, always scrutinizing and staring at him as if he was a puzzle that they were trying to solve. He still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the extra attention, and even that thought confused him.

In one respect, he felt a little guilty in the fact that he found his family's constant worrying comforting albeit in a rather bizarre way. Joe hated that he made them worry; he had always just wanted his father and brother s to be proud of him. But on the other hand, with that constant worry came the suddenly restricted independence, the illusion that he couldn't even care for himself, and that left him seething in frustration. He resented them, the treatment as if he was still just a baby, even as he secretly wanted, almost desperately, to crawl into his father's arms and cry all the fears away.

His frustration bubbling over, Joe kicked his foot almost savagely against the bed. As much as he had tried, Joe found himself unable to remember the day in town after the incident at the general store, the exception being his trip to Doctor Martin's office. Joe's nose wrinkled in disdain at the memory; he never appreciated going to the doctor's office and he had not only had to endure the questions that he didn't want to answer but had been forced to drink two glasses of vile tasting liquid. Joe had almost wondered at the time if the good doctor had been trying to get some kind of revenge on him for some past crimes by making him drink the two doses. After that, though, everything had been hazy and there really wasn't anything he could remember. At least he couldn't remember anything until what had happened later that night.

That nightmare had been the worst one he'd ever had, and had been the catalyst of his current situation. It was best described as terrible, the feeling of aloneness it had conveyed overwhelming, and it had led him to say something that he had immediately regretted. Even now, Joe couldn't believe he had actually said it, even though it had been the truth. The truth had hurt, and it filled him with such a sadness that he hadn't been able to even think before he'd blurted it out. They had left him, he had been alone, and he still didn't understand why.

They had always been over-protective, so he really couldn't understand why they had done it. But they had done it, and it hurt more than anything. For regardless of the fact that Joe Cartwright didn't want anyone babying him, telling him he wasn't big enough or had to wait until he was older, he really didn't like being alone.

And so here he was. They had taken his nightmare literally, mixing emotion and imagination into a warped reality. Their solution had been simple: make up for their supposed prior mistake by seeing to it that he was never alone for more than a few minutes. And it really only made him feel worse. Even the afternoon he had just spent with Adam, something that was somewhat rare and usually immensely enjoyed, had only seemed like a forced attempt by his older brother to try to figure out what was going on in his head. Joe found himself sadly not even wanting to go, he had just wanted to be alone; he needed space to think about everything. But knowing that if he hadn't agreed to go, that it would only make the situation worse, make them worry even more, Joe had reluctantly went.

Most of the day spent with Adam had been uneventful, at least until it had been time to go home. Joe hadn't been able to resist the smirk he felt at knowing his brother would probably get in some trouble for the lateness of the hour, and it had continued to get darker as they rode home, the shadows growing longer by the minute.

It had been the shadows that had finally gotten to him. Joe had never actually thought about it before, how the green leaves mixed with the darkness of night to make a rather gloomy and foreboding vision. Something about the vision had prompted again the feeling of overwhelming sadness, the total aloneness. He had tried to ignore the rising panic in his chest, and he hadn't even noticed the tears that had been streaming down his cheeks. It was just like Adam to notice, much to Joe's embarrassment, and since the young boy hadn't wanted to talk about it, he had just kicked his horse to go faster.

And then they had ridden past the mountain, past the place known as Eagle's Nest. He remembered the place-he'd been there before, an imposing and rather barren feature in the normally lush landscape. Joe had never really thought much about the place before, but in that particular moment of seeing the jagged, bare rocks something stirred in him that he couldn't explain. A mixture of fear and peacefulness had virtually overwhelmed him, and he hadn't even realized he'd said anything until his brother had demanded an answer. He'd tried to avoid it, but when Adam had not relented, he could only share the random thought he didn't even understand himself.

'_It's safe up there…'_

Where had that thought come from?

Joe didn't remember the actual event from when he'd been little, but he remembered the story Hoss had told him, of how he had disappeared one day and his father had found him at the top of Eagle's Nest. If it hadn't been for Hoss swearing to him that it was the absolute truth, he never would have believed it had happened. Even still it had always remained to him something of a tall tale. A wash of coldness flooded over Joe as he made the realization that what he had always been told was indeed true. He had been up at the top of that mountain, something had happened that he couldn't remember. And that realization made him uneasy.

A sudden noise at the door brought his focus back to his current situation, and Joe lifted his eyes to the source. His green eyes darkened and the frown returned at the sight of Hoss, a too-bright smile plastered on the teenager's face, his outstretched hand holding out the loathed glass of milky liquid.

'Hey, Shortshanks,' Hoss smiled widely, doing his best to try and deflect the obvious resentment clouding his younger brother's face. He held the glass out to his brother somewhat apologetically. 'I know ya hate this, but Pa said…'

'Yeah, I know,' Joe snapped testily, grabbing the glass from his brother's hand. He drank it down quickly, grimacing at the bitter taste as his brother watched him intently. He thrust the empty glass back into his brother's waiting hand, giving him a scowl. 'Happy?'

'Aw, Joe,' Hoss sighed heavily, his smile fading and his eyes growing sad as he looked at his angry little brother. It hurt him to see the fire showing in his little brother's eyes, the resentment that he evidently felt for them all. If there was anything at all that the teenager wanted, it was to just see his little brother happy again. 'Ya know I ain't. We all jist want what's best for ya, that's all.'

Joe huffed in disdain and turned away, curling himself into a tight ball on his bed. He clutched his pillow to his chest as he stared blankly out the window, waiting for the inevitable waves of darkness to rush over him, his concentrated effort being on trying to tune out his brother's pleading voice.

'Please, Joe, won't ya just talk ta me?' Hoss sat down in the chair next to Joe's bed and pleaded forlornly at his brother's stiff back. 'Mebbe I can help, ya know. Please, Shortshanks. Please, talk to me.'

The sorrowful voice cut through Joe's efforts, and he sighed at the sad tone, his annoyance relenting a little. He wanted to be mad at his brother, but he couldn't stop the spark of warmth that came into his heart at the concern he could hear in Hoss's voice. He and Hoss had always been able to talk, and had spent so much time together, especially after Adam had left. Joe knew, deep inside, that his older brother would never hurt him and really meant the words he said.

'Hoss, I…' Joe turned around to face his brother, propping himself up on one elbow to look into the concerned eyes staring down at him. He looked longingly for a moment before he dropped his own gaze back down to the blankets, a faint blush of shame coloring his cheeks. He took a deep breath and when he tried to continue his voice was shaky. 'I just, it's just I…'

It was the first time since the whole ordeal had started that Hoss had seen any crack in his younger brother's resolve to stay silent, and he jumped at the chance his little brother was giving him. A faint smile of concern broke out on his face as he pushed himself closer to look his brother straight in the eye. His words were soft. 'It's okay, little buddy. Just tell me.'

'I…I d-don't…' Joe kept fumbling his words and his breath began to catch in ragged gasps. He could feel panic and frustration rising in his chest, and he finally gave in to the emotions. Snapping his head up suddenly, his eyes were shooting fire at his brother as he finally found his voice. 'I don't remember, alright?! I can't tell ya somethin' I don't remember!'

Hoss reached out a hand to sympathetically pat his brother's shoulder, but Joe smacked the hand away angrily. A huge yawn suddenly broke through the anger as the medicine began to take effect. Turning away from his older brother again, the little boy curled up and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the inevitable darkness that was already pulling at him. Hoss, knowing that the moment for talking had been lost, just sat watching sadly.

It only took a few minutes for Joe's breathing to even out, signaling that the medicine had done what it was intended to do. Hoss waited a few minutes more, watching his little brother shifting in his sleep until he was sure that he was completely out for the night.

Hoss stood from the chair and moved to the door, shaking his head sadly as he looked one last time at his little brother lying on the bed. His father and Adam were waiting for him downstairs, and he knew he had to go, but something didn't feel right. There was something pulling at him, nagging him to stay. Reluctantly turning to head down the stairs, he didn't see the change in expression on his younger brother's face. As he pulled the bedroom door shut behind him, he didn't notice how Joe had suddenly started to tremble violently, unable to escape from the darkness that firmly gripped him.

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Ben sat at his desk, the drink in front of him untouched as he tapped his fingers impatiently on the smooth wood. The general anxiety he had been feeling all day had only grown into a churning mixture of annoyance and fear until his two sons had finally made their way home, long after daylight had faded into darkness. The look on his oldest's face when the two had ridden into the yard had told him that something had happened and that much needed to be told, but the look on his youngest's face had told him that it would be a discussion that would have to wait for later hours. Silently communicating this to his oldest son, Adam had known immediately what his father was thinking and his agreement was only visible in the slight nod he made in his father's direction.

Dinner had been tense; Joe's now-normal brooding sapping what little enjoyment could be had from the meal. Ben's heart had pained him as he watched his little boy push away from the table, muttering an excuse of being tired and turning from them to head upstairs to his room. It had been the routine since the day in town, and it was wearing on them all. Deciding his youngest needed a bit of space, Ben had waited before sending Hoss upstairs to check on his brother and to make sure that he was settled for the night. For as much as Joe wasn't really talking to anyone, it seemed that Hoss still had a way with the little boy, the bond the two brothers shared not having been damaged completely.

It was with a sad shake of the head that Ben thought about their current situation, as he and his eldest sat waiting for the teenager to come back downstairs. After that night when they'd made the promise to Joe, the three oldest Cartwrights had decided that they would take on the problem together. And even as he was impatient to hear what Adam needed to say, that promise wasn't something that he was about to change now. He felt a small wash of fatherly pride as he thought about his boys, and when he heard the tell-tale noise on the stairs he looked up to give Hoss a weary smile. The teenager made his way downstairs and plopped down in the stuffed chair that sat next to his father's large desk.

'Your brother asleep, son?' he asked flatly, his brown eyes crinkling up sadly at the slight nod he received in response. The pain he felt at the fact that his youngest had pulled himself away from the whole family kept twisting in his stomach, and the lump he had in his throat never seemed to go away. Giving a soft sigh, he turned his attention to his oldest and the matter that needed their immediate attention.

'Adam, what happened today?'

Adam took a deep breath, hoping the words he had been considering the whole evening would be the right ones. He knew his father too well and he had a fear that the conversation might just turn into another round of useless guilt.

'Pa,' he started, his eyes intently watching his father's face, 'Joe said something really strange today when we were riding back home. It was when we rode past Eagle's Nest…'

Ben's eyes widened at the mention of the familiar landmark, but he didn't say anything. Adam could see his father's mind racing to put the pieces together, and he continued almost reluctantly, his words spoken in a soft tone. 'He was really scared, but he wouldn't talk about it. I think it has something to do with…'

'The night he disappeared.'

Ben couldn't suppress the shudder at the memory as he finished Adam's sentence. He turned quickly to face the wall, giving himself a moment to regain his composure before he spoke again. When he turned back, Adam could see the tears that were already forming in his father's eyes. 'You know, we never talked to him about it…' Ben's voice faltered again and he took a deep breath. 'So many things happened, and it just seemed…'

Adam cringed as he clearly saw the guilt washing over his father's features. This was exactly what he had hoped could be avoided, but had known would inevitably happen. He knew without a doubt that none of this was his father's fault; so many things had happened at that time, and Adam knew his father had done the best he could considering the circumstances. The young man jumped back in again quickly, hoping to reassure his father against the guilt.

'Pa, you did the best you could at the time,' his calm voice tried to soothe the anguished man. Adam glanced over at his brother, Hoss watching their father with wide eyes. Hoss caught his brother's gaze and nodded his agreement. 'Nobody's blaming you for any of it.'

'Boys, I….thank you,' Ben blinked back his tears and he smiled at both of his boys. Looking back at Adam and seeing by the expression on his son's face that there was more, his eyes grew serious again. 'What else happened?'

'Well, we had been fishing, and Joe fell asleep,' Adam recounted the day's events. Ben smiled slightly at the information, finding slight comfort in the fact that his youngest had gotten even a little rest. Adam continued slowly, feeling slightly guilty at the next part. 'That's why we were so late in getting back, Pa. I'm sorry, but he was sleeping and I hated to wake him.'

Ben nodded his head in absent agreement, and Adam breathed a sigh of relief at the implied forgiveness. His next words seemed to come out all in a rush. 'When I woke up Joe, he was angry, pretty much the way he's been for the last few days. I should have paid better attention; it was starting to get really dark, almost all the light was gone. We were riding back, and the strangest feeling came over me. It was the way those shadows made me feel.'

'Whaddya mean, Adam?' Hoss spoke up for the first time, his pale eyes wide with confusion. Ben also gave his son a strange look. Adam cleared his throat nervously before continuing.

'I can't explain it,' Adam said decidedly. 'The shadows made me uneasy, cold. I've never felt that way before. Then I looked at Joe, and…he,' his voice caught suddenly in his throat as he remembered the haunted look on his little brother's face, '…he was crying.'

'And he wouldn't tell you why, would he?' The words were soft, and Adam shook his head remorsefully as he looked at his father's sad face.

Ben suddenly felt old and drained. It hurt that he didn't know what to do to help his youngest, that none of them could get through to him. He just looked at Adam dismally and nodded for him to continue.

'I told Joe we needed to get home, and he pushed his horse to move a little faster. I was watching him and all of a sudden we were at Eagle's Nest. Joe stopped right in the middle of the road and was just sitting there, staring up at the mountain.' Adam stopped for a moment as he thought about what had happened. 'It was like he forgot that I was even there. That's when he said it. _It's safe up there_. It took me a few minutes to put it all together, and by then he had ridden so far ahead of me that I didn't get a chance to ask him about it. I'm sorry, Pa.'

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as Adam finished. Hoss shot his older brother a puzzled look, but Adam just shook his head silently at his brother, wanting to give their father a moment to compose himself before asking his own question. After a few minutes, Adam spoke softly.

'Pa, what happened that night?'

Ben released the deep breath he'd been holding and ran a shaky hand through his hair. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded tired, and both of his sons looked at him intently.

'I don't really know,' Ben started, his own guilt churning in his stomach as he remembered that night. 'Your brother disappeared that afternoon, it was before you boys returned home from school.' He swallowed hard and continued. 'Your mother, she'd had one of her migraines that morning, and she'd sent your brother outside to play. I was so busy, I didn't even notice, not until…' his words faded off as he thought back.

Adam had been thinking about that day as well, and it had surprised him what he could actually remember once he thought about it. That afternoon, he and Hoss had returned from school and had begun their afternoon chores, and it wasn't until Hop Sing had called them for dinner that they had noticed their lively five-year-old brother was nowhere to be found. What had first started as mild irritation on their part, an assumption that their little brother had decided to play a prank and hide, had quickly escalated into alarm as darkness had fallen and there still was no trace of the little boy. It was no secret in those days that Joe had been terrified of the dark. They had searched for him all night long, their father finally finding Joe at the very top of Eagle's Nest just before daybreak. Ben's strained voice brought Adam back from his thoughts.

'When I finally found him, he was so tired,' Ben smiled warily at his two sons. 'He could barely keep his eyes open. I didn't want to press him on it, so I just let him sleep. It was only three days later…' Ben's voice died in a choked sob as he turned around quickly.

Hoss gasped as he made the connection, his pale eyes filling with tears. Adam only nodded in miserable assent at what he already knew, sympathetically reaching out to touch his younger brother's shoulder. It only took a moment for them to bring their emotions back into check, and Adam finally voiced the thought that was running through all of their minds.

'Something happened to him that day, Pa,' Adam's voice was surprisingly calm and almost indifferent, in direct contrast to the emotions he felt churning just below the surface. 'I don't know why, but he doesn't seem to remember. Maybe the nightmares he's having…'

Ben understood what his son was saying and finished the thought. 'His mind is trying to make him remember.'

They sat in silence yet again, each trying to make some sense of all that had been said. All Ben could feel was the crushing guilt of not having pushed harder back then, sick at the thought of the still-unknown torment his youngest son had gone through. Adam's mind was spinning with thoughts of how to proceed, ranging from how he was going to get his brother to remember what had happened to making sure that nothing bothered the little boy ever again. Hoss, however, was feeling a different emotion entirely.

'I'm gonna go sit with Joe,' the teenager said quietly as he headed for the stairs. Ben nodded at his second son with a ghost of a smile on his face, knowing how his son needed the close contact with his younger brother at the moment. Their already strong protective nature in regards to the youngest in the family had increased exponentially with the current situation.

Hoss had only made it to the foot of the stairs when a sharp knock on the front door caused him to pause, and Adam shot a puzzled glance at his father at the unexpected interruption. Certainly too late for guests, all Ben could do was shake his head in bewilderment as he moved to open the door.

'Charlie!' Ben's voice registered his obvious surprise at seeing his foreman and he quickly ushered the man and his companion into the house. He closed the door behind the graying ranch hand and the young man with him, looking at both of them tiredly. 'It's pretty late, Charlie. Are you sure this can't wait until morning?'

'Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Cartwright,' the weathered foreman replied soberly, his brown eyes darkening with the seriousness of the matter. He nudged the man next to him. 'But no, I'm afraid this can't wait. Brent here has something he needs to tell you. Go on, Brent, tell him.'

Brent Johnson coughed nervously as he stared down at his feet, shuffling back and forth as he tried to work up enough courage to speak to the intimidating man in front of him. He was really just a kid; green and he knew it, only having been working at the Ponderosa for a few months. He'd heard the stories from the other hands about Ben Cartwright, how he was tough yet fair, but his own interactions with the main boss had been practically non-existent and the stress from the situation he now found himself in was leaving him rather speechless.

'What is it you need to tell me, young man?' Ben barked the words out rather sharply, his eyes narrowing in sudden suspicion. While normally somewhat tolerant and even appreciative of a certain degree of shyness, the situation with his family had left Ben in no mood to coddle the pale young man now standing in front of him.

'I'm r-real s-sorry, Mr. Cartwright,' the kid stuttered, his face growing red as his anxiety continued to rise. 'I d-didn't know…'

'Know what?' The small shred of patience he had had already gone, Ben stared at the young man as he demanded an answer. Brent coughed again nervously as Charlie shoved an elbow in his ribs, urging him to spit it out.

'There…there was a m-man at the saloon.' Brent squirmed under the harsh stare of the ranch owner. If he ever got through this, he would be able to tell the others in the bunkhouse that the tales of intimidation by the just the harsh stare of the main boss were indeed true. 'He was just askin' some questions, they sure seemed harmless enough, but…'

'What kind of questions?' Ben's voice suddenly hitched, and Brent looked up, startled, just in time to see that the anger that had just been present on Ben Cartwright's face was clearly gone, replaced by a wild look of fear.

'Just questions about the ranch, about you…about your sons.' Brent gulped nervously at the audible sharp intake of breath that came from the man next to him. 'He specifically was askin' about Little Joe…'

Adam, who had been listening silently through the entire exchange, felt his body explode in a sudden rage. There was someone out there, a stranger asking questions about his brother, his family! He leapt to his feet and moved forward towards the group of men by the door but was stopped cold when he heard his father's strangled question.

'What did he want to know?'

Brent looked in Charlie's direction for support, and the foreman obliged with a nod of his head, encouraging him to continue. Seeing what he now recognized as a desperate fear in the ranch owner's eyes, Brent felt his mouth grow dry as the full force of what he had done hit him. Guilt rose in his throat to choke him, and he had to swallow sharply before he could continue.

'He asked everyone there if we knew the Cartwrights.' Brent watched Ben's face as he continued slowly. 'Mostly about the youngest one, Joseph Cartwright. He asked how old he was, if he went to school, the names of his friends, where he lived…'

Ben breathed out again harshly, and Brent gulped again quickly. 'He said he had a son who was about Joe's age, and he was hoping they could be friends. It all seemed a bit off, most everyone just ignored him.'

'I thought you should know right away,' Charlie spoke up then, giving the anxious young bronc-buster standing next to him a much needed breather.

'Y-yes,' Ben tried to regain his composure as he drew a shaky breath. He turned his attention back to the young man in front of him, and he gave him a small smile. 'Was there anything else he said that you remember?'

Brent took a minute to think back, his brow creasing in a scowl of concentration. Suddenly his eyes widened as he remembered something else. 'Yeah, actually there was. He was askin' everyone if they remembered a story about a kid disappearin' a while back…I'm sorry, I can't remember the name…Tommy, or Timmy, something like that…'

'Timmy Rawlins…' Adam gasped from where he stood behind his father. Brent nodded his head vigorously in agreement as he recognized the name. 'Oh, Pa…'

Ben's eyes were bright as he nodded to his oldest son, and he cleared his throat gruffly. 'I'm obliged to you for the information, Charlie, young man,' he whispered as he gestured the two men towards the door. 'I'll handle this. Thank you, and goodnight.'

Ben closed the door abruptly, leaving two shocked men standing on the front porch, their mouths gaping wide. Turning back to look at Hoss who had remained frozen on the bottom step, Ben desperately tried to pull his reeling emotions into check and gave his son a small smile.

'It will be okay, son,' he hurried, seeing the fear in the pale eyes. 'Why don't you go upstairs and check on your brother, alright?' He smiled again as Hoss nodded, the teenager slipping silently up the stairs.

'Pa, what…' Adam finally found his voice and began to ask, but Ben stopped him quickly with a reassurance of his own.

'I'll be going to town tomorrow morning to talk to Sheriff Coffee,' Ben said firmly. His eyes grew dark and his expression hardened, the intensity reflected on his father's face sending a slight shiver down Adam's spine. The expression of rage mirrored what the young man could feel running through his own body. 'Whatever this is all about, we're going to figure it out and stop it. We won't let him be hurt anymore, do you understand, son?'

Adam had so many questions, but unable to form the words, he could only nod his head at the grim determination he saw in his father's face. His mind was swirling, so many memories suddenly came flooding back, causing his stomach to constrict. He was trying to slow the jumbled thoughts when a shriek from the stairs made his blood run cold.

'_Pa, Adam!' _

Hoss's panicked voice echoed from the top of the stairs, his pale eyes wide with fear. Ben and Adam both turned frantic eyes to the teenager, and Adam felt his heart stop at the words his younger brother uttered next.

'Pa…it's Joe…he's, h-he's gone…'


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi everyone. Seems like I've been off the grid for a while (ok, actually I was). I have come to a decision of sorts that if I should venture into writing another chapter story in the future, I'm going to have it mostly written before I begin posting. I'm too much of a perfectionist to post before I'm completely happy, and that takes time, and then I hate making you all wait so long for an update! Regretfully for you I am still writing this one and while I hope to be a little faster with my updates I make no guarantees—I know where I want to go, but it's just taking me time to get there!**

**I want to thank all who have read, favorited, and followed. But I want to give a huge thanks especially to BJ2, MJ, westernsoul, guest, cassielyn, Caroll's Pen, help789, guest, and arlena ferrell for leaving me a comment or review. Thanks for encouraging me and giving me a reason to continue :) You guys are the best!**

**Anyway, on with the story—I really hope that you enjoy! Thanks for reading, and if you can, please leave me a note letting me what you think! I love hearing from you!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the ones you recognize, just subjecting them to some good family angst. Sorry if this leaves more questions than answers-I'm getting there, I promise!**

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The sunshine was dazzling, blinding his eyes in an overwhelmingly bright wave of white. It was so hot, and the slight breeze that seemed to whisper from behind him, blowing through his hair, felt cooling on his sweaty skin. The high-pitched voice called to him playfully, and he turned around, the smile on his own face reaching right up into his shining green eyes.

'Joe, come on! Hurry up! You're gonna lose!'

'Wait!' his voice caught in a laugh, and he started to run after the retreating figure in front of him. His small legs couldn't carry him fast enough, and by the time he reached the edge of the woods, the outline of the person in front of him had melted into the dark shadows gathering in the line of trees.

'Come back!'

Another ripple of laughter floated from the little boy's throat as he pushed deeper into the woods, his eyes darting back and forth mischievously as he looked for any sign of his now-vanished companion. His tiny body surged forward blindly as he continued his pursuit.

Suddenly, a cold wave of air crashed into the happy little boy, sending his forward progress to an abrupt halt, a stab of sudden nervousness coming over him. Leaning against a tree, Joe's bright eyes widened in fear as he realized just how far he had gone into the woods. He suddenly found it hard to focus as the dark shadows swirled around him, quickly swallowing up the remaining daylight. Another breath of cold air crashed into him, sending a shudder through his body.

'Is…is anybody t-there?' The little boy's voice quavered in the impending darkness, the laughter and lightness of only a few minutes ago completely gone. He stood tensely, squirming nervously in the lonely silence as he waited for someone to answer.

_Whoosh!_

The suddenly deafening roar of the icy wind sent him into a panic, and he turned around frantically. Instinct to escape taking over, he began to run, blindly, pushing deeper and deeper into the dark and foreboding woods. He only glanced back one time, his body shuddering in a frantic horror as the black shadows came rushing towards him, sucking away the remaining traces of leafy-green light.

His breath caught in his throat as he ran, and he stumbled forward, trying desperately to get away. His sight began to grow dark and his mind began to blur at the utterly wretched wave of complete loneliness that he suddenly felt. His breath hitched in ragged gasps from a lack of oxygen as he struggled to breathe, and the soft cry that escaped his lips sounded pathetic and weak.

'P-papa…_Papa_…'

Why did he say that? Why was he so weak? He was grown up now, why suddenly the little boy endearment? Wait a minute…Papa…Pa?

_Where are you?! Why did you leave me all alone? Why, Pa? Why did you all leave me alone?_

Running blindly, not paying attention to his surroundings, Joe's body was suddenly thrown backwards as he crashed right into something hard. Looking up with wide, panicked eyes, Joe was able to see that he had crashed headlong into the wall of an old shack, the sagging roof showing the building's age. A bright light was shining from the window, and even as another icy wave of air rolled over him, causing his body to shudder involuntarily in another bout of panic, a small stirring of hope suddenly found its way into his heart.

The shrill laughter behind him pulled him back from his momentary reprieve. No longer the playful voice that had called to him earlier, this voice's laugh echoed louder and louder in a maniacal intensity, causing his heart to thunder in his chest. Joe tried to push himself forward towards the door, instinctively knowing that if he made it to the door, there was safety behind it. Unable to breathe, his vision going black, he had somehow managed to drag himself to the threshold when suddenly an icy grip on his leg pulled him back, causing him to stumble and land on his stomach.

'_No!_' His voice hitched in a hysterical scream, and he tried to kick his feet in an attempt to break free from the icy hands that had wrapped around both of his legs, holding him firmly in place. 'No, s-stop! Lemme go! Please…p-please…'

The laughter only grew louder and more sinister as the hands refused to relent, pulling and dragging the terrified little boy away from the security of the building. Kicking and thrashing frantically, the boy struggled for all his worth, his heart stopping at the sound of a sudden hiss in his ear.

'Stop fighting, kid! No one's going to save you…'

Fright giving the little boy a sudden surge of adrenaline, he sucked in a heavy breath of the icy air and kicked his feet in a desperate final attempt to escape. He heard an angry scream and the icy grip released from his leg. Unable to think, he pushed himself up from the ground, scrambling in a frantic dash as the angry voice called out behind him.

'You can't escape, I'll get you!'

Joe ran blindly, his heart hammering as he struggled to suck air into his lungs. Too afraid to look behind him, knowing that the shadowy figure was right on his heels, he didn't realize that he had run out of the woods until he stumbled on an outcropping of rock. Sprawled on the ground, the terrified little boy looked up and his eyes met a wall of solid rock. Not even comprehending his actions, he jumped to his feet and began to climb desperately, pulling himself up, higher and higher off of the ground.

He didn't know anything except the frantic push to reach the top.

'It's safe up there…'

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He had to move, escape. The bitter medicine he'd drunk keeping the small boy trapped in the darkness of the nightmare, his body did the only thing it could do. His subconscious took over, and Joe's slight body began to thrash and push upwards off of the bed and through the empty room, away from his home, up to the top of the mountain. Eyes opened wide but not seeing, his mouth whispered the words as he started his climb.

'It's safe up there…'

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All he wanted to do was go upstairs and check on his little brother. The uneasy feeling that had begun when Hoss had left Joe's room to go downstairs only intensified as he and the rest of his family had discussed everything that had happened. His tender heart nearly breaking at the thought of something terrible having happened to Joe all those years ago, he had been unable to contribute much to the conversation. His stomach sick at the horrible realization that Joe's buried memories were terrifying him, Hoss resolved himself that if there was anything he could do to help his little brother, he would do it.

His father having given him permission to leave, Hoss had almost made it up the stairs when the loud knock had sounded at the front door. Something pulling at him to stop and wait, Hoss watched as his father opened the door slowly, Ben's confusion evident when the ranch foreman and a young cattle hand walked in. Sighing softly to himself, Hoss stood his ground on the stairs, waiting to hear just what they had to say while wondering what more could possibly go wrong.

As he listened to the conversation, Hoss suddenly found himself wishing that he'd just gone upstairs. His stomach twisted in a sickening knot as he watched the color leave his father's face. Hoss couldn't stop the tears that were filling his eyes as he watched his father tremble at the new information; it scared him to see his strong and confident father leaning weakly against the wall as he tried to maintain some sense of composure. Shooting a glance over at his older brother, Hoss could see Adam absently clenching his fists together. The rage he could see on his older brother's face at the words being spoken sent a deep chill through the teenager's body; it was a deep rage that he hadn't seen more than once in his life before, and it terrified him.

Hoss found himself staring at the young ranch hand that was talking to his father. The young man was visibly upset, sweat breaking out on his brow as he stuttered out his words in an almost painful fashion. Hoss's pale eyes wide and focused on the nervous face, his ears starting to tune out the words being spoken. He found he couldn't help the wave of sympathy he felt for the young ranch hand's awkward situation.

'Timmy Rawlins…'

Adam's harsh whisper was like a punch in Hoss's stomach, causing a sudden wheeze of air to escape through the teenager's pinched lips. Frozen in sudden fear, the name invoking bitter memories of a time rather forgotten, Hoss couldn't move as the door was closed and his father turned to look at him. Standing silently for a few moments, it was his father who spoke first.

'It will be okay, son.'

His father's voice wobbled slightly, but the words were meant to encourage and calm. Hoss chose to ignore the tone and instead focused on the words.

'Why don't you go upstairs and check on your brother, alright?'

It was as if a release had broken and Hoss suddenly was able to move again, taking the stairs quickly. A feeling of dread began to creep over him and only intensified as he moved quickly down the hall to his brother's room. Opening the door, Hoss was startled by the iciness of the wind that was blowing through the bedroom. His gaze frozen on the open window, his clouded mind puzzled on just when it had been opened until he regained his senses and turned quickly to his brother's bed.

'Lil' buddy…w-what…when did ya…' His words died in his throat as his eyes widened in sudden alarm.

Heart hammering in his chest, Hoss grabbed at the haphazardly strewn blankets, quickly realizing that his little brother was no longer in his bed. Dropping to his knees, the teenager stuck his head down to look under the bed, his fear growing as his continued search yielded nothing. Adrenaline surging through him and giving him a surge of energy, Hoss staggered to his feet and rushed back to the open door, running down the hall to the top of the stairs. His voice betrayed the terror he too keenly felt.

'Pa, Adam!'

'Pa…it's Joe…he's, h-he's gone…'

Gasping as he forced himself to breathe, Hoss watched, as if in slow motion, his older brother and father turned to look at him. He could see their eyes widen, but they continued to stare at him blankly, almost as if they couldn't comprehend a word he'd said. Hoss felt his panic rising as he stared back, his pale eyes widening in sudden confusion.

_What's wrong with them?_

'Pa, Adam… Joe…he ain't in his room!'

Becoming frantic in his efforts to get someone to understand him, Hoss began to gesture wildly towards his little brother's room, hoping that the motion would force his father and older brother out of the trance that seemed to hold them. Frustration at their continued lack of response finally taking over, he slammed his hands down on the stair railing, the heavy thud echoing loudly through the silent house.

'What's wrong with all of ya?!' His voice was shrill as he screamed at them. 'Don't ya hear what I'm sayin'?! _Joe's gone!_'

It was as if suddenly a dam burst, and Hoss watched as both his father and brother sprang to life, both blinking rapidly as they began to run across the room to the stairs. Seeing that he had finally been understood, Hoss turned around and ran back down the hall towards his little brother's room, his eyes blurring with tears as he mumbled his desperate plea.

'Please, please little buddy…please be okay.'

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Ben had never felt more inadequate in all his life. Standing there, unable to even think clearly as he heard those terrible words, he knew he'd never been this scared in his entire life. Tragedy, heartache, despair: in his life he'd known them all; but the fear that had now crept into his bones caused them all to pale in comparison.

He'd always thought he could keep his family safe, protect them from the roughness and heartache that seemed to come with their way of life. Not that he wanted to coddle his boys; he wanted them to grow into strong, confident men more than anything in the world. It was what their mothers would have wanted, and something he had always confidently felt he could provide. But he felt like a failure now.

Woodenly, the haze fogging his mind, Ben turned from the door and looked at his two older sons. His heart hurt for the despair he saw on his middle son's face, the tears in the pale eyes. The boy had always had such a kind heart, had always been more concerned for others than for himself. Ben could see the fear and uncertainty in the boy's face, and he knew he had to do something, anything, to make it better.

'It will be okay, son.'

_Good Lord, I hope I sound convincing. _

All he could do was pray that the words sounded sincere, that he could hide the doubt growing in the pit of his stomach as he uttered the familiar words of comfort.

'Why don't you go upstairs and check on your brother, alright?'

And his middle son had believed him; or, at least, Ben thought ruefully, had indulged his father's attempt. He'd nodded his head, determination shining through the tears beginning to pool in his eyes, and he'd done his father's bidding, just as he had always done before. Ben couldn't stop the small smile of pride that tugged at his lips as he watched his son climb the stairs and disappear down the hall to his brother's room.

'Pa…what…'

His face grew weary again at the sound of the strained voice, and he turned sad eyes to face his oldest son. Ben studied the young man's determined face, already knowing Adam would not be placated by quick reassurances and gentle words. His son was too much like Ben himself to be fooled: protective to a fault, trusting facts and needing solid proof, never second-guessing his instincts. He was fearless in most anything he did.

But this was his family at stake, and the fear and rage reserved for such times as these that showed in the young man's hazel eyes was very real now. Ben had to move quickly, reassure his eldest in the only way he could before the young man exploded. With facts and truth, and if that didn't work, with the grim determination that he himself was holding on to. It's what family members did for each other, and it was what he was going to do now.

He'd choked the words out, tried to calm the swirling emotions in his heart, hoping he'd brought at least a measure of comfort to his oldest son. He stood staring at Adam, watching the young man struggle with his emotions until his own mind grew fuzzy and his thoughts muddled together. They both stood there silently, Ben trying to figure out when he had lost all control to protect his family, when his middle son's anguished cries broke through the foreboding quiet.

His cloudy mind wasn't working at first, and the words didn't register as he thought he must be dreaming. No, it just wasn't possible. _Joe…gone?_

His youngest was upstairs where he was supposed to be, in his bedroom, sleeping. How could he not be? It must be some kind of mistake, there has to be some other explanation…

And then the scream was louder, hysterical, and Ben felt a fear radiating through his body that he'd only felt a few times before. Snapping from the hazy stupor, Ben sucked in a raspy breath of air as he saw the frantic pale eyes, the hands gesturing wildly up the stairs. And panic sending his body flying forward, Ben pushed his body up the stairs.

He was at his youngest's bedroom door in an instant, Hoss already through the door and Adam right on his heels as he stormed into the room. He heard his own voice calling, surprised at how weak and gruff it sounded.

'Joseph! Where are you? Joseph…_Joseph?!_'

Ben's eyes widened at the sight of the rumpled covers bunched up in the middle of the bed, the small table that usually stood beside the bed holding the water pitcher overturned onto the floor. His ears vaguely heard Hoss's sobbing pleas, but they were only background noise as his eyes searched around the room. There was no sign of his little boy, and he felt his heart breaking at the thought. He closed his eyes and tried to think.

'Pa…the window!'

His eyes snapped open in time to see Adam rush to the open window. Adam turned and stared at his father for just a moment, and Ben nodded. Adam's eyes darkened to black as he swung easily out the window, disappearing into the night. Ben turned and silently ran down the stairs with Hoss right behind him, all the while a desperate prayer running through his mind.

'Please…please. Please let my son be alright.'

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Adam shivered violently in the frosty night air, rubbing his palms over his arms as he forced himself to breathe in and out in slow, even breaths. He stood motionless on the roof next to the open window, willing his pounding heart to calm as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. The full moon that was just beginning to rise over the tree line made his wait a short one as dark, shapeless shadows began taking on familiar characteristics. He had made it across the gently sloping surface to the edge in only a matter of seconds, just in time to see his father and younger brother come out the front door, lit lanterns in hand. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat at the sight of his father, Ben's pale face peering up at him anxiously.

'Son, do you…can you see anything?'

Adam did another cursory glance of his surroundings before shaking his head, his own eyes mirroring the disappointment he could easily read on his father's face. Obviously devoid of any other visitors, the roof was suddenly a very lonely place. He'd enjoyed the solace once; often when he'd been younger, he'd taken his escape to the roof, and even now he knew his little brother would sometimes venture there as well. Even as he knew his father would be horrified at the idea if he ever found out, the patriarch being too protective of his youngest for his own good sometimes, Adam had never once worried about Joe's occasional trips to the quiet place.

But things were different now, and Adam found himself having trouble forcing down the mounting panic that was beginning to build in his chest. The wiry little boy, who when awake seemed to possess the agility and sense of balance usually bestowed on felines, was in no such shape at the present moment. Under the effect of the narcotic that was supposed to help him rest, Adam had no such confidence that his little brother would have the luck to fare so well now. He knew Joe must have fallen asleep prior to his nocturnal venture, as Hoss wouldn't have left him to come back downstairs until he had. Something was very wrong, and he just knew it. He'd seen the sheer panic on Joe's face when he'd been trapped in his sleep that horrible night days prior, and the thought of the little boy trapped again, trying to run away, terrified the oldest Cartwright son.

'Hoss, quick…check the barn!'

Adam's mind snapped back to his current situation at the sound of his father's sharp words. He turned and looked back down to the ground below and watched Hoss streaking away in the dark towards the barn. Ben looked up at his oldest son and jerked his head.

'Adam…son, go back through the window and meet us down here. We have to split up…find him…I don't think he could have gone very far…'

Adam moved as quickly as he felt was safe towards the open window, taking one last glance at his surroundings before he moved to go back in through the opening. A peculiar noise echoing above his head, barely louder than a soft whisper, suddenly caught his attention. He froze, his eyes widening, and called nervously to his father who was still standing on the ground below.

'Pa, did you hear that?' He didn't give his father a chance to answer as his voice caught in a terrified whisper, his eyes now focused on and recognizing the sight above him. 'Oh my God…'

'Adam? Adam, what is it?!' Ben's voice was verging on hysterical as he watched his oldest son standing frozen at the window, his eyes looking upwards. With a sudden burst of urgency, Adam began pushing his body upward towards the peak of the roof. Ben's eyes darted upwards, and he let out a shocked gasp as he realized what Adam had seen.

'Joseph!'

Adam didn't even hear his father as he began to climb, as quickly as he could, towards the highest point of the roof. Perched precariously at the steepest peak, cowering as close as he could to the stone chimney, was his little brother. Adam wasn't even sure how the little boy had balanced himself up on the narrow ledge, but Joe had indeed done just that, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. As Adam got closer to his brother, he could hear a slight whimpering sound coming from the little boy, and his heart broke as he got close enough to hear what the boy was saying.

'No, please…p-please, stop…' Joe's voice kept catching between ragged breaths that were causing the little boy to visibly tremble in terror. 'P-papa…help…h-help me…Adam…s-somebody, _please_…'

Adam reached the top of the roof, moving slowly as he slid himself closer to the distraught little boy. Tears in his own eyes, Adam realized with sick horror that his fear had indeed been real: the little boy in front of him had his bright eyes open wide, but again, they were unseeing. With the little boy in the throes of yet another nightmare, Adam continued to inch forward slowly, his hand stretched out in front of him as he made his move to grab the distraught child.

Bracing his feet against the stone chimney in an attempt to balance his weight and prevent them both from crashing to the ground below, Adam reached out and wrapped his arms around his little brother, engulfing him in a tight embrace. Joe's desperate scream cut through the quiet night, and the little boy began kicking frantically.

'No, _no_! Lemme go, p-please…'

The force the little boy was exerting in his fight to escape threw his older brother backwards, and Adam landed hard against the chimney, the jolt causing a wave of pain as the air was pushed from his lungs. He tightened his grip on the thrashing child and held on as he rebalanced himself. Once he was confident that they weren't in any danger of falling, he began to whisper softly in an attempt to calm the struggling figure in his arms.

'Buddy, Joe, shh…it's okay,' he implored, tears running down his own cheeks as he held the child tightly to his chest, his head bowed down so that his chin rested on the tousled hair of the little boy. 'Joe, buddy…it's me, it's Adam. Wake up, buddy…come on, please.'

The small boy in his arms, somehow seeming to recognize that he was now safe, leaned into the embrace and his body went completely limp. Adam continued to hold Joe tightly, rocking slightly as he tried to maintain his precarious balance on the roof. Joe's eyes had closed, and his breathing began to slow as the terror of the nightmare began to abate. Adam breathed a sigh of relief as his brother's full weight fell against him, and he lifted his still tear-filled eyes at the sound of the sudden voice that called softly to him.

'Adam…son, hand him down to me.'

Adam jumped slightly in surprise at the sound of his father's voice directly below him, and peering down, saw Ben standing on the roof. His father was standing on his tiptoes and had his arms stretched above his head as he waited for Adam to hand the sleeping Joe down to him. Scooting himself slowly down the slippery peak towards his father, Adam got close enough to lower the little boy down to the anxious man below. Ben's arms wrapped around the sleeping child and pulled him close as he began to make his way back towards the window. Adam slid carefully down the rest of the way and followed his father back into the house through the open window.

Hoss was standing next to Joe's bed, his wide eyes staring, his face ashen as he silently watched his little brother sleeping. Ben had laid the child back down on the bed, and had moved across the room to stand, with his back turned, facing the wall. His shoulders were heaving as violent shudders shook him, and Adam knew it was a release of tension as his father spent a moment trying to regain his composure. Adam moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to Joe, his trembling hand running through the little boy's hair as he tried too to gain control of his own pounding heart and shaky breaths. Adam's face broke into a slight smile as he noticed Joe's eyes beginning to open, confusion evident in their bleary expression.

'A-adam? _Adam_!'

Adam gasped as the wind was knocked from his lungs at the impact of the little boy's embrace as he flew into his older brother's arms, his slight body rocked by sobs. The smile vanished off of Adam's face as he stroked up and down the boy's back, trying his best to soothe the boy.

'Buddy…shh, it's okay. Shh, you're safe.'

Joe continued to cry, pushing himself further into his brother's chest as if he was afraid that if he let go his older brother would disappear. Ben knelt down by the bed in front of the two boys, putting his hands on Joe's knees as he turned the boy to face him, Adam keeping his arm securely around his little brother's shoulders. Hoss moved to sit next to Joe on the other side.

'Son…Joseph, look at me,' Ben pleaded sadly at the little boy. Joe continued to sob, but obediently moved his eyes upwards to meet his father's gaze. 'Joseph…son, please. What happened?'

Joe shook his head and closed his eyes, but Ben's grip tightened on Joe's knees, grounding the little boy. Ben felt more than heard the little boy exhale, and Joe's eyes opened wide as his voice came out in a quiet whisper.

'The…t-the voice changed. It got m-mad at me…I had to g-get away…why? W-what d-did I do wrong?' His voice hitched as the tears started again, and he leaned back into Adam's embrace again, staring miserably at his father. 'Why…w-why is this h-happening to m-me?'

Three pairs of eyes stared miserably back at him as silence filled the bedroom. There just wasn't an answer.

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Timmy Rawlins…

The frantic energy of the evening had left, leaving only tired determination in its wake. Joe had fought it as long as he could, but the drug he'd ingested still held it's power over him and he fell into a deep sleep. Still surrounding their little brother, both Hoss and Adam had refused to leave his side, but it had only been a matter of time before they too, had succumbed to their weariness. Adam, leaning against the headboard, had propped himself up with pillows and had Joe cradled against his chest; his head now fallen forward to rest on Joe's hair. Hoss had tried to curl his large frame up next to them, one long leg hanging haphazardly off of the bed. As he pulled a quilt up to cover his sleeping sons, Ben couldn't help but smile slightly as he thought of the aches and pains his oldest boys would have once they woke up after having slept in the uncomfortable positions.

Left alone with his thoughts, Ben's exhausted mind tumbled with all that he had heard and seen over the past few hours. Seeing his youngest perched on the very top peak of the roof, precariously close to falling to serious injury or possibly even worse, had sent a fear into Ben's heart that had nearly paralyzed him. Rubbing a trembling hand across his weary features, he took a deep breath and steeled himself as the familiar emotion hit him. While he had felt terrified, powerless during the whole ordeal, he found the guilt he now felt almost smothering him. He'd let it go on for far too long. He'd been weak, too immersed in his own sorrows to take care of his family. And his son had suffered for it.

Timmy Rawlins.

He hadn't thought on the small boy attached to that name in almost five years, not since Marie had died. So many things had been easier to forget back then, to push aside and leave to themselves, and that name and its owner had been one of them.

Pale haired and blue eyed, Timmy Rawlins had had seven years to Joseph's five that summer. New to the area, without a mama, and left pretty much to himself by a father too busy to pay much mind to a young child, the adventurous waif had found a willing companion in a certain green-eyed little boy. Ben couldn't remember a day that summer that he hadn't seen the two little boys running after each other through the woods or lounging together in the north pasture, just enjoying being little boys in the summertime. Of course, being boys they had gotten into their fair share of trouble; several occasions Ben silently wishing his son's new friend would find himself a new playmate.

And then, that terrible day had happened. Joe had disappeared, they'd spent the night looking for him, and he'd been found at the top of Eagle's Nest, alone, terrified. Ben had always known, deep down, that something more than just running away and being scared to come home had happened to his little boy, something that had never been spoken about. Time and circumstance had made it easier to forget. It had taken months, after he had finally pulled himself out of his grief and despair at Marie's death, for him to realize that the little boy who had been 'the bestest of friends' with Joe had seemingly disappeared. Joe had never mentioned his friend or what had happened ever again, and Ben had just shrugged it off to the fickleness of childhood friendships.

Now, as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the pounding pain that was escalating between his eyes, Ben had to wonder if there wasn't something more. The fact that Ashcroft had asked about Joe in town sickened him, but hearing the mention of Timmy Rawlins unnerved him to no end. It was as if all of the dark times in his family's past had been dragged back out, ready to drown them again in another sea of pain.

'Papa…papa!' A tiny hand reached up and pulled on Ben's shirt. The man stopped the work he was doing and turned, smiling distractedly at the grubby five-year-old in front of him.

'Joseph, what is it, son?' He tried to keep his voice firm, but his eyes twinkled with pride as the little boy grinned maddeningly at him. His son had that power over him, he just couldn't explain it. 'I have a lot of work to do. Speak up, now! What is it?'

'Papa, Mama told me to come out an' play,' the small voice whispered solemnly. He looked at his father with big eyes as he added importantly, 'she's got one a' her 'hidaches' a'gin.'

Ben sighed and shook his head as he pondered what to do with the small boy in front of him. He had so much to do around the ranch today, and with both Adam and Hoss in school, Hop Sing away for the day to visit relatives and Marie now being ill, it was going to be hard getting everything done with the added responsibility of keeping track of one very energetic little boy. Clearing his throat, he gave the small boy a stern smile.

'Well, that's fine, Joseph. I have a lot of work to do around here today, so I want you to stay close and stay out of trouble. Can you do that for me?' His eyes twinkled as the small boy's head bobbed up and down enthusiastically.

'Yes, sir, Papa,' Joe's face was the picture of innocence, his green eyes wide. 'I'll be good.'

'That's good, son,' Ben couldn't help running his hand through his son's wild curls, causing the little boy to scrunch up his nose and pull away in mock disgust.

'Papa…_Pa_, _stop_!'

Ben only laughed at the good-natured whining as the little boy scampered away, and he turned back around, quickly becoming engrossed in the task he had been working on. Another task followed, and another, and before he knew it, the day was almost gone. Hop Sing had returned and had started fixing dinner, Adam and Hoss had come home and begun their chores, and all had seemed well. It was only minutes later when everything began to fall apart…

Ben's eyes focused back on his three sleeping sons as the memories continued to run through his mind. He hadn't seen Timmy at the ranch that day, but, in all fairness, he hadn't been paying much attention either. It seemed possible, therefore, as Timmy's father didn't see much need for his son's attendance in school, that the young boy could have visited that day. Ben's heart sank as his mind began to race with the possibility that Timmy _had_ been with Joe that day…but he _hadn't_ been with Joe on the top of Eagle's Nest and Ben had never seen him again after that. Was it possible? Had Timmy been with Joe that day? And just what had happened to the little blond boy?

'Oh, Joseph,' he groaned, his eyes filling with tears as he watched his youngest sleeping fitfully in his older brother's arms. He knew, something was telling him, that there was much more to all of this. Much more. And he owed it to his son to find out what it was.

'What did you see that day, son?'

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**To be continued…hopefully sooner rather than later. Thanks as always for reading!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: I've had a great day—it's my birthday, I was treated to an incredible dinner by my sweet husband, treated well by all my coworkers, and I managed to get not only this chapter done, but the start of another story as well! Hopefully the chapters don't seem too rushed, but I'm pretty happy with them, so I think we're okay.**

**Just a couple of quick notes on this chapter: this is the longest chapter I have ever written for any story, and this chapter is what I would describe as 'Papa Ben angst.' More pieces are beginning to fall in place, but right now I can't tell you how much longer it is going to take to wrap it all up.**

**Thanks to everyone who has left me a review, favorited, or followed. You guys are great!**

**Anyway, enough talking, let's get on with the story!**

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It was the cramping in his back muscles that roused him at first, and he groaned softly as he tried to shift his position to ease the pain. Unable to move freely, Adam groggily opened his eyes, yawning widely as his eyes focused on the worried face looking back at him.

'Good morning, son,' his father's face smiled tiredly, but Adam could see that the smile didn't reach the worried dark eyes. Ben nodded his head to the window, and Adam followed his gaze to see the first streaks of daylight starting to light the dark sky. 'At least, it's almost morning.'

Adam dropped his gaze down to the weight in his arms, sighing deeply as the little boy he still held shifted fitfully in his sleep. The memories of the previous night rushing back to him, he felt a lump forming in his throat as he lifted haunted eyes up to his father's face.

'Pa, I…what's going to…?'

'Hush, son,' Ben whispered softly, gazing fondly at his oldest son as his hand brushed over the young man's hair and down his cheek. Adam's eyes widened slightly at the welcome, albeit somewhat uncommon, showing of his father's affection. 'I have to thank you, son.' Ben's voice cracked as he turned quickly away. 'You did good, son…you got to him so fast…I don't know what would have happened if…'

'Pa, I…' Adam raised his voice slightly to try and halt his father's pain-filled rambling, the volume behind his words causing the form in his arms to shift restlessly. 'Pa, you can't think like that. Joe's here, he didn't get hurt. Whatever is going on, we're going to take care of it…please, Pa, don't do this.'

'No, Adam,' Ben's eyes turned back to his son's, pleading with him to understand. 'Let me do this, please. I need to say it out loud.' He looked pointedly at his son. 'Thank you.'

'Oh, Pa,' Adam sighed, giving his father a soft smile. 'You don't have to thank me. You know that nothing would have stopped me from taking care of Joe.' He groaned again as another cramp seized his back, and Ben smiled sympathetically.

'Your back hurt, son?' Ben couldn't stop the soft chuckle as Adam blushed slightly, the quick bob of his head confirming what Ben already knew. 'I'm not surprised.' He turned his attention to his middle son, Hoss still precariously perched on the edge of the bed. He nudged the boy softly, and Hoss snorted in his sleep as he tried to pull away from the offending touch. Ben's voice was gentle as he called to the boy. 'Hoss, wake up son.'

Hoss stirred then, his pale eyes blinking dazedly open. Slowly becoming aware of where he was, his eyes widened in surprise as he lost his precarious balance on the bed, and he went tumbling to the floor, landing with a resounding thud. Adam and Ben shared an amused look as the burly teenager, no longer sleepy, sat up quickly, still on the floor, moaning as he rubbed his back.

'Dang it, Pa!' The boy's voice grumbled in a muffled whisper. 'Why'd ya have to go and scare a fella like that!' Suddenly remembering what had happened the night before, he looked back up quickly, his eyes darting back and forth between his father and older brother, concern evident in the pale orbs. 'Pa, how's Joe doin'? What…' he gulped quickly as he stared at his little brother; Joe had somehow managed to stay asleep through all of the noise. 'What happened last night? Why'd Joe go out the window like that?'

Ben sighed as he looked at his two older sons, the amused smile wiped from his face. Both looked worriedly back at their father, and Ben could see Adam tightening his hold on the little boy still cradled in his arms. Knowing he couldn't keep anything from his boys, and not really wanting to do so anyway, he rubbed his hand wearily over his red, tired eyes and began slowly.

'I think Joseph is remembering something that happened to him,' he started, and he could see Adam nodding his head in agreement. 'He doesn't seem to remember anything while he's awake, it is only when he is asleep that his mind tries to remember. I think the nightmares are him remembering, and I think they would scare him so much that it would wake him up.' Ben looked at his youngest sadly before turning his attention back to the older boys' concerned faces. 'My best guess is that the medicine to help him sleep is keeping him from waking up from the nightmares, and not being able to wake up scared him even worse.' He shuddered at the thought of the little boy trapped in a nightmare, unable to escape the torment of the dream. 'He was trapped in the nightmare…'

'And his body was trying to escape,' Adam whispered, hugging the still-sleeping Joe tighter. The room grew silent as they thought on what had just been said.

'P-pa?' Finally breaking the heavy silence, Hoss's trembling voice was scared and had a little boy innocence to it that Ben hadn't heard in years. Ben gazed intently at his middle son, seeing the pain and confusion in the worried eyes. 'Pa, whaddya think happened to him? Ya think it's when he was missin' and you found him at Eagle's Nest?'

'And what about Timmy Rawlins?' Adam's voice was quiet and controlled, but Ben could hear the fear in the calm words. His eyes locked on his father's, and Ben couldn't turn his gaze away. 'Nobody ever saw him again after that time, Pa. It's like he disappeared one day and never came back.'

'I've been trying, all night, to remember that day…what happened right before Joseph disappeared,' Ben openly admitted, watching his sons' faces as he continued slowly. 'I just can't be certain. It _is_ possible Timmy was here that day, but I just don't know. I don't remember seeing him…if only I'd paid better attention…maybe…'

'Do ya think Joe saw somethin' happen to Timmy?' Hoss's voice was calm, his question redirecting his father back to the situation at hand, and Adam shot his brother a grateful look. They both could hear the guilty undertone to their father's voice, and they knew it wasn't going to help their situation any if he began to blame himself for something that had happened years ago. 'Is that what this is all about?'

Ben threw up his hands in frustration, shaking his head in defeat as he admitted his lack of insight. Before Ben could return to wallowing in his own self-doubt, Adam spoke up again, quickly.

'Whatever it was that happened, it seems like Joe's remembering more of it each time,' the young man observed, his brow creased thoughtfully. 'He's never done this before,' he nodded his head towards the window, indicating the sleepwalking. 'The nightmares keep getting worse.'

Ben thought for a second, and, mind made up, he quickly stood, moving towards the bedroom door. His hand on the knob, he turned back around to address the boys still sitting on the bed. 'I'm going to get one of the hands to go and get Doc Martin. Then, I'm coming back up here. You boys will then go to your rooms and you will get some sleep. Real sleep.' He frowned sternly as he saw the looks of protest on the two older boys' faces, the look on his face plainly showing there was no room for argument. 'I mean it, you boys need your rest. I will be right back, and then you will go. Do we understand each other?'

Once seeing their reluctant nods of agreement, Ben made short work of going down and finding Charlie, instructing him to send one of the hands to town to fetch the doctor. Pale rays of sunshine were just breaking over the tree line as he went back into the house, moving quickly up the stairs towards his youngest son's room. Standing in the doorway, as he took in the scene in front of him, all he could do was shake his head, a slight smile ghosting his features.

'Well, boys,' his voice whispered softly as he moved to sit back down in the chair next to the bed, 'I guess you got your way after all.'

He smiled again, pride glowing in his tired eyes, as he reached his hand out and tenderly cupped his little boy's cheek in his palm, brushing his fingers gently across Joe's sleep-flushed skin. Trying to make himself comfortable in the chair, he returned to his silent vigil over his three boys. Now sleeping themselves, the two older ones had returned to their cramped positions, curled protectively around their little brother.

'Who was I kidding anyway? They always get their way.'

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'So what are you telling me?'

Doctor Martin bit his tongue and waited patiently as Ben paced the length of the main room. Sympathetic to the worry he could see plainly written on the man's face, Paul continued to wait and gave his old friend a minute to compose himself. Once Ben had stopped his agitated movement, the good doctor addressed his friend slowly and carefully.

'Well, Ben, it appears that the medicine I gave you for Joe to take has been the cause of his current problems, just as you thought.' Ben frowned at this, and Paul hurried to reassure him. 'I checked him over thoroughly. After examining him, I see no reason to believe that he will have any long-term effects from the dosage. He should be free from any lingering effects of the medicine in a day or two.' He paused a moment as Ben audibly sighed in relief. 'But the sleepwalking does give me cause for some concern. As much as I know he needs the sleep, I feel that the best course of action at this time is to stop the medicine. Right now it seems to be doing him more harm than good.'

'Is there anything else you can give him?' Ben's voice was pleading. 'He seems to be getting worse each day, and the nightmares are stronger every night. God, Paul…he was up on the roof!' Ben shuddered as the picture of his son on the peak of the roof came back to his mind. 'He…he could have been killed!' He ran his hand anxiously through his hair as he turned desperate eyes towards his friend. 'There has to be something you can do for him, anything…'

'Is he talking about what the nightmares are about, has he mentioned anything at all?' Paul questioned, frowning when Ben dejectedly shook his head. The doctor sighed and put his hand on Ben's shoulder in an effort to comfort him. 'Whatever it is that is troubling him, he needs to talk about it.' A thought coming to him, he asked suddenly, 'when is Hop Sing returning home from his trip? He might be able to get Joe to talk about it. He's always had a way with that boy.'

'He should be back in a day or two,' Ben sighed, thinking of his long-time housekeeper and friend. Hop Sing had been away visiting family on an extended vacation, and while all of them had been missing the wiry man, the separation had been especially hard on the youngest Cartwright. Since Hop Sing had been a part of the family even before Joe's birth, and thus had known the little boy from the minute he'd been born, a special kinship had been built between the two, allowing for a special closeness and communication style that no one else in the family could duplicate.

'Well,' Paul said thoughtfully, 'once he's back, have him make one of his teas to help Joe sleep; I don't want to prescribe anything else at this point.' As much as he had tried in the past to deny it, he had to admit that sometimes Hop Sing's herbal remedies were better than his modern medicine. 'Until then, try to get him to talk about it.'

When Ben made out to protest, Paul gave him a stern yet sympathetic stare. 'He needs to remember, Ben. It might seem cruel to push him to remember, but letting Joe keep fighting against the memories is only going to make it worse.' He paused again to give Ben a moment to register what he'd just said before rushing into the last piece of his advice. 'And you need to act normal around him. Even better, get him back into his regular routine. Chores, responsibilities, school…I heard from Adam that you had thought about keeping him out of school for the short-term, but I don't think that is a good idea.'

'But Paul, I…' Ben's words died in an indignant huff as the good doctor simply raised his hand and shook his head. He stared sharply at his friend. 'I need to be here for him, be with him, you know that.'

'Yes, Ben, I do,' Paul said sympathetically, but unyielding in his recommendation. 'But the best thing for that boy of yours is to have normalcy. He's had too much time to sit and worry, and your hovering doesn't help.' He gave Ben a thoughtful, solemn stare. 'I really think that distracting him with normal activities will help. It might even get him to start talking, remember things. Didn't he remember something from one of the nightmares when he was out riding with Adam?'

'Yes, but Paul,' Ben's voice was indignant as he tried to persuade his old friend. 'That's what brought this all on in the first place! He remembered something, and the next minute, he was up on the top of the roof, scared to death!'

'You're convinced that Joe's nightmares have to do with something that happened to him, something traumatic that he's tried to forget, and he's actually repressed the memory as a way of protecting himself,' Paul thought out loud. He saw the frown on Ben's face and hastily continued. 'Don't worry, I agree with your diagnosis.' He smiled slightly at the weak joke, and was immensely relieved when Ben followed suit. His voice lowered and his next words were meant to encourage. 'He's a strong boy, Ben. He's survived through whatever this is thus far, and I have no doubt in my mind that he will be back to his old self soon. Besides,' he chuckled softly as he heartily slapped his friend's back, 'he's got his whole family here for him. You all being here is going to go a long way in helping that boy, Ben.'

Ben refused to be pacified so easily, and he stepped back towards the fireplace, staring into the fire. He absently ran a hand across his tired face and sighed. He could only hope, and his response echoed that thought.

'I sure hope you're right, Paul. I really do.'

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Ben stood on the front porch as he watched Paul ride away into the morning, his hand raised absently in a wave of farewell. Watching his father's expression from a distance, it wasn't until the doctor had disappeared down the road that Adam silently moved to stand next to his father.

It had been Doctor Martin's arrival in Joe's bedroom that had awakened Adam for good; his little brother still sleeping in the young man's arms. Even as Paul had tried to shoo them out of the room, both he and Hoss had stayed with their father at Joe's bedside throughout the whole examination. Ben and the doctor had excused themselves soon after to retreat downstairs to discuss things, and the look on Ben's face had told Adam that his responsibility was to remain with the slumbering child. Joe, still exhausted from his ordeal the night before, had barely opened his eyes during the doctor's ministrations, and once Paul had left, the little boy had easily fallen back into a deep sleep. Adam couldn't help the small smile at the defenselessness on the features of the sleeping child, knowing that Joe needed the rest more than any medicine the doctor could give him. Hoss, too, had become drowsy and had nodded off in the chair their father had vacated, leaning forward his head had dropped down on the bed next to his brother.

The door opening and shutting downstairs alerted Adam to the departure of the doctor, and leaving his brother's room he moved silently down the stairs and out the front door.

'Pa?'

He waited for his father to turn slowly around, and Adam could see the conflict in his father's eyes as he debated to himself just how much he should tell his older son. Adam's face broke out into a hesitant, proud smile as he saw his father's decision, and Ben echoed with a muted smile of his own, sighing heavily before he finally began to speak.

'There's not much that Paul can do for him,' Ben said softly, turning away from his son to stare back out at the trees. 'He says we need to act as if everything is normal, give your brother a normal routine.' His voice broke in a short, angry laugh as he slammed his hand against the railing. 'Like we can pretend that any of this is normal!'

Adam didn't have any words of comfort for his father, but he laid his hand tentatively on his father's shoulder as he, too, turned to stare out into the morning. After what seemed like a long time, Ben shifted his weight and looked back at his son.

'Your brother?'

'He's okay, Pa,' Adam replied quickly, still watching the tense expression on his father's face. 'He's still sleeping. Hoss is with him, he's alright.' He shrugged his shoulders slightly in resignation. 'Sleep's probably the best thing for him, anyway.'

Ben studied his son's face for a moment, before turning his eyes slowly to stare vacantly at the house. Adam just waited patiently, knowing his father needed a moment to sort his thoughts out. He was rewarded for his patience when his father's gruff voice cut through the silence.

'I'm heading into town to talk to Sheriff Coffee,' Ben said quietly, the intenseness clouding his face again. His next words served as a charge to his oldest son. 'Adam, you and Hoss, I want you to keep an eye on your brother. Try to get him to talk about something, anything. I'll be back in a while.' He choked on the words as he continued to stare at his son. There was so much more that he felt he needed to say, but he just couldn't seem to get the words out.

Stepping off the porch and beginning to stride rapidly across the yard to the barn, Ben stopped about halfway between the house and the barn and turned to again face his oldest son. His face was tired, and his smile was grim, but the words he spoke were forceful and full of meaning.

'Take care, son.'

Adam watched until his father disappeared into the barn, then turned slowly and went back into the house. He had understood the unspoken message in his father's voice, could feel the fear that had been radiating from his normally fearless father. His own emotions threatening to get the better of him, he stood motionlessly in the doorway as he tried to focus his swirling thoughts. After a long moment, he finally moved to close the door behind him, his eyes catching sight of the gun belt and holster lying on the credenza, protecting the Colt revolver that he'd been so proud of. Adam had never been one to wear a gun regularly while he was close to home, usually reserving the weapon's appearance for when he needed to go to town or when he was out working away from the house. With all that had been going on, there hadn't been much time lately for hunting or even for target practice, leaving the Colt to sit rather forlornly and abandoned on the credenza. Running his fingers over the gun's smooth surface, he let his thoughts wander over everything that had happened in the month since his birthday.

'Don't worry, Pa,' he whispered softly. Making a decision, he took the gun belt up and secured it firmly around his waist. 'I won't let you down. I promise.'

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The small man had woken in the dead of night, unsure at first as to what had startled him. Even as no obvious source showed itself, he continued to sit silently, listening for whatever it was that had awakened him. It was at that moment, in the oppressive silence, that the first wave of foreboding washed over him. It was nothing that he could explain to anyone else, but he knew the signs, they'd come to him before. And they were not known to be wrong. Knowing what he needed to do, with all thoughts of sleep quickly abated, he moved to pack his few belongings, glad for the fact that he always traveled lightly.

Something was wrong with his family.

He'd known the Cartwrights for over ten years. They were no longer just employers; they were friends, family even. And family was held in high esteem; he should know, as he had more men he considered brothers than anyone he knew. It was an honor to have such family, and honor and noble virtues were given the utmost of respect. It was a respect he was proud to say ran both ways—he knew they felt it as much as he.

It was true he had threatened to leave them to their own devices many times before, but his intent had always been the same. The threats were really only for show, only used when he was angry. They had a way about them, his adopted family; hurting themselves, hurting each other, being careless in their daily interactions. His threats were always well-timed: aimed to make them take pause to think, giving them the time they needed to make things right again.

Something had been wrong for a while, and he'd been worried even as he'd left on his trip to San Francisco. There had always been something about the youngest—the devious nature in which he pulled his pranks, which he himself had often been privileged to have a part in; the seemingly endless stream of questions as he inquired about every aspect of life; the brilliant green eyes that shone with excitement every time he was the recipient of a compliment. Yes, the youngest certainly had the whole family under his spell, and as a proud member of that family, he too had fallen victim to the child's enchantments. And even as he feigned annoyance when the child dared to enter his domain, he knew the boy was aware that it was just another part of the game the two of them enjoyed.

He could just feel that the boy was in trouble; he'd seen the signs even as he had prepared to leave. Gone was the inquisitive, bright eyed child—in his place, just a shadow. Listless, sullen, withdrawn, the boy he knew so well had simply ceased to be. He had hoped that someone would notice, that someone would see that the little one was suffering, but they had been oblivious as always. He clicked his tongue angrily at the thought—how men with perfectly good eyesight could sometimes be so blind.

Yes, he needed to get back to them, and quickly. While he might not admit it to them directly, he missed his family. Mind made up, Hop Sing threw his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave. His family needed him, and he wasn't going to keep them waiting any longer than necessary.

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Ben strode briskly down the sidewalk, his frustration evident as he stomped his way down to the general store. Having stopped first at the sheriff's office, he had been rather dismayed to find that Roy Coffee had not been there. Too impatient to sit and wait, and since it had been several days since they had last picked up the mail, he made his way towards the post office that was located in the general store. He'd just pushed open the door to enter when a burly figure bumped right into him, sending him sprawling. Catching himself before he fell down, he looked up to see what he had run into, his eyes narrowing in a fierce glare when he recognized the figure in front of him.

'Mr. Cartwright, I'm indeed sorry,' Daniel Ashcroft apologized stiffly, a strange light in his eyes as he slowly smiled at the man he had stumbled into. 'Please excuse me.'

Ben stood motionless as he continued to stare at Ashcroft, his eyes widening as his anger started to build. Daniel Ashcroft stared right back at him, the small smile growing larger. A mixture of contempt and something else that he just couldn't explain, that smile sent a wave of revulsion surging through Ben's body. Fighting the urge to use his fist to wipe the smirk off of the man's face, he used every ounce of his self-control to growl out his response.

'Mr. Ashcroft,' he muttered, not even bothering to try and disguise his obvious disgust. Taking a step backwards, he stared defiantly at Ashcroft, radiating anger. He moved to go around the offending man, lowering his eyes to the floor so he wouldn't have to look at him, when the shadow of the man moved towards him, effectively blocking his path. Ben looked up again, his eyes blazing.

'What is it you want, Ashcroft?' he growled fiercely, his hands clenching tightly into fists. The man was directly in front of him again, the unnerving smile still on his face. Ashcroft didn't say anything for a moment, causing Ben to shake with rage. 'Get out of my way!'

Ben could feel eyes watching him, but he scarcely paid attention to the townspeople standing in the store, gaping in disbelief at the unfolding altercation. He heard the storekeeper's bell jangle cheerily as the front door quickly opened and shut behind him, but he couldn't make his mind process anything but the cold rage he felt towards the man in front of him.

'How's your son doing, Mr. Cartwright?' The man's eyes practically gleamed as he asked the question.

'What did you just say?' Ben's voice was deadly.

'Is he alright?' Ashcroft completely ignored the venom in Ben's voice, his face slowly breaking out into a large, predatory grin. 'I heard he's been having some terrible nightmares…have you been able to find the cause of the poor boy's suffering?'

Ben stared at the man, dumbstruck. He was having trouble getting his mouth to work properly, and he stuttered painfully. 'W-what…h-how did y-you…?'

'Oh,' Ashcroft continued blithely, seeming to enjoy the barrage of emotions displaying on Ben's face. 'The people in this town are real friendly. They'll practically tell you anything you want to know, especially if you ask them nice enough.' He chuckled at his own joke, and then his eyes became hard and distant as he stared at Ben. His voice was cold and abrupt. 'And I like asking questions.'

Ben felt his chest tightening, and his breath came out in ragged gasps as cold fear overtook the rage he'd been feeling. He couldn't think, couldn't move as he continued to stare at the man in front of him. Ashcroft was watching him intently, almost daring him to make a move.

'I take your silence to mean you haven't yet,' the man scoffed as he answered his previous question himself. He sighed with mock pity. 'Poor boy.'

Ashcroft casually strolled over to the counter, leaning his elbow on the smooth surface. He turned back to the dumbstruck man in front of him.

'You know,' Ashcroft suddenly laughed, his voice dripping with venom, 'maybe you should just tell that kid of yours to grow up a little. Sounds like he's nothing but trouble, needs to learn about life…' He grinned coldly at Ben before turning his back and calling over his shoulder, 'Maybe somebody should teach him, you know?'

The words sent a blazing charge of anger through Ben's body, suddenly pushing him forward in a surge of blind rage. Taking two steps forward, he reached out and grabbed the man, spinning Ashcroft around to face him. Holding him by the collar, he began to shake the man harshly, shouting out his words between harsh, angry breaths.

'If you…_so much as_…come NEAR my son…' Ben choked on the words as he shook the man harder, 'I promise you…you won't be able to hide…I'll follow you to the ends of the earth…do, do you understand me?!'

Ben's vision was blurring, fear and rage causing him to tremble as he shook the man in his grip. Ashcroft was not fighting his attacker; he stared calmly at Ben, chuckling coldly as he saw the torment in Ben's eyes. The sneering sound pushed Ben over the edge, and, his emotions reaching a breaking point, he lifted his fist and sent it sailing towards the man's face, connecting solidly with Ashcroft's jaw.

Ashcroft stumbled backwards, his eyes widening as Ben's rage continued to burst forth. Just as Ben reached out to grab hold of Ashcroft again, strong arms latched onto him, pulling him backwards and away from Ashcroft.

'Ben, _stop_!' Sheriff Roy Coffee's harsh voice demanded as he continued to pull Ben away from Ashcroft. The man stood quietly, leaning against the counter as he wiped at his bloody lip. Ben was thrashing in Roy's grasp, trying to get away.

'Roy, let me go!' Ben yelled angrily, trying to pull away from Roy's grasp as he lunged at Ashcroft again.

Roy shook his head and moved to the door, using Ben's own momentum against him as he succeeded in shoving the angry man out of the store and into the waiting arms of a deputy. Slamming the door behind him, Roy turned to glare at the unnervingly calm man standing in front of him.

'What's going on here?!' he demanded harshly, looking at Ashcroft suspiciously.

The man looked up at the sheriff, his eyes narrowing slightly. His voice was cool and collected when he finally spoke.

'It was just a misunderstanding, I can assure you. I'm sorry for the disturbance.'

Roy was surprised at the man's words, and continued to study the man suspiciously. 'Are you sure there's nothing more to that?' he asked gruffly, still not convinced.

'I assure you, Sheriff,' Ashcroft said rather absently, moving to the window to stare out at the street. An unexplainable thoughtfulness came into his eyes as he watched Ben's continued fighting with the deputy leading him towards the sheriff's office. He turned back to the sheriff, his face unreadable. 'I give you my word. This will not happen again.'

Not satisfied with the answer, but unable to find a reason to drag the man to his office, Roy just huffed his annoyance and walked out of the store, slamming the door behind him. Ashcroft turned back to the window, watching the sheriff walking towards his office across the street. No one left in the store heard the man mumbling to himself.

'I assure you, Sheriff, it won't happen again.'

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'What do you mean there's nothing we can do?!'

Ben's voice echoed loudly through the small sheriff's office, and the sheriff winced at the sound. Roy had been met upon his return to his office by a very agitated Ben Cartwright. Needing some answers, and seeing as the other party in question hadn't told him anything useful, Roy had tried to get some information out of his friend. Needless to say, he hadn't gotten very far, what with Ben's current emotional state.

'That…that _Ashcroft…_' Ben spit the name out contemptuously as he glared at his old friend, 'has been all over town, Roy!'

'Now, Ben,' Roy began warily, pinching the bridge of his nose in anticipation of what the reaction was going to be when he continued, 'you know for a fact that he hasn't done anything warranting my intervention…'

'He hasn't done anything?!' Ben stared at his old friend, incredulous, his face flushing in rage. He moved quickly to stand right in front of the sheriff, shaking his fist right in his face. 'He's been asking all over town about my son…_MY SON_…and you tell me he hasn't done anything?!'

'And so far, all he's been doing is asking,' Roy countered coolly, knowing they weren't the words his friend wanted to hear. 'It's not against the law for a man to be making conversation…'

'Making conversation,' Ben muttered angrily, clenching his fists in anger as he again paced the small jailhouse office. He stopped and again glared at his friend. 'Just what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Wait for him to act on his 'conversation'? He's talking in threats, he _threatened_ my son, Roy,' his voice trembled as he spoke. 'You know it, we all know it.'

'Ben, I…' Roy's words died on his lips as his friend began to pace again. Truthfully, he knew that Ben was right, the man was acting in a way he found suspicious, and it bothered the seasoned lawman. But if Roy Coffee was one thing, he was dedicated to his sovereign duty to uphold the law. Regardless of how he felt about it, no laws had been broken by the man, and his hands were tied in the matter.

'Well then, I'm telling you now,' Ben's voice was deadly as he turned to stare coldly at his friend. 'I'm telling you right now, if that man comes near my son, I will not hesitate to…'

'Ben!' Roy's eyes flashed fire as he shouted angrily. 'You coming in here talking about vigilante justice…it won't work, and you know it!' He grabbed at his friend's shoulders and tried to shake some sense into the man, but Ben pulled angrily away. 'You're just lucky that man didn't press charges! You attacked him, after all!' Roy saw his words having little effect, and tried again. 'The law is the law, you know that! Be reasonable, man!'

'Reasonable…' Ben muttered dismally, his anger dissipating as fear began to take over. He dropped wearily into the chair by the woodstove, resting his head in his hands. Sighing heavily, he took a moment to compose himself and then lifted determined eyes to meet those of one of his oldest friends. 'Have you been able to find out anything about him?'

'Not much, I'm afraid,' Roy shrugged apologetically. He'd been keeping his eye on Ashcroft ever since the day that Joe had collapsed in the street. While Ben Cartwright was known for the way he fiercely protected his family, it wasn't an unknown fact that the youngest Cartwright had others wrapped around his finger, too. Roy had always had a special fondness for the young boy, and ever since he'd heard Ashcroft mention Joe Cartwright, he had kept sharp surveillance on the man. 'He came into town about two weeks ago. Doesn't do much, just talks a lot,' he continued. 'Asks lots of questions; I hear that most of them are about things that happened quite a ways back.'

Ben nodded dejectedly at the expected, yet not hoped for, news and put his head back down in his hands. When he lifted his head again, Roy could see the visible tiredness in his friend's eyes, Ben's face pinched and looking old. Ben's voice was rough with emotion when he asked his next question.

'Did he mention Timmy Rawlins?'

Roy's eyes dropped and he looked down at the floor, an uncomfortable silence falling between the two old friends. He'd been hoping that the rumors circulating around town could have been kept from Ben, but it appeared that was not going to be the case. He coughed, and nodded his head slowly.

'Roy,' Ben's voice rasped as he stared intently at the sheriff, 'what happened…what happened to that boy? What's this man trying to find, and what…what does it have to do with my son?'

'Timmy disappeared, as you know,' Roy began, watching his friend uneasily. Ben nodded, and Roy continued carefully. 'By the time that loving father of his got around to reporting him missing, any trail there might have been had gone cold.' He sighed his disgust; the memory of those few weeks still haunted him. 'We never did find him.' His voice was wooden, and the excuse he provided sounded weak even to his own ears. 'What with that stage robbery and then the boy disappearing…well, there just weren't enough men to search…'

Roy's voice faded off into a contemplative silence. In all of his years as a lawman, there were some things he'd witnessed in the execution of his duties that he would give anything to forget. Timmy Rawlins' disappearance was just one of those things.

Roy sighed again as the memories came flooding back. It had started out with the shockingly bold daylight robbery of the San Francisco-bound stage. The attack had happened right at midday. The coach had stopped for a lunch break at Eagle station, just a few miles outside of Virginia City. Especially brutal, the attack had left the stage driver and one male passenger dead. Roy had learned later that the dead passenger had been carrying a considerable amount of money with him, mostly in gold that had been stored in the stage's lockbox. The other passengers had been too traumatized by the ordeal to be of much help, although they all had been able to confirm that there had been only one robber, making the whole attack all the more daring.

From then on things had only continued to get worse; just a few hours after the robbery, Adam had ridden into town, panicked with the news that Joe was missing and that they needed help in searching for him. Forced to divide his resources, Roy had done his best to cover both the youngest Cartwright's disappearance and the stage robbery. He had been able to feel a slight measure of relief in the fact that Joe had been found, seemingly no worse for wear, early the next morning.

That had been the only good news. Making the decision to stay and help Ben search for his lost child, the search for the man who'd held up the stage had fallen apart. The men he'd sent after him had lost the trail once the man had moved further up into the mountains. Roy had been in the process of reorganizing the men in an attempt to try and pick up the trail again when Jacob Rawlins had finally wandered into town. After a visit to the saloon, in which the man had quickly gone and gotten himself into trouble, Rawlins had been forced to visit the sheriff, and that was when he had somewhat reluctantly told the sheriff that Timmy had disappeared.

The man's lack of emotion as he spoke of his son was what had unnerved Roy from the start; Jacob Rawlins seemed indifferent to the fact that his son was missing. Roy had had half a notion at the time that the man himself had been somehow responsible, but with no evidence, he hadn't been able to move on the theory. Forced to work with little to go on, and despite his best efforts, no trace of the boy had ever been found. The stage robbery had never been solved either, and then there had been the terrible news just a few days later that Marie Cartwright had been killed in a horse-riding accident…

'I never knew…I never knew that that boy had disappeared,' Ben muttered, and Roy was jolted from his thoughts. Giving his friend a sharp stare, he noticed the guilty look on Ben's face, and he couldn't stop the compassion that colored his voice.

'Ben, with all due respect,' the man said awkwardly, dismissively, 'you were dealing with so much at the time…it didn't seem appropriate to pull you into it…'

'A child was missing.'

Ben was distraught at the thought of a child lost. He shuddered as he remembered when Joe had been missing, the fear he'd felt, the overwhelming relief when he'd been finally found. His next thought terrified him.

_What if it had been my son, missing and never seen again?_

At the time, he'd been so wrapped up in his own grief, his own loss, he hadn't even taken pause to think about a small child, a child who had been friends with one of his sons. A little boy he'd never really taken the opportunity to get to know; if he'd only paid better attention, he would have seen the little boy had been neglected, maybe he could have protected him.

'He might have been at my house the day Joe disappeared, Roy. He might have been right there…if only I'd paid better attention…'

'Ben, you aren't responsible for any of this…'

'Responsible!' Ben shouted out angrily, jumping to his feet and kicking the wood box to vent some of his overwhelming frustration. He spun to stare at the sheriff, his eyes wide. 'Don't tell me I wasn't responsible! We are all responsible to keep the children in this town safe…all of them…' His words died on his lips and Roy lowered his eyes to the floor, dismally agreeing with his angry friend as he blinked rapidly to stop the mist beginning to form in his eyes.

Ben had turned to stare out of the window, willing his body to stop trembling as he struggled to regain control. Roy gave his friend a moment to compose himself, taking leave to sit at his desk. He lifted his eyes again when he heard the groan from his friend.

'Oh, dear God…'

Roy jumped in his chair as Ben's shoulders hunched, dread forming a lump in his throat that he tried to swallow as he stared at his old friend. Ben's face had gone white and he was shaking uncontrollably; Roy hadn't seen his friend so pale since Marie had died, and moving quickly, he put his hands on Ben's shoulders to steady him as he helped him to sit in the desk chair.

'Ben, what is it?'

'Ashcroft…he was asking about Timmy…' Ben looked up at his longtime friend with dull eyes. 'And Joseph. He…he thinks my son is involved in Timmy's disappearance, doesn't he?'

Roy stood there awkwardly, clearing his throat gruffly, not knowing what to say. Ben stared at him intently; any hope he'd felt that his friend would tell him he was wrong was short-lived; Roy was not disagreeing with him. He exhaled sharply.

'But _why_?'

Ben waited for a response, and getting none, asked again, an edge to his voice. 'Is that what you think? Do you thing Joseph was involved? Do you think my son had a part in Timmy's disappearance?!'

'Ben, of course not!' The anger in Ben's voice had startled him, and he spit out his words rapidly. 'Joe was five years old! If…if anything, even if Joe was with Timmy that day, he…he's…'

'What are you saying, Roy?'

Roy looked at the distraught man seated in front of him, one of his oldest friends reduced to a shell of his former self. Knowing his friend would blame himself regardless of what he said, Roy was careful with his next words. He looked at Ben, his eyes sad for his friend and for two small boys who had suffered through a terrible ordeal, an ordeal that even years later still refused to leave them alone.

'He's as much a victim in all of this as Timmy is.'

Ben groaned and lowered his head into his hands, the emotion overcoming him as tears slid unashamedly down his cheeks.

'Oh, son,' he whispered softly. He heard the gentle click of the jailhouse door as Roy wordlessly excused himself to give him some privacy. 'I promise…if it's the last thing I do, I'll find out the truth.'

He'd made up his mind, and nothing was going to stop him. Two little boys would get the justice they deserved, and nothing was going to get in his way.

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**Comments are always appreciated-thanks as always for reading :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I am so, so sorry that it has taken me so long with this update! I went on a lovely vacation to the coast of Florida, so needless to say, my writing did not get done. I was hoping to post before, but just didn't make it – and then vacation took over. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it!**

**Thanks to help789, BJ2, BettyHT, judyann, Aurea, Wendylouwho10, MJ, gaben, and ElizabethLostS for the feedback. I absolutely love hearing from everyone—you guys are the best. And as an aside to Elizabeth—yes, there's going to be a lot more and I promise I will finish this story. I never want to be guilty of leaving a story hanging!**

**And now just a quick note on this chapter: I have read a number of fanfics that incorporated a stronger friendship between two characters wherein they can communicate fluently in a foreign language. I've always really liked this idea, and have used it here. I make no claim to it as being mine, just am borrowing it for a bit. This dialogue is formatted in italics for clarity.**

**Well, I think that is enough for one day—on with the story! Thanks as always for reading… and, if you can spare a minute, I'd love to hear what you think! Enjoy! :)**

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Feeling completely drained, it was the sound of heavy footsteps outside on the boardwalk that brought Ben's head back up from where it had been resting in his hands. He'd lost all track of time after the tears had subsided, just sitting and brooding, his mind wandering over random thoughts. The door to the sheriff's office opened, and Ben's eyes shifted in time to see the concerned expression on Roy's face. He stood quickly, groaning slightly as he stretched in an attempt to ease the cramping in his back.

'Ben, I…I just want you to know…' Roy stood in front of his friend, his gaze down on the hat he was twisting in his hands. He looked up quickly, his face serious. 'I don't intend to see any vigilante justice in my town.' He moved quickly to continue when he saw Ben's face reddening with a renewed anger. 'But I also don't intend to let this go on any longer than it already has.' Determined eyes met Ben's angry ones. 'It's time to get justice for both of those boys; it's been too long already.'

Ben understood the offer in his friend's words, and his anger abating slightly, he allowed himself a small smile. 'Thanks, Roy,' he whispered, extending his hand to the sheriff to shake. Pumping Roy's hand up and down firmly two times, Ben then turned to the door as he put his hat back on his head.

'I'll keep an eye on him, Ben,' Roy said firmly as Ben opened the door to leave. 'Ashcroft's been talking to a lot of people. He's bound to get careless sometime, let too much slip.' He paused thoughtfully for a moment. 'You're right, there is more to him than just questions. I'll get word to you, if I find out anything; you have my word on that.'

Ben just nodded, unable to speak as he stepped outside.

'Take care of him, Ben.'

Ben turned to look at the weathered sheriff, a lump in his throat as he saw the emotion visible on Roy's face. He nodded again, determination evident on his chiseled features. 'I will, Roy. You can count on it.'

Closing the door behind him, Ben began to make his way down the busy street towards the livery. His short trip to town had stretched into hours, and his horse was no longer at the hitching post where he'd left him. Ben ruefully smiled as he knew that, in the hours that he'd been in town, his friend had seen to his horse. The smile died on his lips as frustration at the situation again took over. A part of him knew that Roy's hands were tied in the matter, that he was doing all he could, that the sheriff had done what he'd thought best those five years ago. But doing their best didn't seem much of a consolation to Ben as he continued to hurry down the street, his mind still reeling to some extent with what he'd learned in his few hours in town.

'Mr. Cartwright, is that you?'

Ben didn't even hear the quiet voice at first, so consumed was he with his thoughts that he kept right on walking. The voice called to him again, more forceful this time, and Ben came to an abrupt halt at the touch he felt on his sleeve.

'Mr. Cartwright?'

Ben lifted his eyes to stare at the vaguely familiar face in front of him, the young man's brown eyes studying him intently. Ben's brow furrowed as he eyed the young man from top to bottom, taking in the fancy boots, the expensive clothes, and the sandy blonde hair sticking out in slightly awkward tufts from under the felt-lined hat. Not quite able to place the young man, he was forced to resort to asking.

'And you? Is there something I can do for you, son?'

The young man smiled at the endearment, and his eyes lit up with a hint of mischief when he realized the predicament the older man was in. Extending his hand, he joked lightly,

'Mr. Cartwright, I'm not surprised you don't recognize me, it's certainly been a few years.' He watched the older man's face with amusement as he noticed the recognition starting to dawn. 'It's me, Josh And…'

'Josh Andrews!' Ben's memory returned to him, recognition bright as he took the extended hand and pulled the young man towards him, giving him a quick embrace. He pushed his oldest son's former best friend away from him so that he could look at him appraisingly. 'It's good to see you, boy! What have you been doing with yourself, young man?'

'Well, I decided to take myself on out to see what all that fuss was about regarding those California gold mines,' the boy responded easily, pulling his hat from his head and restlessly running the brim through his fingers.

'And?' Ben prompted, momentarily allowing himself to forget the problems that had brought him to town in the first place. He had always been fond of Josh Andrews; the boy had befriended his son Adam when times had been difficult, and Ben had always felt somewhat fatherly towards the boy. 'Did you find out what 'all that fuss was about'?'

'If you're asking if I struck it rich,' Josh grinned widely, 'I guess it wouldn't be bragging too much to tell you I've done pretty well for myself. Got me a claim, hit a pretty rich vein soon after.' He chuckled, no modesty in his tone as he continued. 'Some of those old prospectors just couldn't stand it. 'Beginner's luck,' that's all they could say.'

'That's wonderful, son,' Ben smiled back, noting the fineness of the young man's impeccable suit. He mused at how the boy sure appeared to be doing well for himself. 'And what brings you back to Virginia City?'

'Just catching up, mostly,' Josh's eyes flitted up and down the busy street before settling back on Ben's face. 'Ma and Pa are getting up there in years, now, and I wanted to see how they were making out with things.'

'Does Adam know you're here?' Ben's thoughts returned to his sons at home, feeling a slight twinge of guilt over the whole matter. He felt badly that his oldest had not been able to get away from the ranch lately; if he had, he would have met up with his friend sooner. Circumstance had lately not allowed for much in the way of relaxation or leisure.

'I saw him the other day,' Josh nodded with a hesitant smile, and Ben nodded back, relieved that at least his son knew the boy was in town. Josh cleared his throat before he continued, and his next words expressed an obvious concern. 'Actually, that was what I wanted to ask you about…'

'What is it, son?' Ben said kindly, seeing the hesitation on the young man's face.

'Mr. Cartwright…well, the day I saw Adam, he was all worried about his little brother.' Josh watched as the animation faded from Ben's face, replaced with a look of grim determination. 'Hoss said it was Joe. Mr. Cartwright, if you don't mind me asking…is Little Joe alright?'

Ben's emotions again churning just below the surface, he pondered his words carefully. Unsure of how much information he felt comfortable in giving to the young man in front of him, he cleared his throat gruffly, his tone flat and resigned.

'Well, son,' he said softly, looking deeply into the young man's concerned eyes, 'he's been going through a hard time right now. Seems like something happened to him a while back, and now he's starting to remember it. He's been having nightmares, and not sleeping well.' He paused and saw the look of surprise on Josh's face. 'But he'll be as good as new, once he gets it out of his system.' He wished he could believe the words, even as he thought on the unmentioned promise he'd earlier made to two little boys.

'Gosh, Mr. Cartwright,' Josh sighed, squinting critically at the older man. 'That sounds really rough. I sure do hope he starts feeling better real soon.'

'Thank you, young man,' Ben smiled warily. His eyes brightened at his next thought. 'Why don't you come out to the Ponderosa sometime soon? Adam would be glad to see you; it's been hard to get away at the moment, what with everything that's been going on.' He smiled warmly at the young man's momentary reluctance. 'I'm sure all of the boys would be glad to see you.'

Josh pondered for a moment, and then lifted his eyes back to Ben's face. Still seeing a slight lingering of indecision, Ben gave the young man another small smile and joked weakly,

'Of course, that's if you're planning on staying in town for any length of time. Or do you have more gold to mine?'

Josh laughed and shook his head. 'Nah, I guess the gold could wait a little while.' He could see by the way that Ben was looking up and down the street that the older man was in a hurry to leave. 'Sure, I'll stop up and see Adam, sometime real soon.' He smiled again. 'Tell him I asked after him?'

'It was good to see you, son,' Ben said hurriedly, his thoughts now focused on his home and his boys. 'I'll tell Adam you'll be out to see him at some point.' He shook hands with the young man again, tipping his hat in Josh's direction as he turned to make his way back to the livery. 'Take care of yourself, son.'

'You too, Mr. Cartwright,' Josh said hastily, watching the man leave. He called after him hesitantly. 'Mr. Cartwright?'

'Yes, what is it son?' Ben turned to face the young man again.

'I sure hope everything works out with Joe alright.' Josh's voice was quiet. 'He always was a real good kid, you know.'

Ben smiled weakly and nodded his head at the young man in front of him, turning back around as he continued to the livery. Josh stared after the retreating figure, his expression thoughtful, his words more for himself than anyone else.

'Yeah, he always was a real good kid.'

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His eyes were heavy, and his limbs felt like lead, but wakefulness kept pushing at him. Unable to fight against it any longer, Joe sighed deeply and struggled as he pulled his eyes open, blinking confusedly at the brightness of the light in his room.

It was too bright in the room; the sun's rays were higher up on the blankets than they would be if it was the time he usually awakened to do his chores. It must have been pretty late, long past breakfast, and the realization left him incredibly confused. Unsure of just what to make of this only conclusion his tired mind could come up with, Joe looked around the room hesitantly, finally spotting Hoss sitting in the big chair by his bed. The teenager's head was leaning back, his mouth open, a slight snore escaping from his throat.

'H…hoss?'

Joe's throat was dry, and the word came out in a raspy croak, but it nevertheless got the older boy's attention. Hoss snapped awake instantly, his pale eyes widening first with confusion, then concern as he looked towards his little brother.

'Shortshanks! Yer finally awake!' He stated the obvious, leaning forward to touch his brother's shoulder. Joe shied away slightly, but Hoss ignored the motion, choosing to focus on Joe's immediate needs. 'How ya feelin'?'

'W…water,' Joe croaked, and Hoss sprung to his feet and rushed over to the water pitcher on the dresser, pouring a glass quickly. Handing it to his little brother, Hoss watched as Joe began to drink greedily.

'Careful, little buddy,' Hoss admonished, reaching his hand to take the glass from Joe's hand. Joe shot him a dirty look, and Hoss explained. 'Ya don't wanna get sick, drinkin' too fast. Just slow down a bit.'

Joe sighed a bit resignedly, taking just another small sip before letting Hoss have the glass. He yawned widely as he settled back down among the pillows on his bed; he was just so tired. He closed his eyes briefly, opening them again as he felt eyes on him. His brow puzzled into a frown as he watched Hoss staring at him intently. Still curious as to what was going on, he decided to put his thoughts into words.

'What…what time is it?'

Hoss smiled gently. 'Well, buddy, ya sure didn't seem ta want ta wake up. Reckon it's about high time for some lunch.'

Joe gaped at his brother incredulously. It was no secret that he was generally somewhat reluctant to get up in the morning, and that his older brother had to sometimes 'help' him out of his bed, but he'd never actually stayed asleep for so long. In spite of himself, his wide eyes began to fill with tears, and his voice trembled as he spoke.

'Pa…is Pa mad at me?'

Hoss's eyes widened in concern at the sight of his little brother's tears, and he rushed to join his brother on the bed, pulling the squirming boy into a tight embrace. His own voice rough with emotion as a result of the confusion and fear he saw on Joe's face, he spoke quickly to reassure the trembling child in his arms.

'Aw, Shortshanks, he ain't mad at ya,' he soothed. 'We're all just so worried about ya, that's all.'

Joe allowed himself to relax into his brother's comforting embrace. Hoss continued to keep him close, running his large hands up and down his little brother's back in a gesture of comfort. The little boy's mind began to wander, remembering bits and pieces of what had happened the night before.

'W…what happened?' His eyes narrowed as he pulled away from his older brother. 'Where's Pa? And Adam? What's goin' on?'

'I'm right here, little buddy,' Adam answered as he quickly strode into the room. Sitting down on the bed next to his brothers, he brushed a hand gently through Joe's hair. Looking straight into his little brother's worried green eyes, Adam continued quietly in his attempt to soothe the boy. 'Pa just had to go to town for a while. He'll be back soon.'

Adam could see the doubt in his little brother's eyes as Joe turned his head away. His throat tightening as he saw the despair on the boy's face, Adam moved his hand from Joe's hair to cup the little boy's chin, lifting it slightly so that he could look deeply into the boy's emerald eyes. His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke.

'Joe, everything is going to be alright, you have to believe me. Now, do you remember anything that happened last night?'

Joe's chin trembled, and his eyes began to fill again as he stared somewhat blankly at his two older, concerned brothers. Hoss had slid even closer to the little boy, his arm draped across the slight shoulders; Adam still held the boy's chin in his hand, giving him a small smile to encourage him. Joe's eyes grew darker as he began to think about what his brother had asked him.

'I…I remember that nasty medicine,' he mumbled softly. Shooting a glance at Hoss, he added, 'Hoss brought it to me.'

Hoss dropped his eyes to his lap, the guilt beginning to line his face, and Adam felt a twinge of sympathy for his younger brother. He smiled weakly at Joe, urging him to continue.

Joe bit his lip as he concentrated. 'I got really sleepy…I think I fell asleep?' He looked at his brothers for confirmation, and they both nodded solemnly. Joe's eyes widened and he shivered as he tried to pull away from his brothers. Adam could see the little boy's breathing start to hitch, and when Joe spoke again his voice was barely a whisper. 'Why, why'd he do it?'

Hoss's arm tightened on his brother's shoulders, and he and Adam exchanged a nervous glance above Joe's head. Willing his voice to stay calm, Adam's eyes found his brother's again, and he hoped the contact would calm the distraught boy.

'Who, Joe? Who was there?'

Joe shook his head violently as he desperately attempted to again pull away from his brothers, trying to avoid the intentness in Adam's eyes. Adam's hand refused to move, and Joe was forced to maintain the eye contact. The little boy gulped back a sob as tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks. Adam felt sick at being the cause of this latest anguish for the little boy. But knowing that it was going to help Joe in the long run to talk about it, he pursued.

'Joe, you need to tell us. What happened, what do you remember?'

The front door downstairs opening and closing echoed suddenly through the silent house, giving Joe the reprieve he had been looking for. Adam and Hoss both turned towards the sound, expecting to see Ben Cartwright striding through the bedroom door only seconds later. When their father didn't appear, Hoss and Adam again exchanged a look before Adam rose slowly to his feet. Hoss pulled the whimpering Joe even closer to him, and the stunned child didn't resist the strong arms that held him firmly.

'I'll go see what Pa found out in town,' Adam mumbled to Hoss, who nodded absently in return. The young man quickly left the room and went down the stairs, anxiety building as he tried to stop his racing thoughts.

Not seeing his father in the big room, where he'd expected him, Adam's anxiety only continued to grow. Hearing a noise in the kitchen, he turned and walked towards the sound, practically falling over the small man who had suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway.

'Hop Sing!' Adam's voice was a mixture of surprise and relief at the sight of the man. 'I thought you weren't coming back until the end of the week.' He sighed again and gave the cook a slight smile. 'I can't help saying that I'm glad you came back early.' He noticed the steam wafting from the bowl the man was holding in his hand, and his nose crinkled at the unappetizing smell that came with it. 'What's that?'

'For youngest brother,' Hop Sing said quietly, taking in the surprise on Adam's face. He moved around the young man and continued towards the stairs, offering an explanation over his shoulder. 'He not himself for long time. He needs this.'

'How…how did you know to come?' Adam's voice was rough with emotion, and Hop Sing stopped on the stairs for a minute to turn to the oldest Cartwright son. He could see the concern on the young man's face, and feeling sympathetic to the obvious depth of emotion, he gave Adam a tiny smile.

'Hop Sing just know that boy in trouble.' He turned and headed back up the stairs towards Joe's room, disappearing from Adam's view as he turned the corner.

Adam was just about to follow Hop Sing back up the stairs when the sound of an approaching rider met his ears. Glancing quickly out the window, he recognized the figure of his father atop his horse, racing quickly through the yard. Adam was out the door and on the porch to greet the man before Ben had even stopped in front of the hitching post.

'Pa?'

Adam looked inquisitively at his father, unsure of what to make of the look on his father's face. Ben appeared lost in his thoughts, and upon hearing his son's voice, he started quickly, his eyes widening slightly. Looking up to meet Adam's worried face, he smiled grimly.

'Hello, son.' His eyes shot up to look at Joe's bedroom window. 'Everything alright here? How's your brother?'

'He's been sleeping, mostly,' Adam answered honestly. 'He just woke up a few minutes ago. Hop Sing went up to give him…'

'Hop Sing?' Ben questioned. Seeing Adam nod in his direction, a faint smile crossed Ben's features. His next words were more to himself than the young man in front of him. 'I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to know when Joseph needs him…'

'Pa?' Adam cleared his throat and looked at his father, bringing the man back from his again-wandering thoughts. 'Pa, what did you find out in town?'

Ben sighed wearily as he put a hand on Adam's shoulder, ushering the boy into the house. Adam froze at the sound, and Ben turned to him, his eyes darkening as he noticed the apprehension on his oldest son's face.

'We need to talk,' Ben whispered softly, the words doing nothing to calm Adam's growing concern. 'And we will, as soon as I go upstairs to check on your brother. Give me a few minutes, and I'll explain everything.' Adam could only nod dumbly.

Ben moved with purpose towards the stairs. He nearly ran into Hoss as the boy was making his way down the stairs. Noting the confusion on the teenager's face, Ben stopped and looked at him.

'Hoss, son? What's the matter? Is your brother alright?'

Hoss's pale eyes widened as he noticed his father for the first time. Shaking his head blankly, and then just as quickly changing his mind and nodding in agreement, he just mumbled his response. 'Yeah Pa, I guess so. Hop Sing told me ta give him 'n Joe a minute…'

'Why?' Ben's eyes narrowed slightly as he continued to stare at his middle son. Hoss only shook his head to signify he didn't know the reasons behind the request, and then as if his mind suddenly realized who he was standing in front of, his next words came out in a sudden rush.

'Pa, what did ya hear in town? What's goin' on?'

Ben patted the boy's shoulder and pointed to where Adam was still standing downstairs in the big room. 'Go, wait with Adam. I'm just going to go check on your brother, and then I'll be back down. We have a lot of things we need to talk about.'

Hoss nodded and continued down to the big room below, and Ben took a deep breath before continuing up the stairs and down the hall towards his youngest son's room. His hand was on the doorknob when he heard the voices he recognized to be those of Hop Sing and his youngest, and what he heard made him freeze in shock.

He'd always known there was something different about the relationship between the wiry cook and his youngest son. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Hop Sing had been in the Cartwright household as long as Joe had, or maybe it was how the little boy had always needed the attention of others, or maybe it was just Joe's inquisitive nature. Ben wasn't entirely sure of the reason. He'd just known that there was something special between the two, a 'connection' that none of the rest of the family had ever been privy to.

He'd caught snatches of conversations in the past between the two, nothing more than short whispers, and always when the two had been alone. The little boy had always been fascinated with the tiny cook, often being found spending his time with him in the kitchens or gardens. After Marie had died, the hours spent together had only increased, as somehow the time together was therapeutic to the grieving child. Ben had wondered, secretly and once out loud to Adam, who had noticed it too, if there had been something more to the relationship between the two.

Hop Sing's wrath and sharp tongue were somewhat legendary. The man had no qualms at speaking his mind. Ben himself had been not only a witness to but more often than not the source of Hop Sing's scalding words, shouted angrily in some language he only guessed he was glad he didn't understand. He and his boys had always joked about Hop Sing's wrath and the angry gibberish he'd shout at them, but he'd always wondered. Wondered when Joe would duck his head away when his father or brothers were the focus of the onslaught of angry words. Wondered if perhaps one of his boys knew more than he had let on.

Ben stood frozen in the hallway, unable to turn the knob as the shock of what he was hearing paralyzed his senses. It wasn't the words that were being spoken, for he was familiarly unaware of what the words meant. It was the ease in which the words were being spoken, and the person who was speaking them. He stood there for a full minute, totally lost in the fact that his youngest son was speaking candidly and rapidly for the first time in days. And it wasn't English he was speaking.

He shook his head in stunned amazement as he turned and went back down the stairs. Apparently what he'd always wondered about his youngest son was correct. Joe had always known more than he'd let on. And, it seemed, the kindred relationship the little boy had found with the oriental man was what he needed right now. Ben wasn't sure if he was saddened or relieved at the revelation.

He started to wonder how many other secrets his youngest son was holding onto.

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Hop Sing pushed open the door to Joe's bedroom, pausing for just a moment to take in the scene in front of him. Hoss was sitting in the big chair that had been pulled up close to the bed, his face one of obvious concern. But it wasn't the middle Cartwright son that Hop Sing focused on. The youngest Cartwright was lying on the bed and his eyes were closed, but the attempt at feigned sleep didn't fool the small man. No, he knew the boy all too well, and that old trick wasn't going to work at all.

Hop Sing cursed silently as he took in the boy's haggard features; his skin was pale and his eyes were sunken in dark purple shadows. It was obvious to him that Joe hadn't been eating properly, the boy's slight frame now even more so; he looked as if the slightest breeze could knock him over. The signs that had spoken to him had been correct when they'd told him to come back here; he muttered a barely audible curse in Cantonese as he moved forward into the room, setting the bowl he was carrying on the top of the dresser.

Hoss turned at the slight noise the cook's abrupt movements made, but Joe remained still, his eyes tightly closed. Hoss opened his mouth to speak out loud his surprise, but Hop Sing only gave a sharp shake of his head to silence whatever the teenager was going to say. When he spoke, his voice left Hoss no choice but to obey.

'Numba two son,' Hop Sing ordered curtly, not turning his attention from the boy on the bed. 'Older brother needs to talk to you, downstairs. Leave me a minute to talk to little boy.'

Hoss's mouth opened to protest, but promptly shut as Hop Sing's slight frame moved to push the much larger teenager out of the room. Hop Sing pulled the door shut and turned back to the boy on the bed.

'_I know you are awake_,' his voice was low but commanding as he spoke in his native tongue, knowing the boy before him could understand every word he was saying. They had a connection, after all. '_Open your eyes_.' A ghost of a smile formed on his face as the little boy slowly opened his eyes to look at him.

'_Little one_,' he greeted softly, reaching for the bowl he'd left on the dresser. Handing it to the boy, his voice was sharp when Joe crinkled his nose in disgust at the smell and attempted to push the bowl away. '_Drink it now. It will help_.' He smiled again as Joe reluctantly swallowed all of the bitter liquid, and then he handed him a glass of water. '_Here, now drink this_.'

Joe gulped the water down quickly before handing the glass back to Hop Sing. The boy's eyes dropped down to the hands he had folded in his lap, and he began to absently clutch at the blanket still covering his legs. Hop Sing studied the boy intently for several seconds before he spoke again, still in his native tongue.

'_What do dreams tell you, Joseph Cartwright?_' The use of his full name got the boy's attention, and he lifted his eyes to meet Hop Sing's even gaze. He could see the fear in the boy's green eyes, and came to sit down next to him. His voice dropped even lower into a whisper. '_What has you so afraid?_'

Joe hesitated, the tears starting to build in his eyes again. Hop Sing could tell that the child was terrified, but also knew that if he was ever going to get better, he would need to talk about it. He decided to try another tactic, one he knew would be sure to get the boy to talk.

'_If you do not talk, then I must guess you are lazy and just trying to avoid work_.' He pulled the blankets away from the boy's body as Joe fought him. '_Do not fight with me, little one. Do not bring shame on your family…'_

'Stop!' The boy pleaded desperately, and Hop Sing released his grip on the blankets. Joe pulled the cover back over himself, his body quaking as he shivered uncontrollably. The tears began to spill down his cheeks as he looked at his friend with wide, scared eyes. The words spoken in Cantonese were as fluent as if he had been born speaking them. '_Please! I try and try, but I just can't remembe_r!'

'_Think_,' Hop Sing whispered back, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder. '_Close your eyes…what do you see?_'

Joe closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Shakily releasing it, he opened his eyes again to stare directly at his friend. Hop Sing felt the familiar wave of foreboding again as he watched his young friend struggle. The signs that had been speaking were all pointing at something, something that was not good.

'_The voice…the voice changed, Hop Sing. It was nice to me, but then…_' Joe's voice broke and he threw himself into the man's arms. '_Then the voice came after me…it grabbed me…tried to pull me away, away from everyone._' He lifted his tear stained face to look at Hop Sing, the words tumbling rapidly from his mouth. '_I was all alone…that voice, he was going to get me…it was a very bad voice…_' Joe's voice trailed off as he turned away and stared at the wall.

Prayers and curses began to fight in Hop Sing's mind as he puzzled as to how to best comfort the boy in front of him. Whatever had happened to him had been terrible, and the worst part of it was that the boy had apparently suffered alone. His eyes widened as he remembered the only time in all of Joe's life that the boy had been separated from all of them, completely alone. Eagle's Nest.

'_What did the voice do?_' Knowing now what he needed to do, Hop Sing asked the question that would hopefully bring this whole nightmare out. He prayed fervently that he'd read the signs correctly.

'_Little one, what evil did you see?_'

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'I'm going to kill him!'

Ben stiffened and lifted startled eyes up from where he'd been staring into the fireplace. His expression hardened as he watched his normally stoic eldest son storming around the room, the young man's face red with rage. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben noticed Hoss's expression of dumbfounded shock, his pale eyes wide as he stared silently at his older brother.

As he had walked back downstairs after hearing Hop Sing and his youngest conversing together, Ben had done battle with himself on just what he should tell his older boys about what he'd found during his trip to town. Once in front of his sons, just one glance into his oldest's worried eyes had reawakened Ben's anger, and he'd soon found himself unable to contain himself. He told them everything, straight forward and to the point, withholding nothing.

Staring at Adam's display of rage, Ben suddenly wasn't so sure he'd made the right decision. He had noticed the minute he'd ridden into the yard that Adam was now wearing the gun he had been given for his birthday, and Ben now watched uneasily as Adam's fingers almost absently traced the Colt revolver. He was a little surprised by the vehement outburst, even as he had to admit that the boy's reaction wasn't anything different than he himself had felt earlier. Why had he expected a different reaction from the son who so emulated him? Ben smiled grimly at the thought, even as he now moved to calm the young man.

'Now, son…I need you to…'

'No, I mean it!' Adam stopped his furious pacing to stare glaringly at his father. 'I swear, Pa…if he so much as looks at Joe…' His voice trailed off as he turned and walked to the fireplace, pounding his fist against the smooth stones.

'He's not going to, son,' Ben promised sternly, putting a hand on Adam's shoulder. A sharp laugh escaped his throat. 'Besides, he's already been warned.'

Adam lifted his eyes to look at his father, the deadly seriousness on Ben's face doing nothing to quell the burning hatred the young man felt for Ashcroft. He didn't want to admit it, but the rage he felt was scaring him. He'd never felt anything so intense in his life, but it didn't change what he thought. Adam knew he would kill the man if he came near his brother, and he wouldn't hesitate to do it.

'Pa…whaddya mean?' Hoss's anxious voice questioned. His pale eyes widened in recognition as his gaze switched between his brother's and father's faces, and his features suddenly grew cold and withdrawn. Generally gentle and optimistic, Hoss was unaccustomed to the feelings of rage and hate that he too felt growing in his stomach. He turned pleading eyes to his father. 'Pa, what are we gonna do?'

Ben ran a hand through his hair as he staggered back to the settee and sat down. He had no plan, and still had no real idea as to the cause of the whole unending nightmare. The rumors Roy had heard in town added to his anxiety, but did little to shed any light on the mystery. He was spared the task of having to form an answer to his son's question as a slight figure appeared suddenly from the upstairs. Hop Sing strode purposefully towards Ben, coming to a stop directly in front of him.

'Mista Cartwright,' he greeted cheerlessly, watching his employer's face intently. He knew that Ben had been standing outside the bedroom door when he and Joe had been talking, and he could tell by the expression on Ben's face that the man had been shocked, and slightly hurt, by what he had just learned. Hop Sing clicked his tongue briskly, that mattered little now. There would be time to deal with hurt feelings later; right now there were more important things to discuss. The signs had spoken, and time was of the essence.

'Mista Cartwright,' he repeated, 'we need talk.' He anticipated Ben's question when the man turned his head anxiously towards the stairs, and he was quick to offer his reassurance. 'Youngest Cartwright son fine, I give him special drink to help sleep. But enough on that for now…' he paused, his voice firm in it's repeat, 'we need talk, now.' His gaze shifted from Ben's face to Adam and Hoss still standing beside their father, and then back to Ben again. 'Alone.'

'No,' Ben whispered, shaking his head as he noticed Adam's mouth begin to open in protest. 'My boys are as much a part of this as I am. They stay.' The matter settled, Ben waited for the man to continue. He looked at Hop Sing resignedly, a hint of jealousy tingeing his tone. 'What did he tell you?'

'How'd ya know?' Hoss couldn't resist asking the question that he'd wondered the answer to since the small man had made his appearance in Joe's room. 'How'd ya know to come when ya did?' Hop Sing smiled faintly at the wide-eyed curiosity displayed on the teenager's face.

'Family know when other family members in trouble,' he said softly, causing a small smile to cross Hoss's face. He straightened and looked back at Ben, noticing the man's softening features. 'I just knew the little one needed me.'

Ben swallowed rapidly, feeling a slight wave of shame at his behavior. Hop Sing was his friend; no, a part of his family, and he would be forever grateful for that. Hop Sing had a special bond with his son, and if that bond was going to help them solve this nightmare sooner, Ben knew he had to put his own feelings of inadequacy aside. He needed to put Joseph's well being first, and if it was Hop Sing who was the one who was able to get through to his son, then he was resigned to let it be.

Hop Sing's eyes never left Ben's face. 'I know you were behind door when little one spoke, you hear but not understand.' He saw from the corner of his eye Adam noticeably tense in sudden understanding as realization dawned; Hop Sing knew Adam had suspected also. 'But no more of that now. Little Joe needs our help.'

'Did he tell you anything at all?' Ben's voice was pleading, hoping, even as the sorrowful look on Hop Sing's face filled him with dread. 'Hop Sing, please. Do you know what happened to him?'

'Something very evil,' the man's voice whispered harshly, surprising Ben with the venom it contained. 'The evil try to take little boy away, but he escape.' Hop Sing glanced up to the ceiling, slight pride in his voice. 'Little one fight, very brave, very strong. But now…'

'What?' Adam whispered, asking the question that everyone was afraid of. 'What now?'

'The evil has come back. The evil want to take Little Joe again.'


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I must apologize for my lengthy absence. I can only say that I had some things come up in my life that took my attention away from this for a while. Maybe this extra long chapter will win me a little forgiveness (please, please)? Just a quick aside: if you've also been reading 'Camping', I'm hoping to update that as well in the next few days.**

**A special thanks to BJ2, Wendylouwho10, Elbertina Roberts, pat, AuereusUna, MJ, and Tacpebs for taking the time to leave me a comment. Your encouragement is wonderful. Thanks also to those who have added this story as a favorite or a follow. You guys are the best!**

**Aside to AuerusUna: Your comment made me laugh, so I just had to look this up. _Bonanza_ premiered on NBC on September 12, 1959 (thanks, Wikipedia!), when my father and mother were ages six and three respectively, so the show was way before my time, too! Still doesn't stop it from being fun to write!**

**Anyway, I'm about done talking. A lot of things are building in this chapter, it is only a matter of time now! I'm hoping that I've kept this chapter in line with the rest of my story, without it being overdone. If you can, I'd love to hear from you. Thanks, as always, for reading! - RJane :)**

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'_The evil has come back. The evil want to take Little Joe again.'_

Ben sat frozen on the settee, the words repeating mercilessly through his mind as he waited for Hop Sing to continue. All of the hurt and anger he'd been feeling towards the man in front of him had suddenly disappeared, swallowed up in a black hole of fear that now threatened to unhinge him. He heard Hoss gasp, and sensed, rather than saw, Adam's body tense at Hop Sing's revelation, but he couldn't seem to find the strength to offer them any comfort. Hop Sing was patient, and sensing the family's distress, gave them another moment to compose themselves before he continued. When he did, his voice was soft but carried forcefully.

'Little Joe went off that day, went with friend to play,' Hop Sing confirmed what Ben had already figured to be true. 'Boys playing, not pay attention to where they were going. Lost all track of time, didn't know they were so far away from home…'

'Did he say who he was with? Was it Timmy?' Ben mumbled dully, not turning from where he'd been staring blankly into the fire. 'Timmy Rawlins?'

'Youngest son did not say,' Hop Sing replied mournfully. His eyes focused on Ben, and he waited for Ben to lift his head and look at him before he continued. He felt the need to clarify further. 'Little Joe not remember who he with that day, I think he not want to remember…but…' Hope Sing paused a moment, 'but, yes…Hop Sing think Joe went with Timmy.' Hop Sing's thoughts turned to the small blond boy with the infectious smile who had appeared as young Joseph Cartwright's new best friend and then had disappeared seemingly unnoticed just a few months later. 'Friend of Little Joe never seen again after that day…' his voice trailed off sadly.

The room became stifling and uncomfortable as the silence grew louder. Unable to bear it any longer, it was Adam who broke the silence next.

'What happened, Hop Sing?' he asked quietly. 'What happened to Little Joe and Timmy that day?'

Hop Sing couldn't help but wince at the coldness he could hear in the young man's voice. The evil that seemed to have permeated throughout his entire family had twisted the young man's normally cool headedness into a burning hatred, and it made the small man uneasy. He couldn't help but think that overactive emotions would be of no help with the situation, especially with what he was about to tell them next.

'Two boys playing,' Hop Sing relayed the information slowly, his dark eyes darting back and forth as he watched the expressions on the faces of the men in front of him. 'Find small cabin, way up in woods. Little brother see something in cabin, a flash of bright, and then…then the evil one came.'

'E-evil one?' Hoss stuttered shakily, his pale eyes widening as his body shuddered involuntarily. He made an unconscious motion to stand closer to the settee where his father was still sitting.

'What was it that Joe saw?' Adam pressed, seeming ignoring Hoss. His voice remained calculated, biting off the words with deadly venom. Ben didn't visibly react to the words of either of his sons, choosing instead to continue his silent brooding.

'Brother not remember, but saw something that evil one wanted to protect,' Hop Sing stated, answering Adam's question cautiously. 'Then other little boy gone, brother all alone with evil. Evil one tried to get Little Joe, but Little Joe fight hard, get away.'

'He escaped up the mountain,' Ben whispered softly, to no one in particular. His eyes filled with tears as he fully realized the terror that his little boy must have felt that day. 'Joseph climbed to the top of Eagle's Nest to get away from someone...someone who had tried to… _dear God!_' The words sent a shudder through his body as a strangled sob caught in his throat. 'If he hadn't… hadn't been able to get away…he, he might have been…'

'Mista Cartwright speak truth,' Hop Sing finished softly, his heart pounding at the anguish so visible on the eldest Cartwright's face.

'P-pa?' Hoss's voice wavered as he pleadingly stared at his father, his grasping of the full horror of his little brother's nightmares causing his eyes to overflow. The young man backed slowly towards the stairs, clumsily grasping the stair rail for support when he stumbled against the bottom step. 'I'm…I'm gonna go…s-sit with Joe now, Pa.'

Ben just nodded once, silently, and Hop Sing's eyes followed the young man's ascent of the stairs. Hoss paused for a moment at the top of the steps, and Hop Sing took the moment to call to the teenager softly, seeing the boy's need.

'Little Joe fortunate to have such caring big brother,' he smiled softly, bringing a ghost of a smile to Hoss's pale face. 'Little brother sleep for a while, will need older brother with him when he wakes, to make him feel safe. Older brother is always to watch out for younger brother. Most important job, such a big honor in family.' Hoss's smile widened slightly, and Hop Sing breathed a sigh of hope that things could maybe still return to normal. 'Make family proud, understand?'

'Yes sir, Hop Sing,' Hoss stuttered quickly, disappearing from view as he turned and headed down the hall to Joe's room.

Ben smiled faintly at Hop Sing, nodding his head once in the man's direction in a sign of unspoken gratitude. He waited until he heard the bedroom door upstairs open and then shut again before he spoke. His demeanor suddenly changed, the smile now gone and his words resigned and weary.

'How long?'

Hop Sing felt for the man in front of him, a man that he had come to admire and respect over the years. It wasn't just jealously driving the man's question; Hop Sing could tell that it was something more. He could see the guilt and failure in Ben's eyes, and the momentary irritation the small man had initially felt at the question vanished. He could also see Adam, still standing near the desk, his eyes wary as well. He knew he had to explain.

'Little Joe and Hop Sing understand each other,' Hop Sign said softly. 'Ever since boy just a little baby, he and Hop Sing just have connection.'

'Hmph,' Ben sighed dejectedly, the old feelings of guilt and inadequacy welling up all over again. He had a suspicion of what the small man was going to say next.

'When Little Joe born, things very difficult on Ponderosa,' Hop Sing stated. 'Ponderosa need lots work, keep Mista Cartwright very busy. Two older sons in school…and Missy Cartwright, well…' he paused, watching both Adam's and Ben's eyes for their reaction. 'Missy Cartwright not well…need someone to help take care of little boy.'

Ben sighed heavily, recognizing the darkening of Adam's eyes as the young man's unspoken questions began to formulate. Marie Cartwright had always been plagued with ill health, something she had fought desperately to hide. Ben had found out about the blinding headaches and weakness that had left his wife unable to function, but they had hidden it from his two older sons. He realized now that at the time he had tried not to think too hard about what must have gone on in his house while she was sick and he was busy or away. Guilt, he supposed, kept him from thinking about it. Even after her death, Ben had never felt the need to tell his sons. He wasn't sure why he had made that decision—maybe, he supposed, to protect his wife's memory, or maybe to protect himself, he wasn't sure. But that mattered little now; as there it was, out in the open, another secret buried and then brought cruelly to light.

'Little boy no trouble for Hop Sing,' Hop Sing cut in quickly, seeing where Ben's thoughts had wandered. 'Very smart little boy, help with chores. Very funny, Little Joe like to play tricks. Clever, learn to speak so quickly…'

Adam had stood quietly during the whole explanation, his initial surprise at Hop Sing's revelations disappearing as everything began to make sense. And what Hop Sing had said was true-the early days on the Ponderosa had been hard on them all, least of all on a boy too little to understand any of it. It was only natural for his little brother to navigate towards the one constant in his daily life: the small man who had been at the Ponderosa for as long as he had.

Another thought came to Adam, and this one caused a dull ache of sadness to wash over him. Circumstances had only gotten harder for the family after Marie's accident. After her death, their father had retreated into a dark place, leaving sixteen year old Adam responsible for the running of the Ponderosa. Trying his best, Adam had attempted to handle both the responsibility of keeping their home running as well as the daunting task of being a parent to his two younger brothers. Spread too thinly with responsibility for a full-grown man, let alone a teenager, Adam had only been able to do so much. Despite his best intentions, the end result had been more empty hours for the baby of the family, hours that needed to be filled by someone who cared. Adam suddenly was overwhelmed with gratitude for the small man who had stepped in and filled that need in his little brother's life.

'Thank you,' his rough whisper startled the silence of the room. Adam's eyes shone with a new-found respect as he stared at the small man in front of him, the man who had saved his family on more than one occasion. 'For what you've done for Joe, what you've done for all of us.'

Hop Sing nodded at the young man, his eyes watching Adam's face carefully. He felt a small measure of relief when he recognized the slight return of the boy's normal calmness and self-control. It pleased him. He thought of the battle that still lay ahead, and smiled grimly.

_The evil has not won yet._

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Hoss sat in the big chair that had grown increasingly familiar in the past days, watching the even breathing that indicated his little brother's deep sleep. He felt the slightest measure of relief in the fact that Joe was no longer so deathly pale, and that his brother appeared to actually be peaceful in his slumber, something that had been missing for days. Whatever concoction Hop Sing had come up with for his brother had obviously done the trick and Hoss smiled faintly at the thought.

He had known, for years actually, that Hop Sing and Joe had had a special connection. He'd never been jealous of their relationship; in fact, he had always felt quite the opposite. His younger brother had always needed someone to take care of him, and, Hoss had only reasonably figured, if it couldn't be him or Pa or Adam, then Hop Sing was the next best thing.

His mind wandered back to the dark times of the past. Life had been hard on the youngest Cartwrights, especially after Marie's death. Joe had really been too young to understand what had happened, and Hoss, being just a child himself, had never really gotten over the loss of the only mother he'd ever known. Their pa had practically abandoned them, and, while Adam had done the best he could, it was obvious to even the young Hoss that his teenage brother had been overwhelmed with the responsibility. Hoss was smart enough to know that they would never have survived the whole ordeal without Adam, and for that he would be grateful to his older brother until the day he died. But it still hadn't made it easier.

And when Adam had left to go to college, barely a year later, it had been Hoss who had been thrust into the role of older brother, mentor, protector. He had enthusiastically thrown himself into the role, and a new normal had developed between the two youngest Cartwrights. The years he'd had being the oldest had been an awakening time for him, had given him a lot of perspective on just what it meant to be the caretaker of such a mischievous child as his younger brother. There had been moments, he now sadly realized, when it had been too much for him, too, to handle. Joe had always been needy, emotional. Hoss was grateful, grateful beyond words actually, that Hop Sing had been there to step in when no one else could.

Joe stirred in his sleep, bringing Hoss's thoughts back to the present. He was sad that his little brother had gone through such a terrible thing alone, and was even sadder at the thought that Joe had felt he'd had to keep it to himself in the first place. He knew Joe wanted to be tough, grown-up, but this was more than that. Something so horrible had happened to his brother that Joe had literally been terrified into silence. Bits of the conversation from earlier began to crowd into his mind.

'_Evil one…wants to take…again… far away from home… little boy gone… all alone._'

He shuddered as the words repeated now, sick with the thought of just how easily it could have been his little brother who had been lost, gone forever. An overwhelming feeling of loss came over him, causing the ready tears to stream down his face. His heart ached suddenly to return to the carefree times they had only recently enjoyed, in the weeks before this nightmare had begun.

'Hoss?'

His eyes lifted at the slight whisper, pale blue lighting up as he caught sight of the tired green eyes that were staring up at him. His face broke out into a feeble grin, and Joe mirrored him sleepily.

'Hey-ya, Shortshanks, how ya feelin'?'

'S'tired,' Joe mumbled, brushing a hand across his face. Hoss could see his little brother visibly stiffen as the memories of what had happened earlier came back to his memory. Joe's eyes widened and he looked around frantically. Seeing no one else in the room, he relaxed slightly before asking his older brother, 'What's goin' on?'

'Why don't ya tell me, little brother?' Hoss asked softly. Seeing Joe stiffen again, he leaned over and covered his brother's small hand with his own. 'Aw, come on, little buddy…ya can tell ol' Hoss, can't ya?'

Joe's lower lip trembled as he began to shake his head, but Hoss just squeezed the small boy's hand tighter to reassure him. Joe pulled his hand away as he turned his head, and Hoss felt another wave of sadness as again his brother appeared to shut him out. The soft words that finally came were barely audible, and full of sadness.

'I just…I just want things to go b-back to how they use ta be.'

Hoss released the breath he had been holding, and lowered his eyes down towards the bed. He looked up again, however, when he felt the gentle pressure of his brother's hand on his. Joe was giving him a small smile, his bright green eyes gazing almost shyly up at his older brother.

'I know, Shortshanks,' Hoss sighed, giving his brother a sad smile in return. 'Me too.'

Joe blinked, and yawned again as Hop Sing's tonic began to pull him under again. His eyes flitted closed and his breathing evened out again as he returned to his slumber. And the whole time, his older brother kept guard, Joe's small hand firmly held in Hoss's large one.

'Me too, buddy,' he whispered again, squeezing Joe's hand just a little tighter as he longed for the normalcy of days gone by. 'Nothin' ol' Hoss'd like more.'

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The night passed peacefully; the first time since the whole nightmare had begun. Joe woke only once during the night, for just a few minutes, before returning to the restful sleep he needed. Ben had long since sent, amidst loud protests, his other sons to their own beds to get some rest, resigning himself to the big chair next to Joe's bedside. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, so the hand on his shoulder startled him.

'Hop Sing!' He frowned at the small man who had suddenly appeared next to him. 'You startled me…'

'How Little Joe doing?' Hop Sing ignored the growl in Ben's voice as he moved to the side of the bed, putting a small hand on Joe's forehead.

'He's only awakened once,' Ben said gruffly, grimacing and rubbing his back as he stood up. Hop Sing turned and smiled sympathetically.

'Little Joe no wake for rest of night,' he stated with confidence. 'Enough time for father to go bed, get good sleep.'

'No,' Ben said dismissively, scowling again at the small man in front of him as the guilt he'd been feeling for days resurfaced. 'I can't leave him, not again…'

'Father never leave little boy intentionally,' Hop Sing whispered, easily reading the expression on Ben's face. 'Little Joe see, live through, something terrible…but not father's fault. Mista Cartwright cannot keep blaming self…'

'Why not?' Ben's whisper was fierce. He turned back to face the bed as Joe stirred slightly, Hop Sign giving him an indignant look warning him that he better not wake the child. He dropped his voice lower as he hissed, 'Why shouldn't I? If I had paid better attention that day…'

'What about Hop Sing?' Hop Sing's voice was calm and indifferent. 'Or Adam, Hoss or even Missy Cartwright? Are they to blame too? Should they have paid better attention?'

'What?' Ben's look was incredulous as he stared at the small man. 'No…_no_. How, how would any of you have known…how could any of you prevent…?' His words trailed off softly as he dropped his eyes, a faint blush of shame and understanding suddenly coloring his face.

'Mista Cartwright,' Hop Sing whispered, placing a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder, 'Ben Cartwright. Please…please, Mista Cartwright must stop putting blame on self. No do Little Joe any good blaming self now for something that happened long time ago.' His eyes darkened slightly. 'Mista Cartwright need put energy into helping Little Joe now, must be ready to keep him safe from the evil when time comes to face it.' He smiled with grim satisfaction when Ben nodded his head slowly in agreement.

'Uh, Hop Sing,' Ben said softly as he quickly wiped his hand across his eyes. Looking up to face Hop Sing, he cleared his throat gruffly as he tried to speak out loud the emotions he felt. 'I just want you to know that, well…you see…'

Hop Sing smiled as he began to push the other man out of the room. 'Mista Cartwright, Hop Sing understand…go, go now. You too tired; get sleep, Little Joe need you tomorrow.' He gave Ben one more shove, pushing the man into the hallway. Closing the door in Ben's face, Hop Sing called softly, 'Mista Cartwright no worry. Hop Sing stay with Little Joe.'

Ben stared at the closed door for a moment as a flicker of anger at his being so easily disposed of came over him. Almost as suddenly, the anger dissipated and a wry smile crossed his face. Shaking his head, he went first to Adam's door and then Hoss's, and seeing that they both were sleeping soundly, he turned to make his way down the hall to his own room. He might not be happy with the situation, but he knew it was pointless to argue. Hop Sing had that way about him, of getting others to do exactly what he wanted, with unpleasant consequences to endure if defied.

Besides, Hop Sing was right about one thing. He really was too tired to argue anymore.

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Adam startled awake, gasping slightly for breath as he sat up quickly in his bed. His eyes darted around the quiet room for a moment and he strained his ears to hear something, _anything_, that could give him a clue as to what had been awakened him so abruptly. Seeing and hearing nothing, he sighed softly as he flopped back down onto his pillows.

He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to slow his suddenly pounding heart. A shudder coursed through his body and he broke into a cold sweat as he realized just what had caused him to jolt awake. It had all been so real.

_The dark green shadows, growing longer and darker by the moment as he searched the woods for something. The wind had been howling behind him, the coldness sucking his breath from his body. He hadn't been sure where he was, and hadn't even realized he'd been running until his body suddenly slammed into the side of a small building. Startled, he'd fallen backwards, landing hard on the ground. Heart pounding in his chest, he'd struggled to get to his feet, freezing in absolute terror as the howling wind changed key and became something human and evil._

'_No…no,' he breathed, throwing his body forward in an attempt to get into the building. _

_He couldn't explain it, but an aura of safety seemed to radiate from the small building. Adam had his foot on the threshold when an icy grip grabbed onto his ankle, pulling him backwards. He fell again as the hold strengthened and began to drag him away from the safety of the small shed. His hands moved frantically as he clawed at the dirt, trying in a desperate attempt to pull himself forwards._

'_Let me go!' he screamed angrily, trying to kick away from the grasp that continued to hold him tightly. _

_Adam could hear the sinister laughing behind him as the icy hand on his leg continued to drag him backwards. The laughing suddenly stopped, and the voice spoke. It was devoid of any emotion except burning hatred, and the fear it instilled in Adam made him stop struggling for just a moment._

'_No one's going to save you…'_

_And then the laughing started again, first an evil chuckle that rapidly increased in intensity and cruelty until it verged on hysterical. Adam's heart fell at the wave of absolute and utter loneliness that crashed over him. He was wretchedly alone; there was no one to help him._

_Then, as suddenly as the laughing had started, it fell eerily silent. Adam found himself standing in a small clearing, the icy hands that had held him gone. The sun was shining, and he could hear the birds in the trees. Completely confused as to what happened, he began to spin in a slow circle, scanning the area around him._

'_Adam!'_

_The terrified scream echoed through the sunny clearing, shattering the calmness. Adam's eyes flew upwards and to the left, and the sight in front of him made his blood run cold._

'_Adam, please help!' his terrified little brother pleaded, as the little boy tried to pull away from the arm that was held securely around his neck. Joe's bright green eyes were wide with fear in his ghostly pale face as he struggled._

'_Let him go!' Adam choked out desperately. The arm holding his little brother only wrapped itself tighter around the little boy's neck, cutting off the boy's air and causing him to wheeze. Adam's heart stopped and his eyes smarted as unshed tears began to gather. 'Please…'_

_The laughter began again, this time louder and even shriller than before. Joe was trying to push himself away from the grasp that held him, struggling with the desperateness of an animal caught in a trap. Adam felt a cold rage build over him, his eyes hardening as he clenched angrily at something in his hand._

'_No one's going to save you…' the voice hissed into Joe's ear, sending the little boy into another wave of desperate thrashing. The little boy froze in utter terror at the unmistakable sound of a gun clicking, as the faceless figure holding Joe drew it's other hand up and pointed a revolver at his head, pulling back the hammer with dramatic fashion. The voice continued it's relentless taunting of the frightened child, the words tearing at Joe's older brother also. 'You've seen too much boy…nobody's gonna save you now…not even your big brother over there…'_

'_No, NO!' Adam screamed as the scene blurred before him. He stood frozen, unable to move, as a blur of greens and golds and blackness swirled around him, followed by the crack of a single gunshot._

'No…_no_…please…' Adam murmured, trying to push the terrible dream from his memory. He had closed his eyes as he relived the dream that had wakened him, and when he finally opened them he felt relief at seeing that he was still in his room. He struggled to his feet, and once standing on his still-shaky legs, he made his way slowly to the water pitcher and bowl. Splashing some water on his face resulted in calming his breathing down some, enough for him to clear his senses so that he could take a good look around for the first time.

Adam noticed the angles of light that the sun was casting through his window, surprised when he realized that it was around noontime. Suddenly afraid that something had happened, hence the quietness of the house, he forgot the dream as he pushed through his door into the hallway.

He made his way quickly down the hallway, hesitating a moment when he got to Joe's room. His dream still haunting him, and feeling the need to see that his little brother was indeed alright, Adam pushed the door open and stepped inside. The curtains had been drawn, keeping the room in semi-darkness, but Adam recognized the shape of his little brother lying quietly in the bed. He stepped closer, trying to study the boy's features in the dimness. A hand on his shoulder startled him.

'Little brother sleep,' Hop Sing whispered softly, turning a critical eye to look at Adam. Hiding his concern at the young man's haggard features, he smiled softly. 'All Cartwrights need sleep. Sleep whole day away.'

'Is he okay, Hop Sing?' Adam's worried eyes turned towards the silent form on the bed. 'No nightmares last night?'

'Little Joe sleep through whole night,' Hop Sing confirmed, the words earning him a sigh of relief from the concerned older brother. 'Youngest Cartwright son very strong, very brave.' Hop Sing leaned over the bed and touched the little boy's hair affectionately before turning back around to face Adam. 'Take time, but Little Joe will be alright. Evil have no chance against such strength.' He looked pointedly at Adam as he abruptly changed the subject. 'What evil does oldest Cartwright son see?'

'Evil…w-what?' Adam sputtered, his face growing red as he turned his eyes downwards towards the floor. 'Hop Sing, I don't know what you're trying to say, but…'

'Nonsense,' Hop Sing shook his head disgustedly, glaring at Adam. 'Easy to see Adam Cartwright is troubled by something; words you say do not fool Hop Sing any.' He paused thoughtfully for a moment. 'Perhaps you see something that will help?'

'Hop Sing,' Adam swallowed, not sure of how the question he was about to ask was going to sound. 'Do you think…I mean, do you believe in premonitions? Is what we see in dreams…do you think it means those things will come true?'

Hop Sing could see how much effort it had taken for the young man to speak what was on his mind, and he could also tell that whatever it was that he'd seen had troubled him greatly. He pondered the question for a moment, watching the emotions doing battle on Adam's face. When he spoke, it was low and with absolute conviction.

'No. Not all we see in dreams is truth. Dreams can be evil, too. Yes, they can tell truth, but they lie too.'

'Then how do I know what to do?' Adam implored, his eyes bright with emotion. He turned back to look at Joe still sleeping soundly. 'How do I know?'

Hop Sing took a deep breath and reached a hand out to touch Adam's shoulder. The boy shied away from his touch, and Hop Sing's heart welled in sorrow for the confused young man in front of him.

'Adam Cartwright very strong, very brave. Little brother learned from best example.' Adam didn't move, and Hop Sing continued confidently. 'Adam Cartwright will know the truth when time is right.'

'But…I…'

'No, Adam Cartwright must listen to Hop Sing.' He gave the young man in front of him a stern look. 'Trust Hop Sing, trust self. You will know truth at time it is to be revealed.'

Adam turned doubtful eyes to him, but Hop Sing remained firm. Adam's head bowed, but not before Hop Sing could see the tears filling his bright eyes. Silently, he moved to the young man and pulled him gently from the room, leading him towards the stairs. Coffee, something to eat, they would help. Hop Sing had taken care of them all for years, he knew what to do. And as they moved downstairs, Hop Sing couldn't deny his own emotions, a smile on his face as his heart swelled.

Pride, a sense of honor. This family, _his_ family, was something to be proud of.

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Joe stirred from his sleep, his green eyes opening slowly. His brow furrowed in confusion at the beams of light that were filtering into the room through the cracks in the drawn curtains. His eyes widening as they adjusted to the lack of light, he stared into the semi-darkness until he was able to distinguish the familiar shapes of the furniture in his room. It took him a moment to realize that he was alone, and he couldn't help feeling slightly surprised at it.

Not that he entirely minded being alone. They were all so worried; he wasn't blind to the anxiety he could see in their eyes, the fear they tried to hide when he was looking. Normal life on the Ponderosa had come to a near stand-still since his episode in town, and he hated the fact that it was his fault. He'd realized he wasn't as grown up as he wanted to be, and that bothered him. The nightmares had terrified him, fed on his deepest fears of being alone. He'd cried out for them then; but now, alone in the quiet, he had begun to think. And the thoughts on the pain he'd caused, the fear and helplessness he felt shamed him.

It was the moments like these that he wished everything could go back to normal. That he could just forget everything all over again, be empty of the nightmares that tried to force him to remember something he just didn't want to remember. At first, when the nightmares had started, he had wanted to remember; but now, after what they'd all been through, all he could wish for was forgetting. And he wanted everyone else to forget, too. He was tired of the worry and the hurt and the careful concern that made him feel like an outsider.

Joe sighed as he put his feet on the floor, pulling himself up to stand. He moaned softly as he put a hand down on the bed to support himself as the room began to spin. His vision cleared and he made his way to his dresser, quickly pulling off his nightshirt and slipping into a pair of pants and one of his chore shirts. Dressed, he turned to his mirror and made a half-hearted attempt at smoothing his unruly hair. Taking a deep breath, Joe emerged from his bedroom door and began a slow descent of the stairs.

He was momentarily surprised to see the lengthy shadows on the floor below, indicating that it was nearing evening chore time. He groaned at the realization that the day had gone by yet again, and that he had been oblivious to it. Determined now to do what he could to get things back to normal, he decided that he would make his way to the barn to begin his chores. So lost was he in his thoughts that he was unaware of the concerned eyes watching him.

'Joseph?'

Joe was started from his musings and stopped on the bottom stair. He blinked once and stood, frozen, as he attempted to get his bearings. Ben stood from his desk and moved towards his youngest son, laying his hand gently on the boy's shoulder.

'Joseph? Are you alright, son?'

Joe looked up as if hearing his father's voice for the first time. His eyes quickly dropped back down to the floor and his cheeks flushed with shame as he recognized the worry he again saw on his father's face. He was tired of causing so much worry. Ben felt his stomach twist upon seeing how his son couldn't even bring himself to look his father in the eye. Cupping the boy's' chin in his hand, he gently pushed Joe's head upwards, forcing the little boy's eyes to meet his own. His voice, when he spoke, was warm and gentle.

'Joseph, you know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?' He waited for the boy to respond, and when Joe didn't answer, he tried again. 'Joseph, do you hear me?'

'Yes sir,' the boy's voice rasped softly, his eyes glistening with tears.

Ben's heart broke at the sight, and he responded in the only way he knew how-he pulled his son into a fierce hug. Joe buried his face in Ben's waist, and Ben just stood silently, one arm wrapped around his son tightly while his other hand stroked gently through the boy's hair. He held him tightly until the tears stopped and Joe began to squirm away.

'Now,' Ben, hoping to lighten Joe's mood, changed the subject. 'Are you hungry, son? Hop Sing will have dinner ready shortly.' His eyes watched his son's face, pleading with him to try.

Joe, still embarrassed by the emotional release, gave his father a small smile, grateful for the attempt at normalcy that his father was extending. He didn't speak, just nodded his head slowly. Ben released the anxious breath he'd been holding and smiled back at the boy.

'Good…come then,' he said quietly, indicating with his hand the dining room table.

Joe looked in the direction his father was pointing, his breath catching slightly as he noticed his two older brothers for the first time. Sitting at the table, both Adam and Hoss were trying their best to ignore their little brother's embarrassment. It was Hoss acknowledged Joe first.

'Oh, hi-ya, Shortshanks,' he said quickly, trying his best to keep the worry out of his voice. 'Ya hungry?' He glanced over at Adam and smiled weakly. 'Hop Sing was jist about gettin' ready ta git us somethin' to eat.' He pointed to his stomach and laughed heartily. 'Hope he made a ton. I's so hungry, I could eat this here table!'

He and Adam both grinned widely at the resultant chuckle from Joe. Ben clasped his youngest's shoulder tightly as he steered the boy towards the table. They were barely seated before Hop Sing entered with a large tray. Setting the tray down on the table in front of Joe, the cook smiled at the boy before lifting the lid.

'Little Joe need eat,' his eyes warm and his smile widening. 'Hop Sing make Little Joe favorite for dinner.' He scowled in mock disgust at Hoss's happy whooping as the lifted lid revealed the tray of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. 'Hoss Cartwright betta' not eat all Hop Sing cook,' he warned testily, slapping at Hoss's outstretched hand. 'Save some for rest of family.'

Hoss snorted and turned to his plate, but Ben and Adam both sat motionless, watching the exchange intently. Their faces broke into smiles of relief when Joe reached towards the tray and almost shyly helped himself to some of the chicken. Adam looked at his father quickly before turning his attention to his own dinner.

The meal was a quiet, but rather comfortable affair, and to Ben's watchful eye, Joe appeared to be more relaxed than he had been in a long while. He caught Hoss's eye and nodded to his son, grateful for the teenager's insight in planning the meal. It had been Hoss who had confided to his father and older brother Joe's urgent desire for things to return to normal, and the whole family, including Hop Sing, had done their best to make the evening as normal as possible. Finally, with the last piece of the cake Hop Sing had made eaten, Ben pushed back his plate and looked at his youngest.

'Joseph,' he said slowly, studying the boy's face as he tried to gage just how the boy was going to react, 'I've been thinking on things for a while now. I've watched you son, watched you trying to handle this all on your own.' He paused for a moment before continuing. 'Son, I don't know what happened to you that day, and I can't take it back, but I'm here now.' At the stricken look that he could see forming on Joe's face, he hurried to finish what he'd wanted to say. 'But not until you're ready. In the meantime, there are a lot of things stacking up around here. We all need to get back to work, get things back to normal.' The anxiety on Joe's face relaxed and he nodded quickly in agreement. Ben cleared his throat; he wasn't sure how the little boy was going to react to the next part. 'And that means you, young man,' he said, pointing to Joe, 'will be heading on back to school. Starting first thing tomorrow morning.'

Adam and Hoss had been silently watching their brother's changing expressions. When Joe's nose crinkled up in obvious disdain at the last part, the tension was released and they looked at each other, smiles on their faces. Joe groaned, and Ben himself couldn't hide the amused twinkle in his eye.

'Aw, Pa,' Joe groaned again, pushing his plate away with disgust. Even though he'd wanted things to go back to normal, school hadn't been a part of the normalcy he'd craved. While a decent enough student, he just plainly didn't like school. He hated the long days indoors, reading and working arithmetic when he'd much rather be outside riding or doing ranch work; he hated the long hours in the evening when he'd have to work on his assignments; but most of all, he hated the hours spent alone, the time away from his family. He scrunched his face up pleadingly. 'Do I hafta?'

Ben hesitated for just a moment. Joe was looking up at him with sad eyes, the expression on the little boy's face weakening his resolve. His heart wanted nothing more than to keep his son in his sights indefinitely, but his head knew better. Joe needed a normal routine, and this was it. Ben knew he needed to stay firm, it was really what was best for his son, but he couldn't stand seeing the sadness in the boy's eyes. Adam and Hoss both saw the struggle their father was having, and both spoke up quickly.

'Now Joe,' Adam said, deciding to take the practical approach. 'You know you have to go to school. You have a lot to learn before we can be partners, right?' He smiled affectionately at his younger brother as he remembered the wish Joe had shared with him a long time ago.

'Yeah, Shortshanks,' Hoss was quick to agree. ''Sides, I'll ride with ya! Whatta ya think 'bout that? We'll even take Storm for ya to ride.'

Ben scowled at Hoss even as Joe began to smile at the idea. He wasn't thrilled with the idea of Joe riding that half-gentled monster of a horse, but seeing Joe's agreement to go along with the plan, he sighed resignedly. Adam grinned at both of his younger brothers.

'I guess that's a plan, isn't it?' He winked at Hoss.

'Guess so, right little brother?'

Hoss's eyes glinted with sudden mischief. Reaching over to his little brother, he lifted Joe right out of his chair, holding him in a tight bear hug with one arm as he began to mercilessly tickle him with the other. Joe's shrieks of protest, interrupted by ragged bursts of breathless laughter, only grew louder as first Adam, and then Ben, joined in the assault.

Hop Sing heard the laughter from the kitchen. He breathed out a short prayer of relief in his native tongue, and then smiled broadly. Whatever lay ahead, he knew that his family was going to be able to handle it, together. The way it was supposed to be.

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The man sat at the bar glumly, nursing the beer that sat in front of him. The town that had been so forthcoming with the information he'd been seeking had suddenly turned cold and suspicious. And he wasn't blind to the fact that every time he turned around, the sheriff or his deputy was always nearby, keeping silent tabs on him.

Not that Daniel Ashcroft expected to get much more useful information out of the old town anyway. While most people had been friendly enough, they didn't have the information he was looking for. They could speak in generalities about the Cartwright family, but either hadn't been around at the time or didn't remember the events he was particularly interested in. All he had gotten for his trouble was the bare facts. Little Joe Cartwright, aged five, had been friends with Timmy Rawlins, aged seven. One day, the youngest Cartwright had been reported missing by his older brother, only to be found the next day, unharmed, by his father. Timmy Rawlins had been reported missing soon after, with one glaring difference. He, unfortunately, had never been found.

Ashcroft sighed loudly in frustration as he caught yet another glimpse of the deputy sheriff, watching him from the opposite side of the saloon. The two made eye contact before the deputy moved across the floor to the barroom's swinging doors and stepped out into the night. Muttering under his breath, Ashcroft turned back around and let his fist fall heavily on the bar.

'Hey, watch it mister!'

The angry voice startled Ashcroft from his anger and he turned surprised eyes towards the direction the voice was coming from. His eyes hardened and he shrank back slightly at the sight of the burly man standing over him with a menacing scowl on his face. The man motioned to the remains of a spilled beer on the counter.

'What ya gonna do about it, mister?'

'S…sorry,' Ashcroft mumbled, signaling the bartender with a raised hand. The bartender quickly set down a fresh beer in front of the lanky young man, and Ashcroft nodded to him.

'Huh,' the man grunted, taking a long swig of the beer. Setting the glass back down on the bar, he looked over at Ashcroft with narrowed eyes. He scowled again at Ashcroft's stare. 'Ya gotta problem?'

'No,' Ashcroft hurried, rising to his feet quickly. Turning to exit the saloon, he made it two steps before he stopped and turned back around to face the man still at the bar. Ashcroft's eyes narrowed as he stared at the man, a smug smile on his lips as he stepped back towards the bar. 'Say now, I'm real sorry about what happened. I'd like to apologize, Mr. …?'

The man looked startled at the sudden change in Ashcroft's demeanor. 'Spencer,' he muttered, eyeing Ashcroft carefully. 'Brady Spencer.' Spencer jerked a thumb towards a man standing to his left, a man Ashcroft was only now noticing for the first time. 'My brother, Jonah.' The stocky man next to Spencer only momentarily looked up from his own shot of whiskey. Spencer's eyes hardened again. 'What's it to ya?' he demanded.

Ashcroft's grin only widened at the mention of the man's brother. His plan was a simple, yet effective one, and he could barely repress the glee that he felt at the fact that it was going to be even easier for him to employ than he'd first thought.

'Bartender!' Ashcroft called, stepping back up to the bar next to Spencer. When the bartender came over to him, he smiled widely. 'Another round of drinks for my two friends here!' The slightly nervous man hurried to comply. 'Leave the bottle,' he smiled once the glasses and bottle arrived, flipping a coin at the bartender. Filling the three glasses, Ashcroft pushed two towards the Spencer brothers and lifted the third up to his own lips. 'Drink up, my friends!'

'Thank ya, mister,' Jonah Spencer said as he gulped down the drink. Ashcroft's face was unreadable as he poured Jonah another drink, a drink which the man was only too happy to guzzle down.

'I'm gonna ask ya agin, what's it to ya?' Brady Spencer, still suspicious of the stranger's change in demeanor, narrowed his eyes. Unlike his brother, he had yet to touch the drink he still held in his hand. 'Who are ya, anyway?'

'Daniel Ashcroft, and pleased to make your acquaintance, sir,' Ashcroft said stiffly, doing his best to hide his growing irritation. He forced himself to smile, a smug look on his face and his voice as smooth as oil. 'Just want to have a friendly drink, that's all. You see, I'm not from around here, and this town seems to be a right suspicious and unfriendly one.' He watched Spencer for a reaction, and smirked inwardly as Spencer reacted as he hoped. 'Have you ever noticed that, Mr. Spencer?'

Brady snorted into his whiskey. 'Yeah, suppose that's a fact.' He finally drained the drink in his hand, holding the empty glass out towards Ashcroft, who quickly complied with his unspoken request. 'Darn Sheriff gave ya trouble, too, Mr. Ashcroft?'

Ashcroft's face darkened, and Brady, seeing the change in the man's expression, snorted again. He emptied the whiskey again, and laughing ruefully, slapped Ashcroft soundly on the back. 'Don't ya worry none, Mr. Ashcroft. Your secret's safe with us. Right, Jonah?' Brady jabbed his brother with his elbow, Jonah snickering as he filled his glass again from Ashcroft's bottle.

Ashcroft was livid with rage but managed to keep his composure. He forced his lips into a tight smile. 'Well, that's where I was hoping you boys could help me out some.' His voice was steely, and his eyes were black with anger. 'You'd be well compensated for your trouble, of course.'

'You sayin' what I think yer sayin'?' Brady's eyes lit up suddenly at the mention of money, and he reached out a hand to stop his brother from kicking back another drink. 'What sorta help ya lookin' for, Mr. Ashcroft?'

Disgusted by the hungry greed he saw in both Spencer brothers' eyes, Ashcroft chuckled bitterly at them as he motioned them to a table. Sitting down, it only took a matter of minutes for the men to agree to Ashcroft's proposal. Pushing up from his chair, Ashcroft tipped his hat to the Spencer brothers as he made his exit of the saloon.

Walking straight to the hotel, he paused just a moment before entering. He could feel the presence of the deputy behind him, watching his every move. As he opened the door and stepped inside, he just happened to see out of the corner of his eye that the deputy was walking back towards the sheriff's office. A smile crossed his face as he closed the door behind him.

'Soon,' he whispered to no one in particular, his smile broadening. 'Soon.'

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Sheriff Roy Coffee was sitting at his desk, putting the finishing touches on a bit of paperwork. It had been a fairly peaceful evening, with the exception of a couple of cowpokes who had gotten a little rowdy on payday and who were now his overnight guests, and Roy wanted to finish up the forms before retiring for the evening. It was getting pretty late, and Roy had just signed his signature for the last time when Deputy Singer opened the door and walked in.

'Everything's pretty quiet, Sheriff,' the deputy called cheerfully as he slammed the door behind him. Walking over to the stove, he picked up the coffeepot and shook it before he poured himself a cup of the brew. Grimacing at the bitter taste of the old burned coffee, he set the cup right back down before he turned to face the sheriff again. 'That fella you had me watchin', he went into the hotel. Looks like he's in for the night.'

'Good…good,' Roy replied as he busied himself with stacking the forms into a neat pile. Singer's report was a welcome one; ever since he'd made that promise to Ben Cartwright to keep an eye on Daniel Ashcroft, he'd made sure that he knew where the man was at all times.

'Is there anything else before I leave, Sheriff?' Singer asked as he looked to the man still sitting at the desk.

Roy shook his head. 'Thanks, Joel. No, I think everything's quiet for the night.' He nodded his head towards the back of the jail. 'Got a couple of rowdies cooling their heels tonight, but otherwise, not much has been going on.'

'Alright then,' the young deputy smiled. 'I guess I'll see you in the morning then?'

'Fine,' Roy readily agreed, standing to shake the young man's hand. 'I want to thank you, Joel, for stepping in like this. I appreciate all your help these last couple of days.'

'No problem, Sheriff,' Joel said, slightly puzzled at the older man's sudden show of appreciation. 'I'm glad I could…'

He was cut off abruptly by the heavy sound of someone running down the wooden sidewalk. It took only seconds for the door to open, the excited young man who entered gasping for breath as his voice bellowed the news.

'Sheriff! You gotta come quick! The Spencer brothers is bustin' up the saloon a'gin!'

The messenger didn't wait for a response to his news; he took off out of the door as fast as he had come in, eager to get back to the excitement. Roy stood quickly, the chair he was sitting in falling with a loud thud to the floor. His eyes flashed fire as he grabbed his gun belt and fastened it to his waist.

'Dad blame those boys! If I told 'em once, I told them a thousand times…' he sputtered furiously, 'when I get my hands on them, they're going to regret it!' He pushed angrily past the deputy into the once-quiet night.

Joel Singer watched the retreating figure of the sheriff, sighing loudly as he scuffed the toe of his boot on the floor. Placing his hat back on his head, he sighed again as he followed the man out into the night, shutting the office door behind him.

'So much for a quiet night,' he muttered sullenly. He could hear the excited shouts and the banging and thudding of what he could only guess was barroom furniture getting louder and more pronounced the closer they got to the saloon.

Roy strode purposefully into the saloon, drawing his gun from the holster as he entered the swinging doors. He ducked quickly as a chair came hurtling in his direction, splintering against the wall just behind him. Pointing his gun at the ceiling, he fired one shot, the boom from the gun deafening in the crowded room.

'What's going on here?!' he bellowed into the suddenly silent room, his eyes angrily scanning the crowd. Seeing the men he was looking for, his face pinched into a scowl as he strode over to the two men in the middle of the room. He roughly grabbed the arm of one of the men, hauling him none too gently up onto his feet.

'Brady Spencer!' Roy roared, giving the man a fierce shake, the movement causing Spencer to moan and clutch at his head. 'What in Sam Hill is goin' on in here?!' Not waiting for a response, he dragged the young man towards the door, motioning for Singer to collect Brady's brother. 'What did I tell you, last time you broke up the saloon?!'

Brady moaned again and leaned heavily against the sheriff, Roy struggling to keep him from falling back to the floor. He pushed the drunken man out into the darkness and Brady staggered and fell against the hitch rail. Roy glanced back in time to see Joel Singer dragging a nearly unconscious Jonah towards the jail. Turning back to Brady, his eyes narrowed again and his voice was cold.

'Well, what did I tell you?' he prompted angrily.

'Goin'….g-goin' ta j-jail,' Brady slurred, doing his best to keep himself standing. Roy just snorted in disdain at the sorry mess of a man standing in front of him.

Brady Spencer and his brother Jonah were known to have a reputation for finding trouble. Twenty-six and twenty-four respectively, they were old enough to know better. It didn't seem to matter, however: they seemed to have a talent of getting caught up in any and all the ruckus that occasionally got started in town. Hard-headed, hot-tempered, and sometimes just plain gullible, they'd been warned of the consequences that were bound to come with their continued indiscretions. Still, for all the scrapes they had managed to get themselves into over the years, Roy had found that he couldn't help but like the boys. Rarely starting trouble themselves, rather always being talked into it, Roy had always tried to give them a bit of fatherly advice and would warn them to behave. Now, Roy thought resignedly, he'd have to act on the threat he'd made the last time the Spencers had been the cause of trouble.

'That's right, Brady,' Roy said, feeling no sympathy when the young man again moaned and grabbed at his head. 'You and Jonah are going to be staying in my deluxe accommodations tonight.'

Roy pushed Brady through the open jailhouse door and into the cell that Deputy Singer had already dragged an unconscious Jonah to. He couldn't help a faint smile at the sound of loud snoring already coming from the younger Spencer brother. He dropped Brady down rather unceremoniously onto the cot, not visibly reacting to the groan of pain as Brady landed hard. He watched the young man for a moment as Brady drifted towards unconscious, and shaking his head, Roy moved to turn away. Something made him stop, and he turned back to face the nearly asleep drunk in the cell.

'Who was it talked ya into it this time, Brady?' His voice was quiet, and then he smirked before continuing. 'Sure hope it was worth it.'

'Uh…' Brady moaned as he lapsed into a drunken sleep. Roy had to strain to hear the young man's nearly inaudible mumble. 'Y-yeah. Ah…easy…t-twinny d-duhlars… ev-uh m-make…'

Roy stood watching the two young men as Brady's snores began to do battle with Jonah's. Brady's comment perplexed him, but he knew it would be useless to try to get anything from the drunken boy now. Any questions would have to wait until they'd slept it off. Scratching his head, he turned back towards the office where Singer was making a fresh pot of coffee.

What on earth did Brady Spencer mean?

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

He had been waiting, his eyes wide as he watched the street. Daniel Ashcroft's mouth quirked up into a steely smile as he saw first the sheriff, and then the deputy, head down the street towards the ever-loudening sounds of fighting coming from the saloon. Stealing a glance of the room around him, his smile became even broader as he realized the lone occupant, the man keeping watch over the front desk, was just as engrossed in the unfolding drama down the street as the sheriff and deputy. He moved stealthily along the floor towards the back door, slipping out into the dark night completely unnoticed.

He ran silently through the back lots until he reached the dark and quiet livery. Opening the barn door just enough so that he could slip inside, he breathed a sigh of relief at the silence that surrounded him. He didn't bother to light a lantern as he quickly saddled his horse, not needing the light to perform the routine task. Pulling a coin from his pocket, he set the money on the storage ledge just above the stall, where he was sure the livery owner would find it in the morning. He didn't want to be accused of cheating the man, after all.

Leading the horse to the door, Ashcroft stuck his head out into the night air tentatively, his eyes scanning the darkness for any signs that he'd been spotted. Seeing no one, he pushed the door wider and led his horse into the cooling night air. He walked the horse to the edge of town, taking all precautions to make as little noise as possible. He grinned at the sound of thin yells and scuffling that were still echoing from the saloon on the other side of town.

He had just reached the edge of town when the commotion finally quieted and the night was still again. Ashcroft took a moment to swing his leg up over the horse's flank, pulling himself effortlessly up into the saddle. His smile grew wide and his eyes glinted as he kicked the horse into a gentle trot, allowing the animal to pick up speed the further he got away from town. He even allowed himself a small chuckle as he left the town behind completely.

'Thanks, boys,' he laughed as he continued to pull further from the town and closer to his goal. 'You did your part real well.'

And that old fool of a sheriff was none the wiser.

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Brady Spencer groaned as his eyes struggled open, the daylight sending a searing pain echoing through his skull. Holding his head in his hands, he weakly pushed himself to a sitting position, his eyes tightly closed against the light. Once the swirling dizziness had eased, he cautiously opened his eyes to investigate the surroundings around him, wincing as the light again assaulted his senses.

'Mornin' Brady,' the cheerful voice rang mercilessly in his ears, bringing on another wave of pain that was followed closely by the urge to throw up. 'No…no ya don't,' the voice warned. 'You throw up in my jail and it'll cost ya.'

Brady swallowed harshly as he breathed in deeply through his nose, exhaling through his mouth in an attempt to calm his rolling stomach. His stomach settled just a little, he lifted confused eyes to the direction of the voice. He was surprised to see the very annoyed face of one Sheriff Roy Coffee peering down at him.

'Sh..sheriff,' he croaked, his throat suddenly dry. Roy seemed to anticipate the young man's need and held a dipper of water out to him. Sipping it slowly until it was gone, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before turning back to the sheriff. 'Th..thank ya, Sheriff.' The sheriff only sighed in response, and Brady got the distinctive impression that he should know more about what had happened than he seemed to know at the moment. Swallowing the little pride he had left, he reluctantly came to the conclusion that the only way he was going to find out was by asking. 'What…what is goin' on here? How come,' he slowly turned his eyes to the sound of familiar snoring coming from the other side of the cell, 'how come me an' my brother is locked up?'

Roy shook his head angrily. 'I was hoping you could tell me,' he scoffed at the young man. 'What in tarnation got you boys so riled up last night that ya had to go bustin' up the saloon?' He banged his fist against the bars, the resounding clanging sending Brady into another wincing grimace. 'Dang it, Brady! What's goin' on in that fool head of yours, boy?'

Pieces of the previous evening were starting to fit together in Brady's pounding head, and he had a feeling that what he was remembering wasn't going to make the irate sheriff in front of him any happier. He sighed. 'Guess we wasn't thinkin', Sheriff.'

'Well now, I certainly couldn't tell that!' Roy replied sarcastically. Brady hung his head slightly, shamed. Roy saw the repentant look on the boy's face and lightened up on him just a bit. 'Okay, Brady. Just tell me this one thing …who was it that got ya goin' this time?'

'Aw, just some fella buyin' us drinks in the saloon,' Brady mumbled, then moaned in despair as another thought came to him. He lifted nervous eyes up to meet the sheriff. 'How…how much is it gonna cost this time?'

The look on the boy's face was too much for him to handle, and Roy had to quickly disguise the laugh into a cough as he shook his head quicklyy. Giving himself a moment to compose himself, Roy turned to face the boy, his voice cool even as his eyes twinkled with amusement.

'Well there, son,' he drawled slowly as he counted on his fingers. 'Ol' Roddy figured about ten for the tables…and five for them chairs you two busted up, and another ten for the windows…course, about eight dollars for all them bottles of whiskey that got broke…and throw in another five for the big picture mirror…' he smirked again as the color drained from Brady's face. 'All said and done, you're lookin' at about forty dollars. How you boys plannin' on payin' for all them damages?'

Brady angrily threw his head back against the wall, instantly regretting the action as another wave of dizziness overtook him. He groaned as he held his head in his hands, his disgust evident. 'Shoot,' he mumbled, more to himself than anyone else, 'that's gonna take all the money that Ashcroft fella gave us…'

'Brady Spencer!' Brady was stunned when the sheriff grabbed his shift collar and pulled him violently forward, causing him to collide with the bars of the cell. In all the scrapes he and his brother had gotten themselves into over the years, he'd never seen the sheriff this upset before, and the sudden violence scared him a bit. Roy shook the young man once, and his voice, when he spoke again, was deadly.

'Brady Spencer, I ain't gonna ask you but this one time, so you better tell me the truth. Are you sayin' some man named Ashcroft paid ya money to get in a fight?!'

Brady felt his knees weakening to water as he stared dumbfounded into the sheriff's cold expression. He knew better than to cross the man, and he knew enough to know that the sheriff would make good on his threat. Swallowing harshly, he nodded slowly. Roy shook him again.

'What else did he do?'

'W-well, Sheriff,' Brady said meekly as Roy relaxed his grip and the young man slid back to sit on the cot. 'He just got ta talkin', that's all. Said this town, 'specially you, Sheriff,' he looked up quickly to Roy and then right back down to the hands he was twisting nervously in his lap, 'was awful suspicious of everythin' and everybody. Asked me and Jonah to give 'im a few minutes, then we was to create a big ruckus. Paid us twenty dollars each to do it.'

Roy felt sick to his stomach as a feeling of dread washed over him. Not sure if he wanted to hear any more of the story, he asked hesitantly, 'Did he say why?'

'That's what was right funny 'bout it,' Brady frowned. He looked up again into Roy's troubled face. 'Didn't even stay ta watch. Just said he needed a bit of a distraction.'

'Joel!' Roy roared, turning quickly from the stunned Brady and running into the front office. Joel Singer stood from where he'd been sitting at the desk and looked questioningly at the Sheriff. 'Joel! Get on over to the hotel, and get there quick! I need you to check on that Ashcroft fella!'

'But Sheriff,' the deputy protested, 'I saw him go into the hotel last night myself, and he hasn't left since then, I would have seen him…'

'Don't question me, boy!' Roy roared, the urgency in his voice sending the deputy hurrying to comply. Joel nervously strapped on his gun and put his hat on his head before rushing out the door and down the street.

Roy paced anxiously from one side of the small office to the other, hoping against hope that what he now feared was true wasn't actually happening. It only took a few minutes for Joel Singer to return, and Roy's expression darkened when he saw the young deputy's face.

'Sheriff, he's gone. Horse too. Hotel clerk ain't seen him since last night.' Joel hung his head sadly as he relayed the news. When he looked up, he saw that the Sheriff had already put on his own gun belt and had reached for his hat. 'Where you going, Sheriff?'

'Stay here,' Roy said hoarsely, not even turning to look at the young deputy standing behind him. 'I'm going out to talk to Ben Cartwright.' He strode purposefully out the door, slamming it firmly behind him. Joel Singer shook his head as he watched the man walking away, unaware of the tears that had pooled in the seasoned lawman's eyes or the gruff whisper that begged forgiveness.

'I'm sorry, Ben. Powerful sorry.'

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End file.
